


Unbreak

by XayahMoonblood



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Rey (Star Wars), Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Happy Ending, I just want them to be happy, Idiots in Love, Loss of Virginity, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Resolved Sexual Tension, Rule of Cool, Sexual Tension, Sort Of, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), eventually, they deserve to be happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 52,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XayahMoonblood/pseuds/XayahMoonblood
Summary: "You'll never be alone. Not with me," Ben promised.Rey sighed contentedly in response, inching her body impossibly closer until The Force wrapped around her like a vise. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so safe.It would have been perfect if it weren't for the gnawing absence deep in her chest. She was comfortable and secure in his arms, but it was not nearly enough. Ben was still on an entirely different plane of existence and her soul knew it. Her mind could feel him. Her body could feel him. Her spirit, however, couldn't connect to his and that was causing a profound pain in The Force.Unbalanced."I miss you," she whispered after a short lull."I know," Ben replied through the bond, pressing his lips softly against the nape of her neck and making her shiver."I'm going to bring you back," she thought resolutely. "I'm going to do whatever it takes to bring you back to me.""I know that, too."
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 392
Kudos: 365





	1. Loss

"Rey Solo," she announced to the old woman, feeling the truth and rightness of that surname course through her entire body. Han and Leia had felt like parents to her, and Ben...well, Ben Solo was something to her that she didn't have the courage to put a proper name to just yet.

She would, however, admit that they were a dyad in The Force; a bond as strong as life itself. That's what Ben had told her and Palpatine had confirmed, but deep in her bones, Rey had already known that. She and Ben were one in the eyes of The Force, essentially two halves of the same soul.

**Does that make me your soulmate?** Ben quipped, his deep voice echoing in her mind.

**I'm not calling you that,** she thought back, the tiniest of smirks pulling at her lips. **Not yet, anyway.**

**It seems like you just did,** he paused and sent a feeling of warmth and elation through her, **Rey Solo** _._

**Shut up** _ ,  _ she shot back, rolling her eyes. She heard his fading laughter as his presence left her mind.

Ben was dead. She knew that. She had held him tightly in her arms as he died. She mourned him after his body faded away. She lied in the spot where he had vanished for hours crying. She hugged his clothes tightly and sobbed until she was out of tears and left gasping for air. She closed her eyes and inhaled the smell of his shirt until she'd gone nose-blind to his scent. She stayed until Finn and Poe had found her and awakened her from the bittersweet numbness that sleep brought. She cried in her friend's arms the entire trip back to the Resistance's base.

However, she wasn't able to properly grieve for long because Ben had appeared to her the next night once she was alone. She had resigned herself to her quarters after a long bout of convincing Finn that she would be okay by herself and no he didn't need to sleep on the floor by her bed but she was very touched by the offer and _seriously Finn just_ _please leave_. She had given him a long hug before finally shutting the door and collapsing on her bed in exhaustion. 

She'd already lost so many people she loved, but Ben dying was altogether different than the others. Ben's death was something that she felt physically. It felt like her soul had been torn in half. Her body felt hollow. The Force was unbalanced. 

_ She  _ was unbalanced. 

She wasn't sure how long she had lied there, staring blankly at the wall, silent tears running down her cheeks, too tired to even sleep, before she felt him. Her vision refocused and narrowed in on the shape standing in the corner. It was Ben. His skin was tinted a shade of blue and his body was slightly transparent, but it was definitely Ben. 

"I never thanked you," he murmured as he stepped forward. The low tone of his voice that she thought she'd never hear again was like honey to her ears. "You helped me turn back to the Light, my sweet scavenger."

Rey hadn't even paid a shred of attention to his words because she was busy calling his name like it was an answered prayer, jumping up and launching herself at him with her arms open and ready to hug him so tightly he'd never be able to leave her again. 

She had ended up sailing right through him and crashing shoulder-first into the wall across the room. Finn had heard and burst through the door in a panic. After he helped her off the floor, the apparition of Ben was long gone and Rey agreed that maybe she shouldn't be alone after all because she was clearly losing her mind. 

Sometime later, over the roaring symphony of snores coming from where Finn was lying on the floor beside her cot, she heard Ben's voice again. This time it had been in her head, but his presence had been so prevalent and familiar from their old Force chats that she knew she wasn't just imagining it.

**I'm sorry I startled you** _ ,  _ he had whispered softly.  **How is your shoulder?**

**Fine** _ ,  _ she thought back, not sure how to even begin to form questions.  **It feels fine.**

**Don't lie to me, Rey.**

And then she felt the ghost of a sensation on her upper arm, healing and gentle as if someone were manipulating The Force into the shape of a hand and using it to caress where her shoulder had smashed against the wall. 

She had kept her eyes screwed shut, afraid that if she opened them Ben's presence would disappear. Afraid that maybe she might wake up and discover that this moment was a dream.

When her shoulder no longer held any pain, the hand was removed along with the comfort it brought.

**I'm still learning this** , he said softly in her mind.  **I'm not corporeal anymore, but The Force can always be made tangible.**

As if to prove his point, she had felt his plush lips against her forehead; or rather, the feeling of his lips as if they were separated from her skin by cellophane or fabric. He was coating himself in The Force to be able to touch her. 

**I didn't figure this out in time to catch you.** He sounded so regretful.  **I'm sorry, Rey.**

She kept her eyes closed tightly.

**I watched you die** ** _,_** was all she could think to say. **You died. You're** **dead.** She had posed it as a statement, but the little sliver of doubt and hope in her voice had turned it into more of a question. 

**I am, unfortunately** _.  _

She felt the movement of someone climbing onto the bed with her (clearly not Finn, judging by the almost deafening volume his snoring had escalated to.) She felt the pressure of a long body fusing against her back like a spoon and the weight of a muscular arm draping over her securely. Distantly, she wondered if his body was visible again.

**How are you here?** she finally asked.

**We're a dyad, Rey. Even death itself could not keep me from you.** She felt an amused hum against the back of her neck. **Besides, did you really think you could get rid of me that easily?**

**I'd hoped so** _ ,  _ she joked lightly, the barest hint of a smirk ghosting at her lips.

**Oh, ouch** _.  _ He chuckled under his breath and sounded teasing, but he still lessened his hold as if he were making to move away from her.

"Don't!" she accidentally exclaimed aloud. Rey found herself reaching to where his hand should be in an attempt to make him stay and hold her even tighter.  **Don't. Don't go. Please. Don't leave me alone.**

**Never** ** _,_** he promised, pulling her snug against him. **You'll never be alone. Not with me.**

She sighed contentedly in response, inching her body impossibly closer until The Force wrapped around her like a vise. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so safe. 

It would have been perfect if it weren't for the gnawing absence deep in her chest. She was comfortable and secure in his arms, but it was not nearly enough. Ben was still on an entirely different plane of existence and her soul knew it. Her mind could feel him. Her body could feel him. Her spirit, however, couldn't connect to his and that was causing a profound pain in The Force.

_ Unbalanced _ .

**I miss you** _ ,  _ she thought after a short lull. 

**I know** , Ben replied, pressing his lips softly against the nape of her neck and making her shiver.

**I'm going to bring you back,** she thought resolutely. **I'm going to do whatever it takes to bring you back to me.**

**I know that, too.**

More silence. Well, not silence, per se. There was still Finn.

**The traitor is loud** _ ,  _ Ben finally said, causing Rey to actually smile.

**I know.**


	2. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ben Solo,” she grinned, adoration pouring out from her and through their Force connection straight into him. “Ben. My Ben.”
> 
> He stood up, immediately towering over her and looking down with mischievously dark eyes. “Say that again.”
> 
> “Ben,” she smiled brightly.
> 
> He took a step closer so that he was looming over her, close enough that the toes of their boots were touching. “No, the last part.”
> 
> “What? My Ben?” she repeated, looking up at him with her brows raised.
> 
> He nodded, pupils blown wide. "Yours," he promised through their bond, licking his lips wolfishly.

The approaching beeping from BB-8 brought Rey's attention back to the present on Tatooine where the old woman was making her way to the horizon. The droid sounded frantic and annoyed at the same time.

"I got distracted!" she justified. "Besides, she isn't going to be the only person who might know where it is. What? No, I'm not going to chase after her!"

Rey chased after her.

“Excuse me!” she shouted as soon as she was within hearing distance of the woman. She turned around and looked at Rey with the most annoyed expression she had ever seen. “Um. Sorry. I’m so sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if you happened to know a man named Obi-Wan Kenobi? He lived here decades ago. I’m looking for his old home.”

The old woman stared at Rey in silence for longer than was socially acceptable. Rey fidgeted uncomfortably. Finally, she spoke.

“No Obi-Wan, but I once knew of a hermit by the name of Ben Kenobi. He lived on the outskirts of town, right passed the last outpost.”

Without another word, she turned and left Rey, who called out a quick “thank you” after her.

“Ben Kenobi?” she repeated, feeling Ben Solo’s presence appear behind her. "Did Master Kenobi use Ben as an alias?"

“Ah, yeah,” he sighed, his Force ghost walking into Rey’s field of vision. “My mother, father, and even Uncle Luke all insisted I be named after him. I used to hate it. After all, he defeated Darth Vader. He maimed him and left him for dead.”

Rey bristled at the mere name of Ben's grandfather. At the name of Kylo Ren’s idol. She absolutely hated hearing it, especially coming from Ben.

“Don’t worry,” his voice was reassuring while he crouched down to pick up a rock, examining the rubble of Luke’s old home with a blank fascination. “I like the name Ben now," he promised, misreading the source of her sudden unease. Still, it calmed her just hearing him verbally denounce Kylo Ren. "At least I like it when you call me Ben. I like the way it sounds when you say it.”

“Ben Solo,” she grinned, adoration pouring out from her and through their Force connection straight into him. “Ben. _My Ben._ ”

He stood up, immediately towering over her and looking down with mischievously dark eyes. “Say that again.”

“Ben,” she smiled brightly.

He took a step closer so that he was looming over her, close enough that the toes of their boots were touching. “No, the last part.”

“What? My Ben?” she repeated, looking up at him with her brows raised.

He nodded, pupils blown wide. **Yours,** he promised through their bond, licking his lips wolfishly.

The primal part of her brain instantly reverted back to her scavenger days, and Ben was a treasure worth a million portions and was something that required the fiercest protection. 

Rey didn’t share her bounty. 

“My Ben. My Ben and no one else’s. Mine. All mine.” 

He lifted her chin and leaned in close enough that their lips were almost touching. Or rather, her lips were close to brushing against the Force barrier that surrounded him. 

“Again,” he growled.

“My B-” she started, but was cut off by the sensation of his mouth crashing against her, her head pushing back from the sheer force of the impact. 

That day on Exegol, Ben had been her first kiss. Her only kiss. This one was...different. Even as she kissed back, all she felt was pressure against her mouth. Could this even be considered a kiss?

 **Thanks a lot** , he said sarcastically through The Force, keeping his lips softly pressed against hers. Apparently she was projecting her thoughts...or perhaps their bond was just more open during physical contact. 

**Skin** , she thought back as she finally returned the kiss in earnest, silencing his misplaced insecurities. **I wish I could feel your skin. Your warmth.** She pulled away to catch her breath, resting her forehead against his and inviting him into her mind to see her honesty. **Kissing you in and of itself is wonderful.**

"You're wonderful," Rey said aloud to really drive her point home.

"Like you'd know any different," he breathed out in a laugh. Clearly he'd also caught her thought about Exegol being her first kiss. "...it was mine too," he admitted shyly.

"Liar." She forced a laugh. "You expect me to believe that Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has never even kissed a girl, let alone anything else?"

Ben suddenly caressed the back of her neck and pressed their foreheads together a bit more forcefully. He shoved his mind out at her and paraded the truth behind her eyes. She saw memories of his parents fighting during his adolescence, with him hiding in his room with a pillow over his ears, too stressed out to even think about girls. He showed himself being sent away to Luke's Jedi school as soon as he hit puberty, where love was a forbidden attachment. He went from there straight into Snoke's clutches, where overly harsh training and violent punishment took up all of his time and energy. By then, all of his thoughts and desires focused on power...at that time, at least.

"After Snoke?" she pressed. "Surely women threw themselves at the new Supreme Leader."

His thoughts turned almost...bashful?

His visions started hitting her like a ship jumping into lightspeed. Oh, women tried. Many women tried. He didn't care. All he could think about was Rey. An entire year passed by and all of his thoughts were consumed by her. His mind kept replaying images of their first meeting on Takodana, of how right she felt in his arms after he swept her off of her feet. Memories of their first fight, of her standing over him on Ilum after inflicting his nasty scar, looking so powerful and alluring that he hardly felt the pain. Of the electricity that coursed through his body when their fingers touched in the hut on Ahch-To, rewiring his brain and upending his entire worldview. Of the elevator ride aboard the Supremacy, and how badly he wanted to press his lips to hers and then run away together, far enough that neither The Resistance or The First Order could ever find them. A memory she wasn't a part of, where he was lying in his bed with silent tears running down his face, whispering her name like his life depended on it-

Ben jumped away suddenly, eyes wide and face cartoonishly horrified. Clearly he had not meant to show her that last memory; he had not meant to show her just how lonely and broken he was after her rejection in Snoke's throne room -- after she closed herself off from their bond. She had put that wall up out of fear that Kylo Ren would keep tempting her to take his hand and join the Dark Side, and Rey didn't trust herself to keep refusing. 

But that memory, that was Ben Solo. That was Ben crying her name, desperate to connect with her through The Force. Her Ben had needed her and she had blocked him out. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Ben," she choked, "I'm so sorry."

"It was my own fault," he shrugged in an attempt to dismiss the pain. "I don't blame you."

"But you should blame me," she whispered. "I promised you that you weren't alone, and then I abandoned you anyway."

He swallowed hard, averting his eyes. "We should really get going if we're going to make it there before dar-"

Ben vanished before he could finish his sentence. Rey sighed in disappointment. This happened far too often; physically manifesting always required a lot of effort and became even more difficult when his emotions were heightened. Sometimes she would go days without seeing or even hearing him. 

She looked down at Poe's droid with a sad glint in her eyes. "Well Beebee, I suppose we better head towards Master Kenobi's old homestead now."


	3. Dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Darth Sidious tempted my father with promises of protecting my mother. He told Anakin that he could learn the ways of the Dark Side and use it to keep her from dying - that the Dark Side had ways around death."
> 
> "Did it work?" Rey asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 
> 
> She hoped Leia would mistake her curiosity as simple active listening, instead of knowing that Rey was unexpectedly hearing a dirty little voice buried in her head that was shouting at her to save Ben at all costs.
> 
> Save Ben at any cost.

"Be with me," Rey whispered in meditation.

Despite the obvious signs of looting, Master Kenobi's home remained largely untouched. Any valuables were long gone, but shelves and shelves of books persisted under years of dust and sand. There had to be some sort of information about Dyads or resurrection somewhere in those pages, but Rey had no idea where to even start.

"Be with me," she repeated, hoping to contact Obi-Wan himself.

"He won't come to you," came a familiar aged voice. Rey opened her eyes to see Leia's Force ghost a few feet away casually flipping through the pages of a random book. "He thinks it's a bad idea."

"Why?" Rey gritted her teeth in anger. "Ben deserves to live. We both know it wasn't his time."

"Calm down," Leia waved her hand dismissively. "He doesn't argue with that. He just refuses to help because he believes resurrection is inherently Dark."

"Ben Solo is redeemed," Rey insisted. "He returned to the Light. How could saving him possibly be considered Dark?"

"Rey, do you know why my father fell to the Dark Side?" Leia questioned.

"Power?" Rey guessed. "Isn't that how most people are drawn to the Dark Side?"

"No, not originally." She shook her head and set the book down. "He had a vision of my mother dying in childbirth. He loved her more than anything else in the world, and he was willing to do anything to save her - and I mean  _ anything _ . Your grandfather Sheev Palpatine-"

"He is  _ not _ my grandfather," Rey interrupted, practically grinding her teeth into dust.

Leia rolled her eyes at the young Jedi. "Rey, you should never ever forget your past. Renounce him all you want, but you are still his blood. And look at yourself! You've grown into such a powerful woman! You could overwrite any of the negative connotations of that surname if you wanted to do so. However….Rey Solo does have a very nice ring to it," she smiled knowingly.

"You heard that?" Rey blushed.

"Please, Ben was telling everyone on the other side."

Rey's face was practically crimson, even burning the tips of her ears.

Leia placed her hand on Rey's shoulder. "Just so you know, I would be honored to have you as a daughter-in-law."

"General!" Rey gasped and turned away, completely mortified. She had only kissed Ben  _ twice _ and Leia was already trying to marry them off. 

"Sorry, sorry, I got sidetracked. Where was I? Ah yes, acknowledge your past, because it brought you to where you are. Do not diminish your accomplishments like that."

Rey could only nod in understanding. Leia always had wisdom to share. "So what were you saying about Vader?"

"Oh Force, that's right. Anyway, Darth Sidious tempted my father with promises of protecting my mother. He told Anakin that he could learn the ways of the Dark Side and use it to keep her from dying - that the Dark Side had ways around death."

"Did it work?" Rey asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

She hoped Leia would mistake her curiosity as simple active listening, instead of knowing that Rey was unexpectedly hearing a dirty little voice buried in her head that was shouting at her to save Ben at all costs.

Save Ben  _ at any cost. _

"Actually, the opposite," Leia said, unphased. "The Dark twisted my father into a power-crazed monster. Him turning to the Dark Side broke my mother's heart, and when Luke and I were born, she just...gave up."

"So...he killed her?" Rey murmured. 

"Essentially, yes," Leia answered. "And Obi-Wan was there every step of the way, watching helplessly. He won't help us save Ben."

"Us?" Rey grinned at the prospect of help, despite the grim story.

"Of course I'm going to help you." She began rummaging through more books. "I sacrificed my life to bring my son back to the Light. What was the point if he went and died so quickly? Now come on, pick up a book and start reading. We have a lot of information to sift through."

Rey nodded and went into the shelf across the room from Leia. She looked over the nameless leather-bound spines and sighed. This was going to be tedious. 

She lifted her hand to the first book on the shelf but was suddenly struck by a pulse in The Force, feeling a magnetizing pull to a bundle of texts on a row above her. It called to her with overlapping and almost unintelligible whispers, promising that it had answers. 

She reached for it without a second thought. The instant her fingers made contact with the book, she felt dirty. 

This was wrong. 

This was Dark. 

This could bring Ben back.

"How are you doing over there?" Leia called out, no doubt feeling the small shift in The Force.

"Fine!" Rey said quickly, shoving the forbidden texts into her pack before the general could see. "Haven't found anything yet."

"Well, we'll keep looking," Leia commented with a wary glance in her direction. Rey flashed her the best nonchalant smile that she could muster. 

She felt  _ so dirty _ .

The rest of the day was spent pouring over pages and pages of Jedi research. Leia came and went, exhausting and conserving her energy in shifts. By sundown she shifted into her mother mode and insisted that Rey stop her search and get some dinner and rest. Rey hated to agree, but her eyes were blurry and her stomach was growling.

"May The Force be with you," Leia said warmly as she disappeared for the night. 

Rey found the bedroom and discovered that the mattress was thankfully clean underneath the dusty blanket, which only took a few good shakes before she deemed it to be usable. She climbed onto the bed and began to dig through her bag in search of the bread and Eopie jerky that she'd purchased on the way there. She felt a shock of energy on her skin when her fingers brushed against the book she'd all but forgotten about.

"Might as well take a peek," she murmured to herself. "No harm in just looking." 

She knew she was only trying to justify her actions, but she took a bite of her jerky and opened the book anyway, ignoring the contradicting whispers repeating the same words in her mind:

_ Dirty. _

_ Wrong. _

_ Dark. _

_ Answers. _

_ Ben. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter gets a little bit Darker (ahem) but again I promise a happy ending 🥰 also I thrive on comments and even a small comment makes my whole day, just saying 😘


	4. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally, the most difficult requirement:  
> A sacrifice of a life must be made
> 
> Rey would die for him. She would bring him back at any cost. Check.
> 
> "What's the point then?" the dirty voice in the back of her head whispered. It wasn't Ben's voice. It wasn't Palpatine's voice. It didn't belong to any Sith.
> 
> The voice was her own. It was her own Darkness, and it had been whispering to her all night. 

She found answers.

It seemed doable, in theory. The text described a ritual to bring back the dead with surprisingly few requirements.

  * _The dead must already be one with The Force_



Ben's body had vanished and now he was a Force ghost. Check.

  * _You must have a personal item of the dead_



Rey still carried Ben's shirt in her bag like a child's security blanket. Check.

  * _You must have an item from the dead's past_



Han's dice, which he told her Ben used to play with like a baby rattle. Rey could easily borrow them from Chewie. Check.

  * _The ritual must take place where the dead assimilated into The Force_



She could find her way back to Exegol if she had to. Check.

And finally, the most difficult requirement:

  * _A sacrifice of a life must be made_



Rey would die for him. She would bring him back at any cost. Check.

 **What's the point then?** the dirty voice in the back of her head whispered. It wasn't Ben's voice. It wasn't Palpatine's voice. It didn't belong to any Sith.

The voice was her own. It was her own Darkness, and it had been whispering to her all night. 

**Oh for kriff's sake, shut up** **,** she thought back.

**Do we really want to leave him? Do we really want to transfer all of this pain and emptiness we feel to him?**

**Of course not. I don't want to hurt him.**

**The sacrifice does not have to be us.**

Rey threw up a shield in her mind to block that Dark voice. 

It didn't block out _all_ of the Dark thoughts, however. They plagued her. They haunted her for hours.

And okay, it’s not like Rey hadn’t killed people before. She had a hand in the decimation of entire factions in The First Order. She’d shot down countless ships of Stormtroopers - most of whom were brainwashed people like Finn had once been. She usually kept that guilt buried in the back of her mind with her inner Darkness, but now it was leaking like a cracked dam.

 **Should we feel guilty, though?** The voice slipped through that same crack. **It was war. It was them or us. The entire Resistance is responsible for these same deaths, and barely anyone else gives it a second thought.**

 **You don’t know that,** Rey thought back, refusing to acknowledge this Darkness as part of her - as a “we.”

**Yes, we do. They all celebrated while we were grieving. They didn't feel guilty, and they didn't give a damn about us losing everything.**

**They supported me. They care about me.**

**Is that why we're on this Force-forsaken planet alone? Just admit it. We're hiding from them. We can't stand being around them.**

**That's not why! And they do care! If they knew that I’m still in pain, they would be here in a heartbeat.**

**Would they? Then why haven’t we told them?**

Rey’s mind went blank and she realized she didn’t have a good answer, other than yeah, she couldn't stand to be around all of that happiness. She pulled the blanket over her face as if maybe she could hide from her own thoughts. **This is something I have to do alone.**

**Face it. You don't want to be around them, and they wouldn’t care anyway. We are nobody from nowhere, and they have all moved on. They’re all happy. Just look at Finn.**

**Shut. Up.**

**He and Poe are living so peacefully together. They’re so happy it’s sickening.**

**I’m happy for them.**

**But we’re envious of them, too. They have each other, and we have no one; Ben is dead and we're so jealous of them it hurts.**

**So what if I am?** Rey admitted, scowling as she sat up in bed. **So what if I am jealous? I’m still happy for them. They deserve it.**

 **We deserve it more,** her Dark voice argued back. **We defeated Palpatine. We saved the entire galaxy. All those years alone on Jakku, and we finally found a connection that felt like home.** **_A Dyad_ ** **. We found Ben and we were One, finally feeling whole. What kind of cruel universe just rips that away from us - lets us have that peace and happiness for** **_five kriffing minutes_ ** **and then makes us watch the smile fade from his face and his body go limp in our arms while we can still taste his blood on our lips-**

“STOP!!!” Rey shrieked with her hands on either side of her head, unintentionally Force-pushing everything in the room around her. The voice disappeared, but not without leaving a single sentence repeated in whispers:

_One more death, and then peace._

She was still thinking about it by first light. At some point during the night she had gotten up and cleaned the mess she’d made during her little episode, hoping that moving the furniture (without using The Force to help) would tire her out enough to sleep. It didn’t work.

Nothing worked.

Stars, how her (half of a) soul ached without him. The physical pain was nearly unbearable. She tried to meditate. She tried to reach out with The Force, hoping to calm her enough to fall asleep.

All she felt was Darkness.

Then the faintest echo of Ben. His Force signature became so diluted after he passed. Rey quickly blocked up more flimsy walls around the Darkness in an attempt to hide it from Ben. She felt him brush against the shields but he made no attempt to fight against them. He respected her privacy and blessedly didn't mention it. 

"Rey, you feel so tired. Have you slept at all?"

"My mind won't quiet long enough," she admitted.

He lied down in front of her and pulled her tightly against his chest, resting his chin atop the crown of her head. “What’s wrong?”

“I miss you,” she answered, bursting into tears. It wasn’t exactly a lie; it was the reason that she was so conflicted in the first place.

“I’m here,” he cooed, placing light kisses everywhere - her hair, ear, forehead, every place he could reach without loosening his hold on her. “I’m right here, sweetheart.”

“You’re not,” she argued, her words muffled by his broad chest.

“I will be,” he promised. “We’ll find a way. _You_ will find a way.”

_Maybe she already had…_

Rey shoved that thought away before Ben even had a chance to catch it. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, eventually finding a rhythm that stopped the tears. He lightly traced his fingers up and down her back while sending calm energy through the bond.

She fell asleep in no time.


	5. Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There’s no going back. You’ll always be marred by that Darkness.”
> 
> “I don’t-" she pulled her hand away to wipe away the tears that were steadily streaming down her face, “-I don’t care anymore. I need you back. I need you back at any cost.”
> 
> “I’m not worth this,” he said sadly. “You could have a normal life. You could just forget about me. You could move on, Rey. You should move on.”
> 
> “Don’t say that. You are everything to me. We’re a kriffing Dyad, for Force’s sake. I would give anything to feel you really in my arms again. You are worth everything.”
> 
> “Not this,” he choked.
> 
> Rey was done arguing.

"I have to do it!” Rey argued with the hooded woman. They stood a sabers distance apart in the ruins of the Death Star, but neither one of them had their weapons drawn; their words were weapons in and of themselves.

“You don’t _have_ to,” came Rey’s own voice from the Sith woman’s dark red lips. “You _want_ to do it,” she spat, the words dripping in venomous satisfaction. “Admit it to yourself and I’ll leave.”

“I don’t want to do it,” Rey choked. When had she started crying? “But I need him back! I can’t handle this pain!”

The Dark Rey stepped closer and smiled, extending her dual lightsaber in an offering. “Then take this. You’ll need it.”

Rey reached out with a shaky hand, fingers trembling as they slowly reached for the Sith weapon. Just before making contact, she heard his voice.

“Don’t do this, Rey,” Ben murmured, his voice tight with emotion. She whipped around to face him and suddenly they were alone in Snoke’s throne room. Fiery ashes fluttered around them and she watched as the Resistance ships were being destroyed through the window behind him. “Please don’t go this way.” His eyes were glossy with tears and his voice shook on the last syllable.

“No, no,” the words were wrenched from her throat without conscious effort, “you’re still holding on! Let go!”

Rey awoke in a cold sweat, jolting upright in a foreign bed.

“What what?!” Ben’s ghost sat up with her, kneeling in front of her and reaching out to assess if she was physically okay. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” he asked in a more calming voice, sensing no immediate danger.

“Where am I?” she mumbled groggily, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. Maybe if she applied enough pressure she could wipe away the memories of her nightmare.

“Obi-Wan’s.” He reached out to still her wrists and look into her eyes. “You usually don’t have nightmares when I hold you, but all of a sudden you screamed at me to let you go. What happened?”

Rey’s gaze automatically flicked to the book on the nightstand before she could stop herself. Ben’s eyes immediately followed and then widened when they once again met hers.

“What is that, Rey?” he swallowed thickly.

“Nothing,” she answered far too fast. He raised an eyebrow and she sighed. She should know better than to try and lie to the other half of her Dyad. “It’s research.”

“It’s Dark research,” Ben corrected, no doubt feeling the energy that started emanating from the pages as soon as she looked at it.

“It has answers. To bring you back. There’s a…” Rey looked down, unable to maintain eye contact. “...there’s a ritual I could perform. A ritual to transfer lifeforce.”

“You can’t give enough lifeforce to revive me without killing yourself,” he said obviously, disgustedly...shamefully?

Rey peered up at him through her lashes. “Not _my_ lifeforce.”

The realization of what she was saying took a few seconds to set in. As soon as he understood the gravity of what she meant, he was muttering “no no no nonono” and shaking his head almost violently. “How can you even suggest that?! After everything we’ve been through, how can you possibly consider taking a life like that?!”

“So many people have died already, Ben.” She was crying again. “What’s one more? One more death, and then peace.” Her hand lifted to caress his cheek. “We deserve peace.”

“Not this way,” he whispered, leaning his face into her palm. “Self-defense is one thing, but once you kill someone for any other reason, there’s no going back. You’ll always be marred by that Darkness.”

“I don’t-" she pulled her hand away to wipe away the tears that were steadily streaming down her face, “-I don’t care anymore. I need you back. I need you back at any cost.”

“I’m not worth this,” he said sadly. “You could have a normal life. You could just forget about me. You could move on, Rey. You _should_ move on.”

“Don’t say that. You are everything to me. We’re a kriffing Dyad, for Force’s sake. I would give anything to feel you really in my arms again. You are worth _everything_.”

“Not this,” he choked.

Rey was done arguing. "All I can feel is your absence. That is the only thing that I can feel, Ben. It's unbearable Darkness. There is no balance. I reach out with The Force and all I can feel is nothing. No, it’s worse than nothing. I feel a void, a black hole. How do I even begin to fight against a black hole? The absence of you is just an all-consuming void that swallows all of the Light and it’s pulling me in, Ben! Don’t you dare sit there and try and tell me not to do the one thing that will fix this! You are half of my soul and you are _missing!_ You can’t possibly know how this feels!"

"You died, Rey!" he exploded, unable to hold in the truth any longer. The words tasted like bile on his tongue and he instantly wished he could take them back - take the words out of the air and swallow them before they ever reached her ears.

The sudden outburst stopped her anger in its tracks. "What are you talking about?"

Ben looked down for several seconds, as if choosing his next words very carefully. This secret would hurt Rey and he knew it. He felt the shame of it deep in his soul, carving a hole in the pit of his stomach. He swallowed and closed his eyes, bracing himself. "I know exactly how you feel right now, because Palpatine killed you."

"No he didn't!" she scoffed, disbelief lighting up her eyes. "Palpatine killed _you_ , Ben. The Jedi were all with me, in me, strengthened me, and together we defeated him!"

"What happened next, Rey?" he asked calmly.

"I must have blacked out. The next thing I remember was waking up in your arms."

"You were dead, Rey." Oh, she was going to hate him; she was going to hate him for willingly leaving her. "The Jedi used your body as a weapon and left you to die." He put his hands in his hair, emotion choking his voice at the mere memory. "You were _so cold_ and all I could think of was that _it should have been me_ and I just," he sobbed, unable to even finish his sentence.

"Oh Ben," Rey murmured, her voice cracking, "what have you done?"

"It should have been me," he repeated quietly, eyes flooded with tears. “Please. Don’t do this. I gave you my life for a reason. I believe in you more than anything else in the entire galaxy. You don’t need to succumb to the Dark Side because of me. There has to be another way. Please, Rey.”

She let out a sob and threw her arms around the shape of him, sensing The Force thicken where she touched. She buried her face into his neck, feeling one arm wrap tightly around her waist while a feather-light finger brushed her tears away. She looked up at him, staring deeply into Ben’s eyes. There was not a single shred of Kylo Ren in his face anymore. He gave her a very small smile and raised his brows, silently showing her so much support and security and safety and love. 

_Love_. She suddenly realized exactly what she felt for him and what he meant to her.

“Ben, I love you.”

She didn’t give him time to respond before she lunged upward and crashed her lips to his and moved her hands to his face and the nape of his neck. She felt him eagerly kiss back as she climbed into his lap, but this wasn’t nearly enough. There wasn’t enough sensation. All she could feel was the pressure from The Force. She couldn’t feel the warmth of his skin. She couldn’t tangle her fingers in his hair. She couldn’t taste his lips. 

She needed him alive. 

Another sob wracked her body and she folded in on herself against his chest as he wrapped himself around her protectively. 

“I love you too, Rey,” he murmured softly into the crown of her hair, his presence beginning to flicker out. “I believe in you.”

She would find another way to bring him back. 

_She would._


	6. Dim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Look around you, Rey.”
> 
> She did, still keeping her eyes shut. “Wait, I see something. There’s a light. It’s so far away. It’s very dim.”
> 
> “What else do you see?”
> 
> She turned her head to the opposite side, a grin sprouting across her face as she breathed out, “Ben!”
> 
> “What is Ben doing?”
> 
> “It’s dark; almost pitch black. Cold. Ben is alive, though. He’s sitting on a throne. He’s calling for me. He promises that I won't hurt anymore.”
> 
> “What do you want to do?”

Rey ended up giving the forbidden texts to Luke and Leia. The Skywalker twins had spent decades fighting for the Light and learning the ways of The Force and The Jedi; if anyone could find a righteous solution in those pages without being seduced, it was them. She still researched, of course; she just never did it alone, and never that book. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust herself, but she and Ben agreed that temptation should be avoided while he helped her learn to control her Darkness. Ben was wearing himself out, trying to be there every waking moment - and non-waking moment, because of nightmares - that she didn’t have his mother or uncle with her. He began teaching her more ways of meditation and more ways of resisting Dark thoughts. Luke had taught her to ignore those feelings, but that was easy for someone like him.

Luke never heard voices.

Luke never became tempted in order to save someone he loved.

Luke never gave in to the Dark, and thus he never had to renounce it.

Luke couldn’t help Rey with this, and Ben was running himself ragged doing it alone. Luckily, there was one other soul who could help her.

“You can’t ignore the Dark thoughts,” the Force ghost in front of her taught. “Ignoring them gives them power over you. You need to acknowledge your emotions, honor them, and release them. You can’t simply hide them behind shields and let them fester. Think of it this way: when you were on Ahch-To with Luke, did you observe the porgs and their habitat in the creeks?”

“Somewhat,” Rey nodded.

“They would construct walls in the smaller areas of water to keep the ocean tides out and protect their nests. Dark thoughts are similar to the ocean here. What happens when it rains too hard and the floods become violent?”

“The dam breaks,” she whispered, thinking back to the night she found the forbidden texts. “That’s very helpful, Master Skywalker.”

“You know,” he frowned, “I never actually earned the title of Jedi Master.”

“Oh. Well what shall I call you?” Rey smiled teasingly. “Impersonator? You’ve been letting me address you with that title for weeks now.”

She could see a lot of Ben in him; in the way his hair curled around his ears and grazed his shoulders, in the way his eyes showed more emotion than the rest of his features, even down to the scar on the right side of his face that almost perfectly matched the one she'd given Ben so long ago.

Oh, and they were both cocky. Infuriatingly cocky.

He drew his brows down and unexpectedly smirked. "You know, you actually kind of remind me of my wife." 

"How so?"

"She was the smartest, kindest, fiercest, most capable person I've ever met. She also didn't put up with any of my bantha shit, which tends to run in the Skywalker men's bloodline. I've seen you put Ben in his place many times."

"She sounds like Leia," Rey smiled wistfully. "I would have liked to meet her."

"Leia absolutely took after her mother, thank Force. Padmé would have loved you both." An ancient regret sparked in his eyes. He looked down for several moments in silence before glancing back up with a mask of false bravado. “And you can call me anything but Vader.”

Rey gave him her warmest smile, recognizing that expression that Ben wore far too often. “If you’re opposed to Master Skywalker, then I’ll simply call you Anakin.” 

“Anakin sounds good,” he agreed, one side of his mouth turning upwards. “Okay, back to work. It’s time for another exercise. Find your center.”

Rey crossed her legs, closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths, and tried to clear her mind.

“Focus on my voice,” Anakin instructed softly. “Reach out.”

Pain.  _ Agony.  _ Grief.  _ Anguish.  _ Loneliness.  _ Desolation. _

_ Darkness. _

“It hurts,” she whimpered through her gritted teeth, her body shaking from the effort to stay in that space.

“Tell me what you see.”

“There’s nothing. Just misery.”

“Look around you, Rey.”

She did, still keeping her eyes shut. “Wait, I see something. There’s a light. It’s so far away. It’s very dim.”

“What else do you see?”

She turned her head to the opposite side, a grin sprouting across her face as she breathed out, “Ben!”

“What is Ben doing?”

“It’s dark; almost pitch black. Cold. Ben is alive, though. He’s sitting on a throne. He’s calling for me. He promises that I won't hurt anymore.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to run to him, more than I've ever wanted anything else. I want to climb into his lap and be at his side. We could have it all,  _ together _ . We could be happy.”

“And what  _ are _ you doing?”

“I’m standing still.”

“Why, Rey?”

“Because...it’s not right.”

“How so?”

Her brows furrowed. “Because he’s...he’s not my Ben. He’s wrong. He’s...he’s Kylo Ren.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m turning away. I’m walking towards that faraway light. I can barely see it, though.”

“Then how do you know you’re going the right way?” Anakin wondered, almost as if he already knew her answer.

“I can feel its warmth, stronger with every step.”

“Are you still in pain?”

“Yes, but…” She trailed off, concentrating. 

“But what?”

“It hurts, but I’m stronger than it. I can still move forward in spite of it.”

“That is the lesson. Come back now, Rey.”

She opened her eyes and let herself drop back down from the few inches she was levitating. Anakin was smiling in satisfaction, and standing next to him was Ben, who was positively beaming with pride.

“How long have you been here watching?” Rey asked as he offered his hand. She took it and he helped her to her feet.

“Honestly? I was here for most of it. You did great, sweetheart.”

Anakin audibly clasped his hands together with a mischievous grin. “Well, now that we’re done with today’s lesson, and now that you’re here, Ben, let’s go inside. I do believe my children have found something  _ very _ important that you’ll want to hear.”

“And you waited until just now to say something?” Rey all but shouted. 

“I had to make sure you were ready.” Anakin shrugged smugly before turning and making his way towards the Falcon.


	7. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We found another ritual,” Luke said. “It’s fairly similar to the Dark one Rey found, except this one is strictly using the Light Side of The Force. This only works to resurrect half of a Dyad, so we got lucky. Well, not exactly lucky…”

Once they were aboard the Falcon, Ben and Rey were instructed to sit down while Luke and Leia stood in front of them. Anakin took his place between his children, hanging slightly behind them. Ben seemed every bit as anxious as Rey, so she took his hand in between them and started rubbing soothing circles with her thumb. He gripped her hand softly in return and then they were both sending each other comforting energy through the bond. They looked at each other and giggled once they realized they were both trying to calm the other. 

Luke cleared his throat and regained their attention.

“So…” Rey began.

“...You found something?” Ben finished.

Luke looked uncomfortable. Almost...unhappy? “...Yes and no.”

Leia groaned and rolled her eyes. “Yes we did. There is no ‘and no’ about this.”

Anakin stepped in between them and placed a hand on his son’s shoulder and gave him a meaningful look. They shared a silent exchange and Luke solemnly nodded in acceptance.

“We found another ritual,” Luke said. “It’s fairly similar to the Dark one Rey found, except this one is strictly using the Light Side of The Force. This only works to resurrect half of a Dyad, so we got lucky. Well, not exactly _lucky_ …”

“Yes, _lucky_ ,” Leia interjected.

“There has to be another way!” Luke begged.

Anakin lightly squeezed where his hand was still resting on Luke’s shoulder. “This is the only way, my son.”

“What’s the catch?” Rey finally asked. Ben stayed quiet and somber, somehow already understanding the subtext of his family’s exchange.

“Well, this one still needs a sacrifice. A _willing_ sacrifice,” Leia said.

Rey deflated. “There is not a single soul that would be willing to sacrifice their life for Kylo Ren, aside from me.” She looked over at Ben, who was staring glassy-eyed at his mother while emotions came off of him in waves.

Sorrow.

Acceptance.

Gratitude.

“Well,” Leia pulled her gaze away from her son and turned it to Rey, “there is a loophole we found, regarding types of lifeforce.”

Rey looked across all of their solemn faces in confusion before she was finally hit with understanding. Her eyes widened and watered.

“Leia, no,” she whispered.

“Yes, Rey.” Leia smiled sadly. “I sacrificed my life once to bring him back to the Light. Ben, I failed you enough already. I would die over and over again to give you a better life. You deserve happiness. You both do."

“What will happen to you?” Ben’s voice was so tight with emotion that Rey almost didn’t hear it.

Leia looked at her brother and father before shrugging. “Where does everyone else go when they die, if they don’t become one with The Force? There has to be another afterlife.” She looked down and smirked. “And who knows? Maybe when I get there, Han and I can give things another go.”

Luke interrupted with a sigh. “There’s another catch. One Force life is not equal to the lifeforce of someone alive; you’ll need two.”

“Luke,” Rey whined.

“Not Luke,” Anakin said, taking a few paces forward. “Me.”

Ben cocked his head in surprise. “What?”

“I’m doing this for myself as well,” he said, almost wistfully. “Wherever we end up, Padmé will be there. I owe her the galaxy’s biggest apology. I would give anything to spend eternity making up to her for my many mistakes.”

Rey wiped her tears and swallowed thickly. “So. What do we need to do?”

"We have all the preparations regarding the ritual handled," Anakin promised. "As for after the resurrection, you'll need a safe place to lay low for a while, since Ben is still going to be wanted for war crimes. Rey, with your status and connections in the new Republic, I'm confident that you will be able to get a galactic pardon for him eventually. In the meantime, we assumed that the two of you would like some peace and time alone to relax and figure things out."

"Hmm," Rey frowned in concentration, turning to Ben. "Can you think of any places where you won't be recognized? I would love to stay somewhere green," she smiled.

Anakin smirked proudly and rocked back on his heels. "Actually, I have that covered as well. There is a Mid Rim planet near the border of the Outer Rim Territories named Naboo - which I promise you, Rey, is incredibly green. On Naboo there's an isolated area known as the Lake Country where Padmé's family had a private retreat on an island called Varykino. She and I hid out there when a bounty hunter was after her. It's also where we were married and planned to raise Luke and Leia." He looked to his children and offered them an apologetic half-smile. This time it was their turn to place their hands on his shoulders in comfort. Once he regained his composure, he looked back to Rey and Ben. "The sole caretaker passed away decades ago, so the castle will need some cleaning and most likely a few repairs. Otherwise, the entire island is completely vacant and yours for as long as you'd like."

Rey and Ben locked gazes for an infinite moment, letting emotions that they couldn't voice aloud flood through their bond. They beamed at each other, their grins every bit as big and genuine as they had been in that shared moment on Exegol, except this time they wouldn’t be as fleeting.

They had a _plan._

They had a _home._

_Ben was coming back._


	8. Naboo (pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And I thought Ajan Kloss was beautiful," she whispered to herself when the Falcon entered the planet's atmosphere, comparing it to the former Resistance base. Even her reaction when Han first took her to Takodana couldn't compare to the wonder that filled her as she drank in the sight of her new home.
> 
> "I know," Anakin agreed reverently from the co-pilot's seat. "Almost all of my happiest moments happened here."
> 
> "I can feel it," she nodded. "There is so much joy in The Force here. It's like an imprint; an echo. It's magnificent."

All of the photographs and holovids in the galaxy could not have prepared Rey for seeing the beauty of Naboo. 

She gazed in awe at the rolling hills of green reaching out towards the horizon, stretching out as far as she could see. There was a plethora of bubbling waterfalls cascading down and splashing into a wide expanse of water, just beckoning Rey to come swim until she forgot the pain of the arid Jakku sand whipping against her skin. She was hypnotized by the melody sung by the flocks of animals she didn't recognize that flew through the air, occasionally swooping low and skimming across the lakes as gently as a child skipping a rock.

"And I thought Ajan Kloss was beautiful," she whispered to herself when the Falcon entered the planet's atmosphere, comparing it to the former Resistance base. Even her reaction when Han first took her to Takodana couldn't compare to the wonder that filled her as she drank in the sight of her new home.

"I know," Anakin agreed reverently from the co-pilot's seat. "Almost all of my happiest moments happened here."

"I can feel it," she nodded. "There is so much joy in The Force here. It's like an imprint; an echo. It's magnificent."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit, Anakin only speaking to give Rey directions to Varykino. Ben, Leia, and Luke were somewhere on the other side of The Force, spending time together while they still could. 

"Hey, Rey?" Anakin started hesitantly. 

"Hmm?" she answered back, still focusing most of her attention on finding a vacant field on Varykino to land on.

"I, uh, wanted to thank you."

"For what?" 

"There's a few things, actually." He spoke almost lazily, as if trying to fake an air of nonchalance. "For one, you've been nothing but kind to me. I was fully prepared for the last Jedi to despise being in my presence, much less let me help train her. I'm responsible for so much misery in this galaxy. I've cursed my family for generations. I caused Ben to go through so much pain and hardship. I can't imagine how much you must loathe me."

Rey chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't loathe  _ you _ , Anakin. I hate  _ Darth Vader _ with every fiber of my being...I also hate  _ Kylo Ren _ the same; but neither of those monsters exist anymore. I see you and Ben both trying so hard to redeem yourselves for your mistakes….and besides, I know it wasn't all you. I know that my...my grandfather seduced you to the Dark Side - you and Ben both. Leia told me what he promised you, and you already know that the Darkness promised me the same thing. If I didn't have Ben to talk me down...if I didn't have the both of you to help me learn how to fight against it...Anakin, I would have burned down half of the galaxy if that's what it took to bring your grandson back to me." 

He stayed quiet for a few moments, contemplating.

"Actually, that's the biggest thing I wanted to thank you for," he finally said. "I wanted to thank you for bringing Ben back to the Light. You were able to undo what I did to him. You managed to pull the Darkness out of his heart and replace it with love and Light. You saved him, Rey. There are not enough words in every language in the galaxy combined that can express how grateful I am to you for that."

"I appreciate that, Anakin," she said softly, "but I didn't save Ben; Ben saved himself."

He shook his head in response and leaned towards her. "You helped him, though. You saw the good in him. You knew that he would turn when even his own family had given up on him. When the entire universe saw Kylo Ren," he poked his finger over her heart and looked pointedly into her eyes, " _ you _ saw Ben Solo."

Rey studied those thoughts for a moment while he relaxed back in his chair. She finally found an open area near the castle that didn't have any animals lingering around and she prepared the Falcon for a landing. "I suppose you're right."

"Right about what?" Ben asked, suddenly manifesting behind them.

"Oh, nothing," she smirked. "Anakin was just commenting on how big of a nerfherder you are."

"And she agreed with me," he said, pointing at Rey accusingly.

"Hilarious," Ben deadpanned. He quickly became distracted by the view and was out the door before Rey even finished the shut down sequence. 

When Rey eventually stepped out of the ship, she practically flew down the ramp in order to get to Ben. He stood in the middle of the field, surrounded by grass and flowers that grew as tall as his knees. The air she breathed in was oxygen-rich, crisp like the scent of the trees around them, clean like the water of the lakes, and smelled as sweet as the flowers under her feet. The imprint of happiness in The Force was so much stronger now that she was actually out in it. The feeling was heady, making Rey buzz with elation. She hoped that Ben was surrounded by The Force because she was quickly bounding towards his turned figure with a plan of jumping onto his back.

**Catch me** , she said through the bond.

She wasn’t sure that he heard her, so she started preparing herself to use The Force to land on her feet, if necessary. Luckily, he turned around at the last fraction of a second and caught her in his arms. She’d wanted to curl herself around him like a backpack, but being on the front side of him was proving to be a better deal. His strong hands supported her on the underside of her thighs, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, her arms were thrown around his neck for support, and his lips were on hers as soon as they tangled together.

The joyful energy of this place was intoxicating, and soon she was back on her feet and they were spinning and laughing in a practically drunken daze. They playfully shoved each other until Rey found herself on the ground, straddling Ben and staring down at that smile that she adored so; the true Ben Solo smile that he’d first shown her all those months ago on Exegol; the smile that she would scour the entire universe for, just to see it in person again.

She couldn’t resist lacing their fingers together and bending down to press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose before resting her forehead against his.”I love this place.”

“Me too,” he murmured lowly.

“And I love you, Ben. I kriffing love you.”

A faint chuckle. “I kriffing love you as well.”


	9. Naboo (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please tell me that someone will help me," she groaned, turning around to see Ben already walking inside the castle with a big box on each shoulder - at least she assumed they were big boxes, but they looked so small on his broad shoulders. Rey wasn't sure how he could be lightly tinted blue and a tad transparent and still have his flexed back and shoulder muscles visible through his fairly tight shirt. Stars, how she wanted to see that same view on a flesh and blood Ben...and also maybe without a shirt in the way.

  
  


Ben planted his feet firmly on the ground and stared his enemy directly in the face. Their eyes stayed locked in an unspoken challenge.

"Do I have to do this?" he groaned.

Anakin stood next to Rey as they watched. "I am literally about to die for you, Ben. Consider this my final wish."

"Fine."

Ben reluctantly climbed up onto the shaak, a bulbous creature who stood taller than Rey. It had short, stubby legs that logically shouldn't be able to support its rotund mass. It was essentially the shape of a giant egg on its side, its backside jutting out behind its legs making up most of its body. This animal defied physics, and now Ben was standing precariously on top of its back.

"I once tried this in an attempt to impress Padmé, before we were together," Anakin told Rey.

The shaak was now running and bucking in an attempt to throw Ben off of it.

"Yeah? How did that go?" Rey asked in amusement.

"I lasted for about 20 seconds before I fell, and that was using The Force to help. This is going to be so funny.”

"I bet Ben breaks your record."

"What are the stakes?"

Luke appeared behind them. "Father, I dearly hope you're not trying to corrupt my former padawan with gambling."

"It's too late anyway," Leia added, appearing next to Anakin. "He's at 27 seconds now."

" _Kriff!_ " Anakin stomped in frustration. 

Ben lasted another 12 seconds before the shaak finally sent him flying. Rey wasn't sure if ghosts could feel pain, but she instinctively reached her hand out and used The Force to catch her soulmate.

"If you all are done playing," Luke pinched the bridge of his nose, "the ship has a lot of things to take inside."

Rey sighed, remembering all the supplies she'd purchased in Mos Eisley before leaving Tatooine. It wasn't like she couldn't buy supplies here on Naboo, but Rey didn't think that she would be able to leave Ben long enough to make the trip to Theed. That is how Rey ended up buying a few standard weeks worth of food, toiletries, med kits, etc. before departure. Thank Force for Leia's final wishes - she made sure that Rey was given a currency chip with access to the enormous Organa vault. She went from growing up unable to afford food to having an almost limitless supply of credits, so naturally she went a little overboard.

But now, Rey had to haul all of it inside her new home and unpack everything. The thought made her scrunch her nose. 

"Please tell me that someone will help me," she groaned, turning around to see Ben already walking inside the castle with a big box on each shoulder - at least she assumed they were big boxes, but they looked so small on his broad shoulders. Rey wasn't sure how he could be lightly tinted blue and a tad transparent and still have his flexed back and shoulder muscles visible through his fairly tight shirt. Stars, how she wanted to see that same view on a flesh and blood Ben...and also maybe without a shirt in the way.

"Rey, are you coming?" Leia called, a knowing smile on her face. Rey had been standing there staring at Ben with a dumbstruck look on her face, far too long to be doing anything other than ogling him. She practically had to wipe the drool from her lips before running over to grab a few boxes. Leia looked down and shook her head in obvious amusement, grabbing her gently by the arm and pulling her aside and out of the men's hearing range. "Rey, I don't mean to embarrass you, but I'm a mother and I have to ask...has anyone ever had The Talk with you?"

Rey set the boxes down and cocked her head in confusion. "What talk?"

"About sex, Rey."

Rey blushed furiously. "General, I..."

Leia knew that she only called her General when she was embarrassed and wanted to end the conversation. She softly put her hand on her forearm and tried to soothe the young girl who was practically her daughter. "This is important, Rey. I see the way you're lusting after my son, and that's perfectly normal. I know that Han gave him The Talk ages ago, but I want to make sure that you're informed as well."

"Well, I...I saw things when I lived on Jakku...it wasn't always a private thing there...but it usually seemed very unpleasant for the women…"

"That doesn't sound like _sex_ , dear," Leia interrupted with a deep sadness. "That sounds like...well, something else that's very bad. Sex is something that should be enjoyed by all parties involved."

Rey blushed even harder. "I, um, when I joined The Resistance I started using the holonet for the first time. Sometimes I would mess something up and I'd be presented with a video or hologram of people...having sex...and it always showed the woman enjoying it very much. When I look at Ben...I feel a strange _want_...I think I would enjoy it with him...but I'm also afraid."

Leia sighed and looped her arm through Rey's. "Let's go inside, dear. We have a lot to discuss."


	10. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> After reading about a way to bring Ben back, Rey and the ghost gang have made their way to Naboo. Leia realized that she has a little mothering to do with Rey before she leaves her and Ben alone with their hormones.

Rey wanted to die.

She wondered why she hadn't considered it before now. She could just become one with The Force and be with Ben and everything would be okay. Dying would be a wonderful plan.

And best of all: it would get her away from the conversation she was currently in.

"This little nub right here is a bundle of nerves called the clitoris," Leia informed her, pointing to a spot on the diagram she'd drawn shortly before. Rey strongly considered shooting Force lightning at that piece of paper and burning it up.

"Please, General," Rey begged. "It's been almost an hour. I believe I'm well enough educated at this point."

"Yes, I suppose so," Leia nodded. "And knowing Han, I'm sure he taught Ben what to do down there anyway," she added under her breath.

"What was that?" Rey asked in confusion.

"Hmm? Oh, it was nothing. Just, be safe and have fun, okay?"

"Of course, General." Rey was already on her feet preparing to escape when Leia grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Oh and Rey? Even though I won't be here to see them, I still want grandbabies."

Yes, death sounded like the best option in the entire galaxy.

Leia dissipated with a chuckle and left her standing by herself in the small sitting room.

She had never really been interested in sex. She grew up struggling to survive, which took a lot of focus, effort, and energy. Besides, it's not like Jakku was full of appealing suitors. Sure, Ajan Kloss had its fair share of objectively attractive men vying for her affection, but Rey was a Jedi by then and she was committed to being celibate. 

And who was she kidding? Her heart had only ever belonged to Ben. He was the only man she had ever been interested in, celibacy be damned. She brought the feeling of guilt up to Leia, who just reminded her that she was once a Jedi, too, and look how that turned out. They'd already broken the rule about falling in love, anyway;  _ making  _ love was just another aspect of it.

Deep in her heart, Rey knew that Jedi or not, Dyads were supposed to be together. The Force wanted Rey and Ben to be together in every possible way - body, mind, and soul. She  _ knew  _ this.

Besides, if The Force didn't want them to have sex, it never would have connected her to a shirtless Ben that time on Ahch-To...and who was Rey to argue with The Force?

Rey stared down at the drawing still lying on the table for a few moments, contemplating. She casually looked around to make sure she was alone before she picked it up in curiosity. The paper held reasonably detailed sketches of what Rey now knew to be a vulva, a uterus, and...a penis - penises, to be precise, as Leia had drawn examples of both flaccid and erect ones.

Rey had seen a few penises (Dick? Cock? She'd heard most of the terms) in the past: a few faraway ones in Niima and a few closer ones on the holonet. She usually looked away in embarrassment, but she still knew roughly the size of one in proportion to the man it was attached to. That thought terrified her, because Ben was a rudely large man. 

Ben was like a brooding mountain, and Rey was a slight woman in comparison. 

She continued staring down at Leia's drawing, wondering how accommodating her massive Bondmate into her body could possibly feel good. He  _ had  _ to be big, and even her small finger had felt like an uncomfortable intrusion the one time she explored herself with her hands. Leia had told her that sex would be pleasurable with lubrication, preparation, and time to adjust, but Rey was still intimidated at the thought.

At least she could take comfort in knowing that she had a while to wait before it was anywhere near time to actually have sex-

"There you are!" Ben's voice enthusiastically interrupted. "It's t-"

"NOTHING!" Rey squeaked guiltily, crumbling up the paper and tossing it into the unlit fireplace behind her. "I mean, what? Hi."

Ben was too excited to even pay attention. "Sweetheart, it's time!"

Her eyes automatically darted down to his crotch and back up. "Time for what??"

Again, Ben was far too anxious to even notice her hesitation as he grabbed her hand to lead her away. "The ritual! Everything is in place!"

"Oh, that," she exhaled in relief; Ben wasn't talking about sex, he was talking about the-

Wait.

WAIT.

THE WHAT?

"It's time?!" she shouted, bouncing up and down and finally matching his energy. 

Ben nodded animatedly, the two of them now sprinting down the halls, hands clasped together tightly. "It's time!"

"You're coming back?!"

"I'm coming back!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I broke my hand this week and typing is difficult. I figured a short chapter is better than nothing, though. Hopefully the next one will be extra long to make up for it :)


	11. Jedi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Leia spent an hour teaching Rey about the space birds and the space bees. Rey had fears about a potential Big aspect of sex with her giant man. Ben announced that it's ~finally~ time for the ritual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient between updates! My broken hand is making typing difficult and it's so frustrating.

Rey wasn’t sure what she was expecting to see when Ben led her into the library, but it certainly was not this.

The large room was basking in a blue glow from the amount of Force ghosts milling around and chatting with each other. Rey did not know them by their faces, but she recognized their voices enough to know that they were all Jedi. Being in their proximity reminded her of when they were all inside of her, filling her with their power, and it gave Rey a warm feeling in her soul that almost numbed the pain of Ben’s void. __

_ Almost. _

**What are they all doing here?** she questioned through the bond she and Ben shared. 

**They’re here to help, and to say goodbye,** he answered.

Rey was hit with a wave of sadness. She had been so excited for Ben to come back that she had nearly forgotten the cost. 

**It's no surprise that The Jedi are giving Leia a going-away party,** she smiled fondly.

Ben pursed his lips for a moment, considering her statement before correcting her.  **Actually, most of them are here for Anakin.**

**Really? Anakin?**

**I was surprised too. He’s about to make a big sacrifice, and I suppose it has earned him a bit of redemption in their eyes. He’s getting a fond farewell from a few old friends.**

**That’s really kind, actually.**

**It is.** Ben shifted his weight nervously.  **It’s...it’s nice knowing that someone like him can find acceptance; I don’t think that anyone has necessarily forgiven him, but they are accepting him as he is, mistakes and all. It’s comforting...knowing that there is hope.**

Rey gripped his hand tighter and made him look her in the eyes.  **I accept you, Ben. I always have.**

**We share a soul** , he smiled sadly.  **You don’t count.**

Rey cocked one eyebrow up at him, waiting on him to realize what he said. 

**You count to me!** he added quickly.

**You come from nothing. You’re nothing,** she mocked in a dramatically deep voice.  **But not to me.**

Ben rolled his eyes at her.  **Hey, I was trying to flirt with you then.**

Rey snorted.  **Force, no wonder it took us so long to finally get together.**

With that, they made their way into the group. Leia was flitting around the room in a circle lighting candles, which Rey wasn’t sure were for the ritual or just aesthetic purposes. Luke was on his knees arranging objects and artifacts in the middle of it, simultaneously talking to a small green creature. He must have put something in the wrong place because he was rewarded with a bonk on the head from the little man’s cane, who then fell into a fit of hysterical laughter. Anakin was standing against a wall of books having a conversation with two people: an old man with a white beard donning a brown cloak, and a woman with tan skin, white facial markings, and striped head-tails. 

They decided to start with Anakin, lest they be on the receiving end of the green man's stick for interrupting the preparations. When they approached the trio, it was the old man who first acknowledged their presence.

"Ben!" He grinned, placing his hands on her soulmate's shoulders. "Hello there. It's so good to see you again."

"Master Kenobi," Ben nodded in a greeting. "A pleasure to see you as well."

"You're Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Rey cut in excitedly. "Sorry, I mean Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan chuckled and turned his attention to her. "Rey, it's an honor to finally meet you. I've been following your journey for a while, now."

His accented voice instantly triggered a memory from Takodana, buried deep in her memory due to the trauma it had caused at the time.

_ Rey, these are your first steps. _

"You really have been," she murmured at the realization. "That was you, speaking to me at Maz's castle, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Rey. I've been with you from the beginning."

"I was only there at the end," the woman added. "I was one of the many Jedi with you on Exegol. My name is Ahsoka Tano. I'm very happy to meet you both."

Anakin threw an arm around Ahsoka, beaming proudly. "She was my padawan, just as I was Obi-Wan's. I'm still not sure what I did at the time that got me stuck with a padawan like  _ Snips _ here."

"Oh shut it,  _ Skyguy _ ," she affectionately shot back. "You loved training me."

"Hmm, ready, we are," a wobbly, throaty voice interrupted. Everyone's attention snapped down to the tiny green man approaching their group. "Pleasure to meet you, it is, Ben Solo and Rey Solo."

The bondmates shared a blush at hearing a stranger refer to them with the same last name. It felt like an honor.

It felt right.

"Master Yoda!" Luke called. "I need you to double-check these sigils for me."

Yoda shook his head with a strange giggle. "Needed, I am. Much to learn still, young Skywalker has," he commented as he hobbled away.

"Well it looks like we still have a moment," Ben mused, turning back to the three generations of masters and padawans next to them. "So, my mother said you are all here to help?"

"Yes, we are," Obi-Wan answered.

"Wait," Rey cut in, her face scrunched in a mixture of confusion and surprise. "Leia told me that you wouldn't help us. She said that you don't support this."

"That was before they found this specific ritual," he explained. "This Dyad resurrection was written by The Daughter herself, so there is no way for it to have any trace of Darkness."

"Whose daughter?" Rey questioned.

"No, Rey," Ben said reverently. "She is just called The Daughter. I read about her. She was part of an ancient family called The Ones. The Daughter was considered a deity of the Light."

"I met The Ones," Ahsoka said sadly. "The Daughter actually gave her life to revive me, much like Ben did for Rey."

"And she wrote this ritual?" Rey asked.

"Yes," Anakin confirmed, rubbing Ahsoka's shoulder in a comforting way. "She knew that Dyads are very important to the galaxy. You and Ben together create a power unseen for generations. This ritual has a very specific list of criteria, which you luckily fit perfectly. The most important requirement is that a group of powerful Jedi consider the death to be untimely. We all believe that your bonded power is essential right now. The two of you are necessary for keeping peace and balance in the galaxy."

Rey's eyes widened. "Does that mean something else is coming?"

No. Please no. They deserve rest. They deserve normalcy. They deserve peace.

"No, Rey," Obi-Wan assured her. "Nobody knows what the future holds, but the sheer existence of your bond is enough to discourage evil forces. When you and Ben finally joined together, it sent a magnitude of power throughout The Force. As long as that power is present in The Force, any existing Sith factions out there know what trouble awaits them if they try to disturb the peace."

Leia approached behind Rey and Ben and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "We really are ready, now."

The five of them quieted immediately as a somber hush fell over the room. Leia and Anakin shared a heavy look before both nodding dutifully. Mournful expressions aside, it was clear that they were resigned to their fates.

So quickly that Rey almost missed it, Ben spun around and pulled Leia into a crushing hug. He dropped his head and burrowed it into her shoulder. He held her for what felt like hours, and yet it still was not long enough. Rey felt his emotions - felt him sending fifteen years worth of apologies into the embrace. Every emotion that he couldn't voice aloud was being projected to his mother through The Force. The moment was so intimate that Rey felt guilty just feeling the echo of it, but she couldn't help it. In fact, she was sure that everyone in the room could taste their sorrow.

"Thank you for this." Ben's brittle voice was muffled by Leia's neck. "Thank you for everything. I love you, mom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say a big Fuck You to my Spotify shuffle for making me hear the lyric "you're gonna miss me when I'm gone" while I wrote that last paragraph.


	12. The Ritual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey and Ben met a few of the past Jedi while the ritual was being set up. It is now time to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the length of this chapter, but the next one is super long so it'll even out :)

The Jedi took their places around the outer rim of the circle, sitting in between the candles. Rey and Ben sat in the center facing each other separated by a few personal items of Ben's. Anakin and Leia were flanked behind Ben on either side. Luke stood above them, saying one last goodbye.

"May The Force be with you both," he said tightly.

Leia smiled up warmly at him. "I know."

"You as well, my son," Anakin replied.

Luke nodded in recognition and took his place between Obi-Wan and Yoda before clearing his throat. "Ben, Rey, may The Force also be with the two of you."

Once everyone was silent for a few beats, Anakin addressed the Dyad pair exclusively for direction. "This isn't going to be pleasant. It is going to be very difficult. The Dark Side will be tempting you. It will tell you lies. Just remember your training. Remember that you are stronger than anything it can throw your way."

"Got it." Rey nodded confidently. "What do I need to do?"

"You need to find Ben."

She furrowed her brow and looked at her soulmate sitting cross-legged in front of her. "He's right here." She pointed directly at his equally puzzled face. 

Leia groaned while the other Jedi either rolled their eyes or muffled their laughs. "I'm having doubts about leaving them alone," Leia remarked in an amused state of frustration. "Apparently they share a single soul  _ and _ a single brain cell."

"That's not," Luke pinched the bridge of his nose, "that's not what he meant."

Anakin inhaled deeply before continuing. "Rey, we're sending you both into the World Between Worlds. Ben will need to find you as well. It's a test to prove the strength of your bond - your power as a Dyad."

"We'll find each other," Rey said without hesitation. 

"It will be easy," Ben added with a shrug.

"It might not be," Anakin said more seriously. "The Darkness will tempt you both. It will prey on your worst fears and your greatest desires. It will do anything to keep you apart."

"There is not a thing in the entire galaxy that could keep me from Rey." Ben grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly, holding her gaze with a burning passion in his eyes. "I will find you, sweetheart."

"Not if I find you first," she grinned back.

Anakin clapped his hands together. "Good! Because if you don't find each other, you'll be trapped there."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Anakin are you just now informing them of this?"

"Well yeah," he answered like it should have been obvious.

"You didn't give them any time at all to prepare for this journey?"

"That's why I'm telling them now."

"Oh Force, Anakin. This is why you never earned the rank of Master."

"We've got this," Rey and Ben said at the exact same time.

"Yes, your bond is strong, we get it." Anakin smirked. "Save it for the ritual."

"How do we do this?" Rey asked. "How do we get there?"

"The Jedi will all use their power to send your consciousness there. Leia and I will conserve our energy until The Force alerts us that you found each other. Then, she and I will use our combined lifeforce to manifest Ben's body." He glanced over at his daughter, showing her a sad smile before turning his attention back to Ben and Rey. "And if we are lucky, we might survive long enough to welcome you back."

Rey wished she hadn't witnessed the extraordinary pain that flashed through Ben's eyes at that statement. The hurt burned itself into her memory and she immediately knew that sight would haunt her for the rest of her life. Leia whispered something in his ear that caused him to jerk his head down, trying to hide the telltale way his lips twitched while holding back tears.

"Ben, Rey, take one another's hands," Anakin instructed. Ben composed himself with a sniff and the pair did as they were told. "Leia, take my hand and place your other one on Ben's shoulder as I am doing. Everyone else, light it up."

The Force swirled around The Jedi and began to glow in a brilliant white-gold light. Rey had to close her eyes and it still shined almost as bright behind her eyelids.

"Ben, Rey," Anakin said powerfully, "reach out."


	13. Rey's Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:   
> The Daughter's Ritual to bring Ben back to life has begun. Rey and Ben have been sent to the World Between Worlds as a test. The two must prove their strength as a Dyad by fighting the Darkness and finding each other.

"Ben, Rey, reach out."

Rey reached out, instantly falling into the miserable black hole of Ben’s absence. 

She fell deeper than ever, the pain searing white hot through her body until the agony was all she’d ever known. A pressure was building in her brain so quickly that she was certain her head was going to explode. The air was leaving her lungs and her throat burned with the screams she couldn’t hear over the ringing in her ears. She was shaking so violently from a combination of the intense pain and the stinging coldness she was surrounded with. She was freezing and then suddenly covered with multiple pairs of hands that were so full of Light that they burned her skin wherever they touched; the polarizing temperatures surely had to be putting off steam.

"Stop touching...hurting me," is what she wanted to say. She couldn't hear her own voice over the din in her mind, but she tried anyway. The Jedi must have heard her because the blazing palms disappeared, replaced once more by the bitter, cold sting of the Dark.

She thought she’d never stop falling, but apparently the void had an end. She hit the ground of a pit and miraculously managed to find her way to her feet. She didn’t even have time to look around before she was swarmed by copies of herself that were inherently  _ wrong _ . It was the same Sith version of herself that she recognized from the Death Star and her frequent nightmares. She fell to her knees, curling over herself and covering her ears while they surrounded her. The ringing in her ears was swiftly replaced with malicious whispers.

**They are not bringing Ben back.**

**They are not saving you.**

**They are killing you both.**

**How can you be such a stupid girl?**

**You can’t trust Vader.**

**Leia doesn’t care about you.**

**Why would anyone want to help you?**

**You are nobody.**

**Ben is a monster.**

**Nobody is going to give their lives for either of you.**

**~Sweetheart? Can you hear me?~**

**They want you both dead.**

**It’s so much easier to get rid of you.**

**The Jedi already killed you once.**

**~Rey, come back to me!~**

**You must kill them all.**

**Use their lifeforces to bring your soulmate back.**

**The Jedi are the reason Ben is dead in the first place.**

**Nobody cares about you.**

**They only want to stop you.**

**~Rey! Please listen to me! You can fight this!~**

**Kill.**

**Them.**

**All.**

**~I love you. Please.~**

Wait a minute, one of those voices was not hers. She recognized it. How did she know that voice?

**Don’t listen to Ben.**

**He is naive.**

**He doesn’t understand us.**

**He trusts them.**

**He is almost as stupid as you.**

**You must kill them all.**

**Bring him back.**

_ Ben _ . How dare they insult Ben. Wait, was that Ben's voice mixed in before?

"Stop!" Rey shouted, getting to her feet. "Stop lying!"

**~I believe in you, sweetheart. Follow my voice.~**

Rey suddenly felt as if a rope had been thrown into the pit. A dull glow illuminated a thread and she reached for it instinctively. As soon as her fingers gripped it, she was hit with a wave of Light. It didn’t burn this time. It felt like comfort and love. It felt like coming home. She followed it, pushing through the crowd until she reached a wall. She gripped the rope tighter and clawed her way up until she saw him waiting at the top of the pit.  _ Ben. Her Ben. Her soulmate, Flesh-toned and solid. _ He leaned over the edge and offered his hand. She reached up to grab it and finished crawling out of the Darkness.

The pain was gone. 

The pit was gone. 

The entire void of Ben's absence was filled. 

For the first time in months, Rey felt whole again. 

"I found you!" he said with a grin. His smile was slightly off. Wrong? He looked down at their joined hands and his grin grew, baring his teeth in a way that bristled the hair on the back of her neck. "And you finally took my hand."

He swiftly pulled her close to him and fell backwards onto a chair, dragging her into his lap. 

Wait. Not a chair.

A throne.

_ The Sith Throne. _

"Ben?" she whispered so quietly that even she barely heard it.

"Don't call me that anymore." His grip tightened microscopically and he lifted his finger to her chin, examining her with an almost sad curiosity. She went rigid and suddenly felt as if she were being held hostage. "I can't believe you fell for that, my sweet, naive Empress. Always wanting to see the good in people." He leaned into her face, inhaling her scent and looking up into her eyes through his lashes. "So simple. So easy to deceive. I can't believe all it took was a little false show of heroism on Exegol."

She was shaking, gritting her teeth. This was not true. This was not happening.

_ This was not happening. _

"That wasn't fake. You gave me your life, Ben."

He laughed. It was a chilling, hollow sound. "I must admit I'm a little disappointed at how fast you believed that lie."

"You're not my Ben," she shook her head at the realization.

"I never was. I've always been yours, Rey, but I've never been your  _ Ben. _ I'm better than him."

No.

No.

No.

"Ben, no. Please. No. Don't do this, Ben."

"I said stop calling me that!!" he growled violently, shifting her in his lap so that he was bent over her, looming threateningly. His voice was so angry. So cold. "Ben Solo died the second Luke Skywalker took his lightsaber to that innocent kid sleeping in his bed! My name is Kylo Ren, and you,  _ Rey Palpatine _ , are going to be my Queen of the Dark."

"They'll never bring us back," she swore meekly. "Not like this. They'll never resurrect Kylo Ren."

"You still think they are the ones bringing us back?" His chuckle was so cruel it hurt. "I am! I'm bringing us back! I'm strong enough to twist the Dark to my will. I will pull us out of this, sweetheart. Leia will be gone - out of my way - and I'm going to inherit the lifeforce of Darth Vader. I'll have more power than you could ever imagine, and together we will be unstoppable. We will rule the galaxy side by side, Empress Palpatine."

"That's not my name!!" she screamed, flexing The Force around her so violently that Ben - no, Kylo - went flying to the ground a few feet away. She stood up and took a few steps toward him. He stared up at her in an awed fear, watching as her eyes glowed and her hands crackled with Force lightning. "My name is Rey Solo, and I am stronger than you."

She shot him with a long blast of electricity until his body lay there convulsing. While he was temporarily paralyzed, she turned and ran. She ran away from Kylo Ren - she ran away from the Ben she thought she knew. She ran away from the man she was ashamed to still love anyway. She ran away from the cold. She ran until she started feeling warmth. She ran until her feet hurt. She ran until she couldn't hold it together anymore. She ran until she couldn't see through the tears. She ran until she slammed into a broad chest.

He instinctively wrapped his arms around her protectively. "Rey! I found you!"

"Don't you dare!" 

She pulled away to the side and hooked her leg around the back of his knees. At the same time, she used her shoulder to push against his using all her weight. Kylo fell backwards, feet flying up into the air and then he was on his back writhing. His face scrunched in pain as his body settled to the new position. 

Tears were still falling but she tried to keep her voice strong. "Don't you dare speak to me."

"Rey!" He grimaced as he sat up. "Kriff, what was that about?"

She used her foot to push him back down, settling her boot and weight on his chest as she looked down. 

"Shut up, Kylo."

The sudden change in his expression hinted that her calling him that hurt worse than the physical pain she'd inflicted.

"Please don't," he said thickly, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "Please don't call me that name. Not you. Not ever you."

Her face turned into a desperate yet guarded hope. "...Ben?"

"Of course I'm Ben!" He moved to sit up but she added more weight to keep him down. "I don't know what lies the Dark Side told you, but I'm Ben, sweetheart."

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and willed her voice not to crack. "Prove it to me. Prove to me that you are my Ben."

"Can't you feel that it's me?"

"Prove it another way!"

"Okay, um," he seemed panicked and confused. "Your favorite color is green. Your best friend is secretly Force-sensitive and you think nobody knows - not even me - but it's actually really obvious. You like it when I braid your hair the way my mother taught me when I was a child; the Alderaanian royalty style braids that make you feel elegant...and make you want to slow dance, for some reason. If you drop food, you make sure nobody is looking before you pick it up and finish it anyway because you're still scared to waste a single bite. Some nights you hold my shirt and cry yourself to sleep because I'm too weak to show myself, even though I'm standing right there desperately trying to reach out to you. You-"

He was Ben. Undoubtedly Ben. 

Kylo Ren was just an illusion of the Dark. 

This was the real Ben. She found him.

_ They found each other. _

Rey's foot on his chest was instantly replaced by her body as she threw herself on top of him, effectively cutting off his frantic list. She kissed him and he was drowning in the taste of salt on her lips, wet with streaks of tears. He held her tightly to him, kissing her back hungrily. She moved and pressed her lips against every spot she could reach; she kissed his nose, cheeks, eyelids, ears, forehead, jaw, and back to his lips again. 

When she finally pulled away, they stared at each other in amazement. They each caressed the others cheek as if they had to make sure that they were real - that it was their real soulmate in front of them. Their mouths both spread in huge smiles that were undoubtedly  _ right _ .

"Ben," she breathed out.

"Rey," he whispered back in reverence.

She opened her eyes and was back in the library. Ben was still sitting across from her with his hands in hers. He blinked his eyes open as well and she was met with those deep brown irises she’d missed so much; seeing them felt like a gulp of oxygen after spending her whole life drowning. The solid sight of his huge, toothy smile in front of her might as well have been the first thing she ever saw, because she swore she was blind until this very moment. She hesitantly reached out and cupped his face, feeling the warmth of his pale flesh. Her vision blurred with tears as she trailed her hand downward, grazing the softly throbbing pulse point on his neck. She finally settled her touch on his chest, his hand reaching up to cover the back of hers while she worshipped the steady beat of his heart under her palm.

Ben was alive.


	14. Ben's Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey had to fight off illusions of Empress Palpatine and Kylo Ren in the World Between Worlds as a test in order to bring Ben back to life.
> 
> Now it's Ben's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING:  
> There's some slight violence/gore (nothing worse than what they've shown in the movies)
> 
> And we are finally dipping our toes into some smut (definitely more than what they've shown in the movies)
> 
> Enjoy, ya filthy animals 😘

* * *

"Ben, Rey, reach out."

Ben closed his eyes and pushed his awareness out into The Force. His brain and body both felt as if they were being pulled and stretched downwards, like he was in a lift that was rising far too fast. It ended and he was back in his body with a jolt, opening his eyes to a bittersweet memory.

He stood above Rey in Snoke's throne room, about to make one of the greatest decisions of his life. 

He was about to kill Snoke.

"I see his mind. I see his every intent," Snoke bragged.

No, he did not.

"I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true."

Ben reached out with The Force to spin the Skywalker saber...but his mind was trapped. The saber stayed positioned away from Snoke. Ben's arms raised up of their own accord, poised to strike Rey. He couldn't move. 

He flailed violently. 

He yelled.

His body stayed completely still and silent. 

Snoke said something muffled in the background of his brain's screams. His saber zipped to life over his shoulder and his brain zeroed in on the singularity of the sound. 

"- one true enemy!" Snoke yelled with finality. 

This was all wrong. His saber wasn't supposed to ignite at all. It was supposed to be aimed at Rey's chest, not crackling and aimed in the direction of her neck. 

_ He was supposed to have a lightsaber ready to execute his former master. _

"Ben," Rey begged tearfully. "Please don't. Don't do this, Ben."

No matter how much he resisted or how hard he reached for The Force, his arms still brought the saber down.

_ I'm so sorry, Rey. _

He slammed his eyes shut tightly but still felt himself cleave through her little neck. He still heard every little sound: the whir of the saber as it moved through the air, the sound of skin being sliced and cauterized at the same time, the sickening thump of something hitting the ground a few feet away, and the thud of the rest of Rey's body slumping at his feet.

Then he was falling through blackness, gagging and heaving at the sound of Rey's severed head landing on the floor playing on a loop in his memory. Thankfully he was back on the ground by the time he started actually emptying his stomach acid underneath him. He was on his hands and knees, puking in between broken sobs of a man who'd just killed the love of his life. His lightsaber clattered on the ground next to him, and he wished that the vile weapon had stayed in the throne room with the rest of that nightmare. How dare it follow him after hacking his soulmate in two.

_ It wasn't real _ , he told himself.  _ That was not my Rey. I have to find her.  _

"Decapitation, huh?" Rey's voice said above him. His head snapped up to see her...except, it wasn't exactly her. "I always assumed that you would kill me with a more intimate method."

"Rey?" he choked out.

" _ Empress _ ," she corrected. " _ Empress Palpatine _ . Now, on your feet, Kylo."

He quickly did as he was told. Something about the tone of her voice left no room for disobedience. 

Stars, she was gorgeous like this. She wore a black silk outfit, flaring around each of her legs and tightening as it stretched upwards, caressing her hips beautifully. The fabric turned loose again and two thick straps of silk that were barely the width of Ben's hand traveled up over her shoulders and back down, scantily covering her breasts. A deep V-shape of bare skin reached from her collarbone to just above her belly button, revealing a flat, freckled chest with two soft mounds peeking from underneath those loose straps. With one wrong move or angle, he would probably be able to see if her tits were as perfect as he had always imagined.

"Good boy, Ren." Her red painted lips spread into a grin while her hair blew in wild waves around her. 

Ben was almost too entranced by her violent beauty to realize the name she had been calling him. 

"I'm not Kylo Ren anymore," he said with conviction. "That name does not belong to me, just like Palpatine does not belong to you, Rey."

"Do not speak of things which you know nothing about," she warned. "We might both be going by the name Solo right now, but that can change. That  _ will  _ change. Kylo, we are so close to everything you've ever wanted."

"I don't want any of that now. I don't care about power anymore."

She sauntered closer, swinging her hips in such a way that Ben couldn't think straight. "Oh, and what  _ do  _ you want, then? You can tell me. You can tell me anything, Ren."

His throat had gone dry. "You," he said honestly. "From the moment we met, all I've wanted was you."

"I want you too," she murmured, reaching out to caress his cheek. "You have me. You could have more. You are allowed to want more."

"Then…" he looked down, trying not to look her in the eyes; those eyes would be his undoing in this. "...then I want to be good. I want to redeem myself for my mistakes - for my crimes."

She lifted his chin back up to see her face, leaning in ever so slightly. "Where is the fun in that?"

She was staring intently at his mouth. She bit her bottom lip and stared up at him through her long lashes. She stood on her tiptoes and curled her hand around the back of his neck, bringing him down at an unhurried pace. Ben swore an eon passed before their lips  _ finally  _ met. 

They kissed softly and languidly for a while, but after a few passes of their tongues they became less gentle and more desperate. Ben's hand was sliding his hand under the fabric on her shoulder when his senses came back to him. This looked like Rey and felt like Rey, but it wasn't  _ his  _ Rey.

He pulled away from her and backed up right into a wall. "I don't, I don't want this," he stuttered. 

That was only a half true - he wanted Rey in every conceivable way, but not like this. Not this version. He wanted  _ his  _ Rey, not Sith Rey. He wanted Rey Solo, not Empress Palpatine....no matter how often he used to imagine her coming to the Dark Side and sweetly moaning into his mouth just like she had been.

"You can't deny me, Kylo." She stepped into his space, crowding him against the wall. "I know how many sleepless nights you've had this exact fantasy," she purred. The husky tone her accent took on was driving him crazy. 

She put a finger to his lips and slowly dragged it down. Her fingernail traced a path down his chin, neck, chest, abdomen, much slower than the blood rushing in the same direction. He was already stirring to life by the time her fingertip lightly brushed up and down his length through his pants. He grit his teeth and willed himself to calm down - which might have worked if she hadn't decided to cup her palm over him and grind the heel of her hand against his shaft. He hissed in air through his teeth and clenched his fists to keep from grabbing her and pulling her against him. 

That drew a sinister smile from her.

"That's right, my love." She changed her grip and started stroking him with intent, earning a low groan from deep in his chest. "I know how many nights you've spent doing this to yourself, imagining me riding you on the Sith Throne. We can make that happen, you know. We can rule the entire galaxy together." She leaned in so that her lips tickled his ear and her breath danced hot across his skin. "You can take your rightful place on that throne with me in your lap," she whispered and nipped at his lobe, "and I'll bounce on your cock while the Darkness envelops us."

The mental image was too much. Ben growled and grabbed her, turning and pushing her against the wall roughly. He hitched her legs up around his waist and kneaded her ass in his large hands, grinding his hips down once. Twice. Three times. He lost count. She responded by shamelessly sliding her core in firm strokes against his cock. Force, even through their pants her heat felt so kriffing good against his straining erection. He could rut into her just like this forever. His groans were muffled into her neck, interspersed with wet kisses along her jaw. His breathing turned so ragged he thought he might die again, and it would be worth it. This felt oh so  _ right _ and oh so  _ wrong _ and he was oh so  _ close.  _

"You can turn me," she moaned, digging her nails into his shoulder blades. "It would be so easy, Kylo. I was already willing to kill for you. I would do anything for you. I would join the Dark Side for you."

He froze, ignoring every primal instinct his body had.

She was completely right. His Rey  _ would  _ do anything for him...but this wasn't his Rey. 

This was the Rey he  _ used to want.  _

This was not the Rey he fell in love with. 

This was a warped, twisted version of her and the realization that he was about to come in his pants for  _ this _ woman made him violently sick. He threw her off of him and bent over vomiting again, basically only dry heaving at this point. He braced himself against the wall with one arm and used the other to cradle his aching stomach. 

"You're so pathetic," she scoffed, pulling out her dual lightsaber and snapping it open to its full length, which was nearly taller than her. "If I can't seduce you to keep you from her, I'll have to kill you instead."

The Sith Rey dove at Ben. He spit out the last of the bile and swiveled out of her path. His hand shot out and called his old lightsaber, now eternally thankful that it had fallen from the throne room with him. It came to life in time to block her saber with a thunderous crack. They quickly settled into their old fighting pattern, anticipating each other's moves and evading them like second nature. 

Neither of them were making any headway. Ben's body was used to fighting her, but now his instincts were protesting wildly and throwing him off his game.

_ This is not my Rey,  _ he kept telling himself.

_ This is not my Rey.  _

_ This is not Rey at all. _

_ I have to defeat her.  _

_ I have to…kill her...again... _

Ben centered himself and summoned the Light. He thought about the real Rey; he thought about her stubborn refusal to give up on him. He thought about his mother; he thought about how strong she was for staying pure no matter how much loss she'd experienced. He thought about his father; he thought about his stupid bravery and unwavering belief in Ben.

His body completely filled up with love and righteous power. The Light flowed through him like a powerful river. The Empress suddenly stared at him in shock, gaping at the sight of his glowing eyes. 

"Kylo, what the kriff?" she said in shock. Her arm dropped to her side, temporarily off guard.

"My name is Ben." He lifted his saber, face bathed in red light and hair gently blowing from the sheer power surrounding him. "I am Ben Solo. I am the last Skywalker."

He lunged. 

_ She is not my Rey not my Rey not my Rey not my Rey not my Rey. _

His lightsaber pierced the hollow between her breasts, deep enough that the two small beams were almost flush against her skin, searing a horizontal brand into her flesh. His hand seized the back of her neck and he pressed their foreheads firmly together.

"I'm so sorry, Rey," he murmured tearfully.

"Now this," she choked out through a bloody smile, "is intimate."

She vanished into a puff of black smoke, slowly dissipating until there was no evidence of her ever existing. His old lightsaber clattered to the ground behind him as he ran to find his Rey. He skimmed through their bond, but all he found were walls. It was not like the walls blocking him in earlier, but walls on her side as if she were blocking him out. 

_ Why would she do that when the whole point was to find each other? _

He banged against the wall, still unable to break it down but now able to get a glimpse in through a small crack. Rey's emotions were swirling around her mind like an electrical storm, fury coming down in sparks of lightning and despair flooding in with the rain. 

Whatever the Dark Side showed her had put her in misery, and he needed to find her immediately. 

He rounded a corner, skidding in just in time to see the real Rey sprinting towards him. There didn't appear to be anything chasing her, she just seemed to be running away from whatever horror had her sobbing and covering her eyes. He caught her protectively and wanted to cry in relief at the feeling of his Rey in his arms. 

"Rey! I found you!"

"Don't you dare!" she shouted at him.

The next thing he knew he was on his back and she was calling him Kylo, sounding far too much like Empress Palpatine. The minutes following that happened in a blur. He tried reasoning with her, he had to list off ways that prove his identity while fighting off a panic attack, she started kissing him and he melted into her, and then it morphed into them just staring at each other because  _ they had done it. _

He opened his eyes to the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. They were back in the library and Rey was staring at him with tears running down her cheek. She was grinning with the happiest smile he had ever seen her make, pushing the one from Exegol down to second place. 

He knew from her expression alone that he must be alive.

She reached out to touch him with trembling hands, and Force how he missed feeling the sensation of her skin. She held her hand over his heart and he covered it with his own. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, reveling in the feeling of air filling his lungs. 

"Congratulations," came his grandfather's voice behind him. He turned to look but only saw a disappearing light. 

A gentle squeeze on his shoulder had his head snapping to the other side. His mother was still in the process of fading away, tears of joy running down her cheeks and the warmest smile on her face. She reached up and caressed the side of his face with the back of her hand. His lips twitched somewhere between a sob and a smile, watching her as she ebbed away full of content.

"Welcome home, son."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you feel about the Ben POV? Would you like to see more of them in the future?


	15. Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> The Daughter's ritual was a success, and Ben is now back in the world of the living. He and Rey now have their own castle and island on Naboo all to themselves...

Rey had discovered her new favorite thing in the universe: cuddling Ben. Of course they snuggled each other almost every night before, but Force ghost versus alive was night and day. 

She pressed herself against his side, his arm around her and her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, feel his warmth, and smell his musk. She hadn't experienced this level of comfort and peace in her entire life. She never wanted to get up.

After they had returned from the World Between Worlds a few standard hours ago, the other Force ghosts left fairly quickly, since everyone needed rest. The Jedi had used so much energy to bring them back that Rey was impressed they could even stay long enough to say goodbye. 

Rey and Ben weren't physically tired, but their minds desperately needed rest. They had decided the best thing to do first was to snuff out all of the candles and then find their sleeping quarters. 

After some searching, they eventually stumbled across the master bedroom, fully furnished and complete with it's own attached fresher.

"Wow," Rey had remarked in surprise, "someone even changed the bedding for us."

"I see that Luke was very considerate," Ben mused, running his fingers over the neatly splayed sleep clothes that were left out for them on the argora down comforter, all of which they bought on Tatooine. 

When they changed their clothes, Ben had done so inside the fresher. Rey couldn't decide if she was relieved or offended. As a ghost, he had always stayed away while she changed or bathed, so he was probably just being polite. But...a question had been nagging her for a while now.

Was Ben even attracted to her in that way?

Sure, they had kissed a lot, but never any further than that; it seemed pointless when they had no sensations. She knew that Ben loved her, of course, but Rey also knew that there was a difference between romance and sex. She had never caught any thoughts to even hint that he wanted her sexually, so either he didn't or he just hid them from her very well.

She hoped it was the latter, because she was undeniably attracted to him. Ben Solo was so gorgeous that she almost hated it, with his stupid pouty lips and dark eyes and glorious hair and his dumb tall body that she wanted to climb like a tree and -

Okay she was getting off track.

She was left staring at him with a dazed look when he came back in the room. His sleep clothes fit him perfectly and he looked so soft and snuggly that she might melt, so that's exactly what she had done. They crawled into bed and cuddled up close, losing themselves in the safety and comfort of being in each other's arms. Ben laid on his back with Rey slotted in the crook of his arm like a corresponding puzzle piece, and they stayed like that for hours. They were silent nearly the entire time, occasionally speaking audibly or through the bond. Mostly they just let their minds run together, occasionally brushing against each other while their emotions danced through the bond in a way they hadn't since he first showed up on Exegol. They didn't need to use actual words to communicate; they could have entire conversations with feelings alone. It was beautiful.

About two and a half standard hours passed before Ben broke the silence.

"What did the Dark Side show you that made you attack me?" he asked quietly, completely out of the blue.

"You don't want to know," Rey murmured back. "Trust me."

He lifted his head to look down at her. "Yes, I do. We don't keep secrets anymore. We practically share a brain." He smiled mischievously, deciding to mockingly quote his previous self like she had done earlier. "You know I can take whatever I want."

She shot up instantly and pointed a finger at his face in a warning. "Do  _ not _ say things like that."

"What??" He stared down the length of his nose at her accusing finger before the realization of his error dawned on him. "Ah...you called me Kylo earlier. I'm sorry. This is why we need to talk about it. Please, tell me what you saw."

She sighed and flopped back down on his chest. "Fine. First there was pain. Darkness. Cold. I felt the Jedi touching my body and they were so full Light that it burned because of the Dark inside of me. I was falling. Until I wasn't." She paused and buried her face into the soft material of his shirt, hiding in the crevice between his chest and his arm. 

"Keep going," he urged softly. 

She pulled her head out and rested it back on his chest. "I saw a Sith version of myself. Versions. They surrounded me and they whispered  _ awful  _ things, Ben. And in between their lies, I heard your voice, trying to reach me. Telling me to fight it. Telling me you loved and believed in me. You told me to follow your voice so I did. I followed the thread of our bond until I found you. Except it wasn't you, even though I fully believed it was at the time. I took your hand and then you were on the Sith Throne and I was in your lap." Ben went rigid at that. "You said that it was all fake and that you were just tricking me this entire time - that you were still Kylo Ren and had been all along. You told me that you were stealing Vader's power and that we would rule together and you kept calling me  _ Empress Palpatine.  _ And I..." She was crying and twisted her head up to look at him "And I...I believed him. I'm so sorry Ben. I thought it was really you. It felt just like you. I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey," he shushed her soothingly and wiped her tears. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm not upset. I love you. Everything is okay."

She started breathing more evenly and continued. "I had to resist you. I fought you. I knocked you down and I ran. I ran directly into you."

"Force, Rey, that's awful. I'm so sorry."

She nodded and looked back down. "What did you see?"

He sucked in a deep breath. "Actually, I saw Empress Palpatine." His face turned disgusted when he remembered the other face. "And  _ Snoke _ ."

Rey shuddered. "What did…what did I do?"

"You, uh, told me I could turn you to the Dark Side. That I could have the Throne with you on my lap."

"Eerie," Rey whispered at the mirrored nightmares.

"Very. Then you - well,  _ she _ \- started telling me things. Things we could do on the throne. Profane things." Ben shifted uncomfortably while Rey's brain caught on to what he meant. "She tried to seduce me. And like you said, it felt like it was really you. I realized that it wasn't you, because you are far too full of Light to ever become that empty Sith. I had to fight you as well...and I had to win."

They sat quietly for a few minutes while the weight of the implications of his last sentence covered them. Eventually, Rey was the one to break the silence. 

"What about Snoke?"

"The same as the end of the other one. We were in the throne room again, and he was ordering me to kill you. I was in my body but I had no control of it. I had to feel my arms strike the killing blow...this time, it wasn't Snoke."

"Wow. Yours was worse."

"At least I wasn't being completely gaslit like you."

"You had to kill me. Twice."

"Good point."

A few minutes passed in a comfortable silence, both of them lost in thought. Rey traced light shapes in the soft fabric above Ben's heart, debating on whether or not to ask the question on her mind. She took a deep breath and decided to bite the bullet.

"...hey Ben?"

"Hmm?"

"You said that I - well, she - tried to seduce you...did it work?"

"How do you mean?" 

"Did you do any of those…" she chewed on her bottom lip. " ... _ profane things _ ?"

"No! Well, not exactly. I mean, we kissed. And, uh, rubbed together, I guess?"

"And that felt good?" Rey remembered Leia telling her about types of foreplay, but she only understood it in a theoretical sense, not quite sure how certain things would actually feel.

"You have no idea," he practically moaned at the memory.

"And you...wanted me? In that... _ way _ ?"

"Are you really asking me that?"

"Yes, Ben. Stop looking at me like that. It's a completely valid question."

"Of course I did." He stared at her with his brows raised, seemingly incredulous that she could even fathom him being anything but desperately attracted to her. "But it wasn't you. I wanted you. I  _ want _ you. Still. Always. Kriff, Rey, I've never wanted anything this bad."

She surged up and crashed her mouth to his, smashing their lips and making their teeth collide roughly.

"Ow." Ben scrunched his nose at the pain as she pulled away. She stayed against his side, her chest still turned and hovering over his own.

"Sorry," she winced. "It's much different with you alive."

"That is the creepiest thing you've ever said," he smiled proudly.

"You know what I mean." She rolled her eyes and nuzzled their noses together. "You're softer now. You're more solid."

He smirked, showing off a single dimple, never taking his eyes off of her mouth. "I suppose we need the practice, then."

Rey leaned in slowly this time, brushing their lips together so softly that they barely touched each other. He let out a shaky breath and she greedily inhaled it, practically getting drunk off of the air formally gracing his lungs. 

**You're alive,** her brain played on a loop while she breathed him in. He gave a small nod in response, causing their lips to lightly rub together.

"Rey?" he said aloud, mouthed so close that Rey could swallow the rumble of his voice. 

"Yes?"

"...I love you," he murmured, finally adding the smallest amount of pressure against her lips.

**I love you too, Ben.**

The kiss was slow, gentle, taking their time the way they couldn't on Exegol. Ben's lips were softer than she remembered, tickling across hers in barely-there strokes. It was intimate, but nowhere near chaste. Sometimes Rey would sneak her tongue out and swipe it across his top lip and he would let out the smallest groan; sometimes his canine would catch on her bottom lip and tug and she would give him the neediest whimper.

Eventually the kisses turned more forceful, louder noises being swallowed and shirts being fisted tighter. Rey decided to hook a leg over his, moving to straddle his thigh. She pushed down without thinking and they both moaned loudly at the new sensation. Her brain short circuited but she managed to have two distinct thoughts. 

One, rubbing together felt very good indeed. 

Two, she was right - her giant of a man felt frighteningly large under her thigh.

They took this opportunity to look at each other and check in. Rey's face showed arousal and concern, while Ben was somewhere between incredibly turned on and mystified.

"How can  _ you  _ want  _ me  _ in this way?" Ben asked at exactly the same time Rey blurted "is that even going to fit inside me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "MAKE EM FUCK ALREADY"
> 
> \--my best friend after reading this chapter


	16. **Author Update**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER**

SO I'm sorry I don't have a chapter yet, I'm in the process of moving and haven't had time to write blah blah blah you probably don't care about the reasoning.

HOWEVER I do have *something* for you.

This story started out as drawings. I was drawing pictures of Rey and Ben being all domestic and happy (all in the same universe/timeline) and I always included little paragraphs with them. My friends wanted to know how they got there, how Ben was resurrected, I should write my own fanfic of it, etc. 

If you want to see the the drawings and blurbs, I'll post the links below.

WARNING: these have major major spoilers for how the story progresses, so look at your own risk. (The first one is not a spoiler but it's a sad one bois)

P.S. feel free to add me as a friend 🥰

[Number 1](https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3180896871929888&id=100000288202779)

[Number 2](https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3152669134752662&id=100000288202779)

[Number 3](https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3051415661544677&id=100000288202779)


	17. Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey and Ben discussed what happened to them in the World Between Worlds. Then things got heated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE YOU GO YOU PERVERTS 😘

"Is that even going to fit inside me?" Rey asked without thinking.

To say that Ben turned red would be an understatement. He blushed and sputtered while he tried to decide how to react.

Curious now, Rey titled her pelvis forward. Their hips were pressed flush together when she experimented by grinding down on his thigh. The pressure felt good in a way she had never experienced. Ben groaned and immediately had his hands tightly gripping her hips. She repeated the motion and found herself unable to stop. His dick seemed to be getting even bigger underneath her thigh until it felt harder than a rock. 

"It will fit, right?" she asked again, voice coming out breathy.

"I thin-" he started, interrupted by a gasp. "Unf, Rey, just like that. Please don't stop." His eyes rolled back in his head as his hips started lifting up to move with hers. "Yes, it will. I-I think." Another moan. "It should."

She supposed he was right; after all, she was built to give birth. Ben was definitely not as big as a baby. Theoretically, it would fit.

"We don't have to," he said quickly between groans. "Not until you're ready." 

"This feels so good," she whimpered into his jaw, leaning her hips forward so that her front rubbed against his thigh more forcefully. Wait, clitoris, that was the word. The pressure against her  _ clitoris _ felt wonderful, but it wasn't enough. "I need," she whined, pressing down harder, "I need more."

"What do you need, sweetheart?" He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, trying to focus on her words instead of her body. 

"More," was all she could say.

"More what?" 

"I don't know. I just know I need more. Please, Ben."

In response, he flipped them over and positioned himself between her legs. He crawled up and leaned in to kiss her, simultaneously grabbing one of her thighs and hitching it over his hip. He pressed down, grinding his cock over her mound.

Force, Rey thought his thigh had felt amazing, but compared to the warm hardness of his erection? No contest. She moaned into his mouth and pulled him closer using the shin that was hooked around his ass. She wondered if this was enough stimulation to give her an orgasm. 

Either way, she still wanted even more.

Ben must have heard that thought, because he whimpered against her lips.

"Can I touch you, Rey?" he asked between kisses. 

**Yes** , she thought with a nod.  **Yes please. Please.**

He traced his fingers down her neck, softly following a path from there to her hips. His fingertips started to dip under her waistband, but he abruptly pulled his hand away. 

_ Noooooooo! _

"Wait," he paused, realizing something. He pushed himself up onto his knees and reached one hand behind his head, grabbing the nape of his shirt and pulling it over his head and throwing it onto the floor.

Rey was blinded. 

She had not seen his naked chest since that night on Ahch-To, which was well over two years ago. Whenever she had fantasies, she started wondering if maybe she'd built him up in her mind. Her imagination must have taken over that memory and embellished it a bit, because there was no way that he had actually looked that good when she saw him. 

He had.

He still did.

_ Kriff _ .

"Like what you see, scavenger?" he growled, voice gravely and dilated pupils taking over his irises. At that question she felt fire race through her chest and a strange pulse in her clit.

"Stars, Ben," she whined and tilted her hips in search of that friction again, "you're magnificent."

His bravado went out the window at that compliment. He blushed and looked away, and she could tell he was going to try and argue with her. She sent all of her adoration and arousal into the bond to show that she wasn't lying. When he returned his gaze, his eyes were wide, full of love and a blazing need.

"Can I," he leaned back down and gave her a slow kiss, letting his tongue explore her pretty little mouth, "can I see you too, sweetheart?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded, too eager to remember to be self-conscious. 

His fingers nervously danced at the bottom of her shirt, as if he had to summon the courage to do it. She sat up and smiled at him comfortingly.

"It's okay, Ben," she said softly. 

She reached down and removed his hands, grabbing the shirt herself. She wore no bindings to sleep, so her breasts were exposed as soon as she lifted her shirt. She tossed it onto the floor and shook her hair out before tucking it behind her ears.

Ben was staring at her chest with the most dazed, dopey expression she had ever seen. She giggled and looked down, quickly shutting up as soon as she saw the tent in his pants. Feeling his erection and then actually seeing it were two very different things. Now she knew that it was real; she wasn't just imagining it against her. 

So much  _ want  _ flowed through the bond at both ends so strongly that they weren't sure whose feelings were whose. 

Suddenly their lips were too far apart. They crashed together and then Rey was on her back again, both legs wrapped around Ben's hips while he ground against her. The friction back on her clit, the skin on skin contact against their chests, the needy little hums he put into the kiss, it was all so  _ so  _ good.

That is, until his large hand covered her breast. Then it was so  _ so  _ great. He gently massaged it and slowly circled his thumb around her nipple, groaning against her lips. He gave it a slight pinch and a surge of pleasure shot from her nipple straight down to her cunt. 

He pulled away from her lips and moved to her jaw, trailing wet kisses down to her throat. He nibbled and sucked at her pulse point, making her squirm underneath him. He smiled against her skin as his hand left her breast and traveled lower, fingers once again ghosting under her waistband. He paused, looking up into her eyes.

**May I?**

**Kriff, yes. Yes please.**

He pushed his hand into her pants and ran his fingers down through her curls. 

"Wait, Ben," she said suddenly. He didn't pull away, just kept softly cupping her mound as he looked at her questioningly. "Please be gentle. I've never...done anything before…"

"I know, sweetheart," he smiled comfortingly. "Neither have I."

"No, I mean…" She was embarrassed, but unsure if she should be. "...to myself. I've never...masturbated. I put a finger inside once, but I didn't really enjoy it."

Ben's face looked somewhere between surprised and worried. "I won't put anything inside if you don't want me to." His middle finger pressed between her folds, gathering some wetness before circling her clit; Rey wasn't sure which one of them moaned louder from it. "I can just do this," he reached up to kiss her and whisper against her lips, "all night long."

Force, that sounded amazing. He added his pointer finger and increased the pressure, making her eyes flutter shut. He sped up his fingers and her body trembled, an overwhelming need taking over. She was on fire and she couldn't get enough.

_ It felt so good. _

"Ben?" she asked breathlessly. "How do I know if I'm having an orgasm?"

His movements stuttered before picking back up double time. Rey whined and started grinding herself harder against his fingers. 

"You'll know," he answered.

"It's too much," she gasped, "and somehow not enough."

It was so much sensation that it was overwhelming. She couldn't decide if she wanted him to stop or never stop. 

He changed up his rhythm and she decided: never stop.

"More," she moaned. "More more more!"

Suddenly his warm mouth was around one of her nipples and his tongue was doing incredible things. She let out pitchy breaths and couldn't help but wonder what that would feel like in other places.

Ben definitely heard that thought, judging by the groan that escaped him after he released her breast from the paradise of his mouth.

"Rey, please," he whimpered. "Please let me. Oh Force, please let me."

Her nod was all the permission he needed and then he was between her knees pulling off her pants. He didn't waste any time admiring the view before he buried his face into her cunt. He spread her legs and hooked her knees over his shoulders, framing his face with her soft thighs. His tongue lapped at her wetness greedily like he needed it to survive. He licked and sucked at her clit until she was just a shaking, whimpering mess. His tongue was swirling around her clit and shallowly poking inside of her, so wet and warm she couldn't stand it. 

**You taste so good** , Ben whined through the bond.  **You taste so kriffing good, Rey.**

He was going at her so fervently that she was genuinely worried he might suffocate. As if to prove her wrong, he took an exaggerated inhale through his nose where it was buried in her mound. He exhaled through his mouth, hot air covering her sex before he closed his lips around her clit and sucked.

It was so good so good so good but also not enough and all she knew was that she needed  _ more _ . She threaded her fingers through his soft hair and held him tighter to her.

He loudly moaned against her cunt.  **Force, Rey! Tighter. Unf, just like that, sweetheart. Oh gods, I want you to come for me. Please, come on my face.**

Rey's body shook uncontrollably at his words. Needy noises poured from her mouth, high pitched and desperate. She panted in between her cries of  _ moremoremore  _ until she felt like she couldn't breathe. She didn't realize she was gasping so much until her tongue started feeling an uncomfortable stickiness; her mouth had not been this dry since she lived on Jakku, almost constantly dehydrated.

**Do you need water?** Ben wondered through the bond, feeling her slight discomfort.

"No! Don’t stop! Don’t stop - don’t ever kriffing stop - if you stop I’ll kill you."

Ben chuckled against her, and  _ oh Force that vibration.  _ Her fingers twisted painfully tighter in his hair and she started grinding herself against his tongue and it was  _ too much too much too much  _ but she couldn’t stop because  _ something _ was building and it was  _ so close  _ and  _ - _

_ OHHH. _

A warm, otherworldly pleasure unlike anything she'd ever experienced started where his mouth was suckling and spread throughout her entire body. The relief it brought had tears prickling at her eyes and she was seeing stars that weren’t unlike the view when jumping into lightspeed. A long moan that vaguely sounded like Ben’s name poured from her lips and somewhere in the back of her head she noted that her body had never felt this good in her entire life. She wished that she could just lie here forever with the waves of delight still crashing over her. 

When it did end, it brought a different feeling of relief. Ben sensed that it really was too much this time and thankfully pulled away, pressing soft kisses to her inner thigh before resting his head on her tummy. Her body felt boneless and her eyes could barely stay open. She wasn’t sure that the smile would ever leave her face.

"Was that...did I do okay?" Ben asked awkwardly, face somehow paler and redder than usual at the same time. “I mean, I know you...finished...I  _ felt  _ you - I did too.”

Rey sat up on her elbows, looking down at him with an equally flushed face. “You did too...Just from kissing me there?”

"I did when you did," he nodded, crawling up over her. "It was at the exact same time." He nosed at her neck and placed a kiss to the shell of her ear before grazing her lobe with his teeth, lightly pushing her back down to the pillow. “I think that we...we might share orgasms..?”

She suddenly felt overheated from his voice in her ear, whispering all low and husky. Her clit throbbed in sudden excitement. Ben started laughing and fell on top of her, still managing to keep most of his weight on his own forearms. 

"What's so funny?" Rey giggled herself, but his sweaty body pressed against hers was not helping to calm the desire pooling low in her belly.

"You are," he said between breathy laughs. "Force, you're already ready to go again."

"Is that a problem, Solo?" she questioned, running her fingers through his hair and lightly grazing his scalp with her nails. He shuddered and she felt his softened cock twitch against her thigh. "Because it feels like I'm not the only one."

He looked up at her with hooded eyes blown black from arousal. He suddenly threw his arm out towards the fresher connected to their room. He twisted his wrist and she heard the faucet turn on, stopping after a few seconds. A cup floated towards them and right into Ben's awaiting hand. He took a swig of the water and then offered it to Rey with a smirk. 

"Better hydrate then, sweetheart."


	18. Thirst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Ben had his first taste of the forbidden fruit, and our sweet baby Rey had her first orgasm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a longer chapter, but I haven't posted in a while so I decided to break it into 2 different chapters, so I apologize for the length (that's what Ben said 😉)

While Rey gulped down the rest of the water, Ben fidgeted uncomfortably in bed next to her. Something about his pants seemed to feel unpleasant for him.

"Could you, um," he mumbled awkwardly, "would you look away for a second?"

She was confused, but did as he asked. She felt him shifting next to her, pulling off his sleep pants. He made an annoyed sound under his breath as he used his bottoms to wipe off his lap. She kept her gaze averted, but still sensed the movement next to her.

"Okay, thank you," he said, "you can turn back now."

"What was that about?" she wondered, genuinely curious.

"I uh…" Ben blushed. "...when I…"

It hit her. " _ Oh. _ "

"Yeah."

Rey looked down in embarrassment, and then quickly realized Ben was now as naked as she was. His dick wasn't hard anymore, and only a little bit smaller than it had looked through his pants a few minutes before. Leia had explained to her that penises grow during an erection; but kriff, even soft it still looked intimidating...and also pretty? Most dicks she had seen gave her a gross feeling, but Ben's was strangely attractive to her. It was long and fairly thick, slightly more pink than the rest of his skin. The base was surrounded by neatly trimmed black hair and the shaft rested comfortably on his testes with the head hanging just below them.

Rey wanted to touch it. 

She froze when she realized she was already reaching out to do just that. 

"Ben, can I-"

"Yes," he cut her off, nodding vigorously. "Yes, I beg of you."

They both shuddered when her fingers made contact with the silky skin of his cock. It was softer than she expected, in more ways than one. She had the strangest urge to squeeze the head and find out if it squished in the same way as her breasts.

Ben laughed, catching her thought. "Please don't."

She looked down in embarrassment, cheeks flaming. "Give me a break, Ben. I only just received the sex talk this afternoon. Leia covered the logistics, but I managed to escape when she got to sensations."

Ben shot her a look that clearly said  _ are you really talking to me about my mother with my dick still in your hand? _

Rey dropped her hold on him and recoiled as if it had burned her. 

"Don't worry," he mumbled, using his hand to cover most of his face, "Han was very thorough when he taught me about that part. He spent far too long telling me how to satisfy a woman."

Rey giggled at the mental image of Han having The Talk with him, picturing a teenage version of Ben blushing furiously with a pillow over his face. 

Ben saw what she was imagining and chuckled. "You're not far off."

She was presented with his memory of the event. He was reading a book when Han sat on the edge of his bed.  _ Son,  _ Han had said,  _ it's time that I tell you about sex. It. Is. Awesome. _

Rey and Ben both dissolved in a fit of laughter at the scene. They collapsed into each other giggling, skin rubbing against skin and lips ghosting against necks until suddenly they weren't laughing anymore. Ben let out a pitchy puff of air before Rey even realized that his cock was back in her hand and stirring to life.

She pulled her face away to see what she was doing. She wanted to watch his dick become erect. She wanted to feel it harden in her palm. She wanted to feel it become heavy on her tongue.

_ Oh. _

The need to taste him became overwhelming. 

"I want," she said breathlessly, her eyes still on his cock as she softly stroked it, "I want to do what you did to me."

His growing dick jumped as an overwhelming amount of lust flooded through him. He licked his lips and nodded at her, knuckles white where he was clutching the sheets. His arms shook with the effort it took for him to stay still.

"You can relax, Ben." Rey lifted her empty hand to gently brush her finger along where the tendons of his neck were straining against his skin. He shuddered and grit his teeth.

"I can't relax," he hissed, closing his eyes. 

"Why not?" 

He was fully hard now and had already started leaking precum, which she swiped with her thumb and spread down his cock. Her movements sped up and she wondered how his wetness would taste.

He shuddered. "Because if I relax, I'm just going to grab your hair and shove your head down into my lap. I don't want to make you do that."

Rey's cunt clenched at the image.  _ Perhaps they could try the rough way another time… _

Ben caught that and let out the most embarrassingly high-pitched whimper, a fresh batch of precum pooling at his slit. 

"I  _ want _ to do it, Ben," she said softly, crawling down his body until she was face to face with his pretty cock, "but we're going to do it my way."

She leaned in and gave the tip a tentative lick. His taste was intoxicating. She swirled her tongue around the head and decided that everything about him was made specifically for her, right down to the tangy, salty sweetness from his drooling cock. Her mouth slowly took more of him in until she was meeting her fist with every stroke. Her tongue curled around his shaft and she sucked the tip greedily every time she reached it.

Above her, Ben was moaning out the filthiest praise and nonsense. 

"Gods, you feel so good, Rey. Look at you, unf, you take my cock so well. Ah, just like that, sweetheart. You're so perfect. Force, do that again. Yes,  _ kriff _ , don't stop. Don't ever stop. Take me deeper, I know you can. Swallow my cock, yes,  _ hmmn _ , my greedy little scavenger. Take it all, it's all yours.  _ Oh, kriff! _ Touch yourself. Do it for me, please. Ugh, please please please touch yourself." Meanwhile, Rey was panting around his cock, already rubbing her clit furiously. He looked down at her and groaned deep in his chest. " _ Inside _ . Put your finger inside of you, sweetheart, please. I'm begging you. Come on your fingers for me."

**I'd rather come on yours,** she thought back with a moan.

And then Rey's mouth was empty and she was on her back at the foot of the bed. Ben steadied himself over her, hair disheveled and eyes wild with lust.

"Tell me what you want," he ordered, voice even lower than usual.

She wanted his fingers inside of her or his dick back in her mouth; everything felt so empty. His hands were braced on either side of her face and she thought of a compromise. Before he knew what she was doing, she was holding his left wrist and sucking on his pointer and middle fingers like she would die if she didn't. Ben let out a long groan and dropped his hips to hers, grinding his slick cock between their sweaty bodies.

"Tell me," he grunted, "what you want."

**You know what I want** , she thought back coyly, releasing his fingers from her mouth with a pop and directing his hand lower.

"I need to hear you say it, sweetheart," he murmured, toying at the curls above her groin.

She took a deep breath. "I want you to finger me, Ben. Prep me. Get me ready."

"Ready for what?" he asked hopefully.

"Ready for you," she breathed out. "I want you to make love to me, Ben Solo."

His lips found hers while the fingers she had previously sucked on were now exploring between her folds. She was so wet that she felt it dripping down her leg, so it was easy enough for Ben to bury his middle finger in her to his first knuckle. She flinched and he immediately looked at her face in worry.

"It's fine," she assured him. "It doesn't really hurt, it just feels foreign."

"Tell me if I need to stop." He slowly slid in deeper until his entire finger was engulfed inside her cunt. 

She breathed out a pained-sounding laugh. "Your finger is bigger than mine."

"Is that okay?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded. "It feels more invasive than painful. A little uncomfortable."

"I'm going to try something. Do you trust me?"

"Absolutely."

Ben stirred his finger around inside of her, curling his knuckle like he was searching for something.

He found it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I've been unknowingly portraying Rey as somewhere on the grey-asexual spectrum (like I am) but it seems fitting?? She only has eyes for Ben anyway???
> 
> ALSO I'm gonna start accepting prompts that I deem fit for the story I have planned, so if you have any suggestions or phrase-prompts or anything you'd like to see, comment them 🖤


	19. Fantasies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> You already know what they've been doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm now accepting prompts! As long as I think it fits into this world, I'll gladly write it! Situations, quotes, whatever. Pleaseeeee comment ideas!

Ben curled his finger inside of Rey and pressed against her inner walls, finding a spot that elicited a jolt and a surprised moan.

"Ben! What was that?!"

He smiled devilishly and rubbed that spot again, making her gasp and her entire body shiver. 

"It's called your g-spot. It's sort of against the back of your clit," he said as he slowly slipped his pointer finger inside of her cunt along with his other. Two fingers was a tight squeeze, but Force, she took them beautifully. 

"Ah! It feels," Rey panted, "it doesn't hurt as much as I expected. It feels so good, Ben."

"It's uh, easier when you've already had an orgasm," Ben explained, the awkwardness in his voice almost completely dwarfed by his pure arousal. "You're wetter and more relaxed."

He started curling both fingers and massaging the area that made her see stars, causing her eyes to roll back in her head. While he tended to her g-spot, his thumb found her clit and started rubbing. He tried different methods, skimming the bond to determine which combinations she liked best. He settled on flicking his thumb up and down, and moved his mouth to her tits and used his tongue to simultaneously replicate the movement on her nipples. 

It wasn't long before Rey felt that overwhelming sensation building, which she now knew meant that she was about to have an orgasm. She smiled in ecstacy because she was  _ so close  _ to that release again. It was  _ right there. _

And then Ben removed his mouth and slid his fingers out of her before pulling away completely, gasping frantically.

"BEN!" she shouted in frustration. She was going to kill him. Despite all of the work it took to bring him back, she was going to kill him. "I was just about to come!"

"We can't--" he panted, "-- _ I can't  _ come yet. I won't be able to…" he motioned from his drooling cock to her dripping core. "Men don't have the same kind of stamina as women. We don't recoup as quickly."

"Oh. Right." Her head flopped back down to the bed with a sigh. 

"I just need a second," he mumbled, scrunching his eyes. He looked pained. 

While Rey waited, she stared at her beautiful soulmate heaving in front of her. She became mesmerised by the sweat shining across his face, along with the droplets that cascaded down his wide chest. His nipples were perked up from being so turned on and his abs clenched with every labored breath he took. Her clit throbbed and her walls gripped around nothing. 

Force, she felt empty. 

"Bennnn," she whined. "I need you. I can take you now. I want to come; I want you inside of me when  _ we _ come."

Ben whimpered. "I want to prepare you more first. I don't want to hurt you, sweetheart; I want to make you feel good. I want--wait...you said come inside of you...that means...KRIFF!"

"What?!" Rey matched his sudden panic.

"We don't have any condoms!" he exclaimed. 

"Oh," she sighed, calming down. "It's okay, Ben. I have an implant."

"Thank Force," he breathed out. "Wait. Why? When?"

"They offered them on the Resistance base." She shrugged. "Menstruation can interfere with training, so a lot of women got them. It was very convenient."

"Yes," he nodded slowly, staring at her wolfishly while his dick strained against his stomach. "Yes it is."

He pulled her to him and fell backwards, letting her land on top of him. Their lips connected before his head even hit the pillow. One large hand threaded in the hair at the back of her head to hold her tighter into the searing kiss, while the other roughly kneaded her ass, fingers dangerously close to the opening of her cunt. Her own hands were scratching angry red lines down his chest while the rest of her was pretty much just along for the ride.

Rey wasn't so sure what suddenly turned his actions more forceful and urgent, but she wasn't complaining. In fact, the possessive emotions running through his side of the bond turned her on immensely.

"Tell me, scavenger," he growled in her ear, leaving her lips in order to suck marks into the skin of her neck, "when you got the implant, did you ever imagine using it for this? Did you ever fantasize about me ravaging you?"

She ground down on the underside of his cock, her slick heat making him whine. Fire lit up her eyes at the power that swelled inside of her. "Of course I did. I might have loathed Kylo Ren, but I fantasized about Ben Solo a lot."

He bucked up against her roughly at the confirmation. "What did you imagine?"

"Stars, Ben, where do I start?"

"That much?"

"Even more. One of my favorite fantasies was of you taking me in that turbolift."

"That was one of mine too," he commented as he effortlessly slid two fingers back inside her molten core. "When was the first time you thought of me that way?"

Her eyes widened with a gasp at the sudden intrusion, quickly replaced with a smile as she moved her hips to meet his thrusts. "It was, ah! Unf, it was," she closed her eyes and moaned, "when The Force connected us when you didn't have a shirt on. That was the night I tried to finger myself. I, hnng, didn't know that I was supposed to -- ahhh -- to rub my clit though."

Ben looked up at her in wonder, eyes filled with so much confusion and love. "You mean, the first time you tried to masturbate, it was to thoughts of..." he had to pause and take a deep breath. "...it was to me?"

"The first and only time," she nodded. "But I didn't like it...and I knew that you..." she looked down and blushed. "...I knew that you would be better at touching me than I was. I knew that you would feel so much better than my own finger."

With a delighted, honored groan, Ben rolled them over and caught her in a soft kiss, returning his fingers into her cunt and immediately scissoring them.

"I love you so much, sweetheart," he whispered against her lips.

"I love you too," she murmured back, voice breathy.

Their tongues slowly tangled together while his fingers diligently stretched her walls, his other hand tending to her breasts. He avoided her g-spot, not wanting to trigger an orgasm before he had a chance to get inside of her.

He chuckled against her lips. "Kriff, my dick is so jealous of my fingers right now."

"Aren't I ready yet?" she groaned in frustration, bucking against his knuckles.

"I don't know," he smiled deviantly, slipping a third finger into her, "are you?"


	20. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They gon' fuck
> 
> Also: I am now accepting Reylo/normal ship prompts for this story! Please please please comment any you have! 
> 
> And I'm probably going to start doing some time jumps soon, so watch for that

* * *

Three fingers. 

Ben had three fingers inside of Rey.

She tensed up in surprise when the third one first entered, clenching around him at the uncomfortable stretch.

"It's okay, sweetheart," he cooed, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of her nose. "Relax, Rey. You're okay. I've got you."

She exhaled deeply. She loosened her muscles. She looked up into her soulmate's dark eyes. She felt the amount of care he was giving her through his gaze alone. She relaxed. She welcomed his fingers into her body. 

"I'm okay," she agreed with a nod. 

"Does it hurt?" he wondered, skimming through the bond to gauge her pain level.

"Only a little."

"Do you want to stop?"

"Absolutely not."

Ben grinned at her answer and slowly slid his fingers out. He traced up around her clit and teased her folds, gathering more of her slick before he pressed back in. The room was silent save for their heavy panting and the wet sounds of his fingers pumping in and out of her core.

"Force, Rey, you're soaked," he moaned. "Is that for me, sweetheart? Are you this wet for me?"

"Only for you," she replied with a whimper. "Always for you."

" _ Mine, _ " Ben growled under his breath, more to himself than to her. He looked down at his hand and marveled at the way her soft folds parted for him. Only for him. "My sweet, perfect Rey, so pretty and pink and dripping down my fingers."

He watched as he pumped his fingers a few more times, mesmerised by the way they disappeared in and out of her cunt. He was staring at the sight so intently that she was sure that a meteor could crash into their room and he wouldn't even notice.

Rey groaned in frustration. "I'm ready, Ben. I'm done waiting. I can take you. I want you.  _ Now. _ "

When he looked up, his eyes were nearly black with lust. He was so far gone that all he could do was nod in response. He settled between her legs and leaned down to give her a chaste kiss. Whispered  _ I love you _ 's were exchanged against lips before he lined himself up with her. He slid the tip of his cock between her folds a few times, slicking himself up before he started to press into her. 

Rey was prepared for it to hurt, so she wasn't surprised at the initial stinging pain when his head pushed past the resistance of her hymen. He paused with his tip inside of her, both of them breathing heavily. He pushed himself up on his forearms and looked down at where they were joined, one hand on her hip to tilt her pelvis up. She followed his lead, reaching down to press her mons flat for a better view.

Stars, he looked so big against her -- even his hand dwarfed her hip where he held it. 

"It's going to fit," he assured her, feeling her hesitation. He slid in another inch, her walls parting for him; she ground her teeth at the feeling of impalement. "Am I hurting you?"

"You've hurt me worse sparring," she teased, breath coming out forced.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" he said flatly.

"Yes." She quirked her eyebrow in defiance. "You really think you've ever hurt me, Solo?"

He grinned at that and pushed in another inch. They moaned loudly at the same time.

He was so  _ big. _

She was so  _ tight. _

Ben's hips slowly continued their journey, occasionally pulling backwards a few centimeters in order to push in further. He would pause every few seconds, both to let Rey adjust to the size and to let himself calm down so he wouldn't immediately come inside her like a teenager. 

Rey was awed that she could welcome another person into her body like this, let alone Ben.  _ Her Ben. _

Ben was amazed as well, still in disbelief that he was entering the warm safety of her body. Inch by inch, he was becoming part of Rey.  _ His Rey. _

They were already One in spirit, but now their bodies were finally merging as well. 

It was glorious. 

They were both so distracted by the new sensations that they barely registered that The Force was swirling and singing around them, stronger and louder with every inch. 

When he finally bottomed out, pelvises flush together, something unexpected happened. A shivering sensation washed through both of their bodies, similar to an orgasm but not quite as intense.

This was right. 

This was home.

The universe was balanced. 

"What--" Rey mumbled, practically incoherent while she adjusted to the stretch of him mixed with the pleasure of whatever they were feeling, "--what is this? Is this normal?"

"I don't…" Ben pulled out ever so slightly, primal feelings on the back burner while he tested something. The waves of pleasure ceased, only to return as soon as he pressed back in fully with a groan. "...I don't think so. This, ungh, doesn't seem normal. It feels like something else."

"Is it--" she threw her head back, sighing at the miniature orgasm. "It's The Force, isn't it? A Dyad thing?"

"I think, ahh, I think so." Ben buried his face in the crook of her neck, using all of his control to keep from mindlessly rutting into her while she still adjusted to the feel of his cock. "Do you feel it too, then? Around us?"

"I do," she whispered in his ear, hands coming to rest on his lower back. "This is right." 

"It is. This is home." He looked up at her, tears in his eyes. "You are my home, Rey."

She smiled and tucked his hair behind his ear, moisture welling up in her own eyes. "As you are mine, Ben."

Tears collected in their lashes while their lips met for a passionate kiss. She squeezed his hips, encouraging him to start moving. He pulled out slowly, leaving only the tip inside. They both whined at the loss -- of sensation as well as the waves of pleasure. He pushed back in slightly faster, once again blessing them with that feeling of pure  _ rightness.  _ It continued like that for a few more passes set at a gentle pace, the same strange sensation coming and going with every thrust.

_ In. _

_ Out. _

_ Home. _

_ Loss. _

_ Right.  _

_ Empty _ .

_ Balanced. _

Soon, every pass became easier and easier, Rey becoming wetter and more relaxed with every one. The initial pain had given way to the delicious pleasure of the stretch, of the incomprehensible feeling of fullness that radiated into her bones. She and Ben were so connected that she couldn't even fathom how it once felt to be alone. He was inside her, just as he'd always been -- granted, it was a little bit more literal at the moment. With every soft bump to her cervix, she seemed to unlock a memory of her past that included Ben's presence. She remembered being a young girl with Unkar Plutt, feeling the cold sting of the moment Ben first fell to the Dark Side. She remembered dreams and nightmares of a faceless man with a rich baritone, always promising to come back for her. She remembered there was always one specific day every standard year where she felt a little less alone -- as if some unseen force were pumping her full of every positive emotion they could think of.

"Your birthday," Ben murmured, lifting his head from where it was buried in her neck. "That day was your birthday."

"How," she sighed in pleasure, "how do you know? I don't even know my birthday."

He settled deep inside of her and paused to look into her eyes. "Because the day you were born was the first time I had ever felt full. I knew the day was sacred, so every year I pumped as much gratefulness into whatever it was that gave me that feeling." He leaned down for a kiss. "Your birth is the only thing that makes sense, now."

Rey threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him tighter to her. She kissed him hungrily through her tears and wrapped her legs around his ass, grinding her hips in an attempt to make him move. He got the memo and started back up.

"More, Ben, please," she whimpered. 

He stopped long enough to untangle her legs and put them over his shoulders. He tipped her pelvis up so that she was almost fully folded in on herself. He lined himself back up and curled over her for a long kiss. When he pushed back in all the way, the new position made Rey scream. He grinned like a devil and started thrusting in a harder rhythm. Every graze against her g-spot made her eyes roll back in her head and see stars. 

She began to meet him thrust for thrust until their pace became frantic, both of them seeing relief on the horizon. The force sang around them and their power swelled until every object in the room either shook or hovered in the air. They were building to something that felt much more important than a simple orgasm. 

It was right.

It was home.

It was  _ balance. _

Ben's hand snaked between them and found her clit, and Rey was done for. They came together with a flash of white in their eyes, rising and ascending until they felt like they were one with The Force -- one single, ray of Light. 

The orgasm seemed unending. Their pleasure came in waves, cresting only to ebb away and immediately roll back in. Rey had no idea if they were multiple orgasms or just one long continuous one, but neither of them seemed to care which. Ben had long since filled her up, but the magnificent rush did not stop when his cock did. They ended up rolling onto their sides, Ben still inside of her, smiling hugely at each other while they still giggled through the orgasms. 

Eventually though, it did end. Ben had to pull out his softening dick and they both whined at the loss. Rey settled against his chest and they snuggled in silence for a few minutes.

"That probably isn't normal either, huh?" Rey finally spoke. "I have a feeling orgasms don't usually last that long."

Ben chuckled. "Certainly not any that I've had."

"That was incredible, by the way. We are definitely doing it again," she grinned.

"A lot," Ben agreed. "We are definitely going to be doing it a lot."

_ ~ Meanwhile, on Chandrila ~ _

Finn was half asleep in his boyfriend's arms when he felt it. He shot up in bed, waking Poe in the process. 

"What's wrong?" Poe asked, his worried voice husky with sleep.

"There was a powerful surge in The Force just now," Finn answered.

"A disturbance?" Poe's eyes widened and he moved to sit up.

"No," Finn's eyebrows creased. Poe deflated back into the pillow. "No, not a disturbance. The opposite. Everything is suddenly  _ right.  _ It's like everything slightly shifted and it feels more balanced."

"Balanced how?" Poe mumbled.

"I don't know. Kind of like there's an uneasy agreement between the Light and the Dark. Like there was a union between the two, balancing it out."

Poe sat up in bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. "So," he yawned, "Rey and Ben just fucked."


	21. Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Our space babies are no longer virgins! They brought some balance to The Force! Finn felt that balance! Poe suggested that Ben was alive again, among other things!

Ben awoke from the most tranquil sleep that he had ever known with a smile on his face. Rey,  _ his Rey,  _ was sound asleep in his arms, her face only mere inches away from his. He had never seen her look so peaceful while unconscious, and he had spent nearly half of his afterlife holding her in his arms while she slept, watching over her for signs of Dark dreams. For the first time since he'd died, she slept calmly without a care in the universe.

They had crossed a beautiful line the night before -- one so significant that he still felt the echo of it in The Force. He could tell that their actions had rippled out so far that any Force-sensitive individual would have felt the rightness of what happened between them. He knew that the two of them had, somehow, brought a sense of balance to The Force. 

He suddenly remembered something that Obi-Wan had told Rey before the ritual:

_ When you and Ben finally joined together, it sent a magnitude of power throughout The Force. _

Ben considered that for a moment. If the two of them merely joining forces had sent out a surge of power that intense, he could not even imagine how much stronger a magnitude it was when they joined bodies. Their union was finally,  _ finally, _ complete in every possible way. 

They were One in mind.

They were One in body.

They were One in soul.

And Ben was the luckiest man in the entire kriffing galaxy. He could not think of a single thing that he had ever done to deserve the love of someone like Rey. He  _ didn't _ deserve her, in fact. As far as he was concerned, he deserved to die a lonely, painful death on Exegol. Instead, he died with her hand in his and the taste of her lips on his tongue. He died  _ happy.  _ He died with more than just her love -- he had her  _ devotion _ . Not only did someone care about him enough to dedicate themselves to bringing him back to life, but that someone was  _ Rey. _ She was strong and kind and fierce and everything Ben aspired to be. She was perfect, and by some precious miracle granted by The Force, she was  _ his. _

He continued to watch her as she -- his Rey, his soulmate -- slept peacefully in front of him. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He took a moment to memorize the dusting of freckles across the bridge of her small nose, courtesy of the blazing Jakku sun. Her dark lashes casted long shadows across her high cheekbones in the morning light streaming through their window. Her lips, plump and pink, parted with every easy breath she took.

Ben had the sudden urge to kiss her. He leaned in without thinking, stopping centimeters away from her mouth in hesitation. Did he really want to wake her? She was sleeping so soundly, but stars, he wanted to feel her lips on his so badly. He was wavering in front of her mouth when her lips twitched into a smile. 

"Well if you won't do it," she murmured, eyes still closed, "I will."

He was softly chuckling at her when her hand found the back of his neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss. His mouth was slightly open from his laugh, and she took that opportunity to sneak her tongue into it. Her tongue teased at his, deepening the kiss and making him shiver. Kriff, how did the air she breathed into his mouth taste so good in the morning? If his breath was bad, she didn't seem to notice or care; she just kept kissing him like she was poisoned and the antidote was under his tongue. 

She climbed on top of him without breaking the kiss, straddling his still naked waist and -- oh no. He had already been erect when he woke up, and her incessant licking into his mouth did not help. His dick was painfully hard and he hoped to all the gods in the universe that she wouldn't be disgusted by how turned on he already was.

" _ Oh!" _ she squeaked joyfully in surprise once she felt him. "Good morning to you too, Ben." She grinned devilishly against his lips and rocked her heat across the underside of his cock. She was already slick and aroused too. His brain misfired. "Ready for more, huh?"

He swallowed hard and nodded, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. She pressed down a little harder and ground against his cock again. His hips lifted off the bed to meet her and he let out a shaky exhale. 

"I was wondering something," she mused, pulling her face a few inches away. "Do you think those reactions were just a one-time thing? Like, perhaps it was The Force celebrating the final step of our union or something?"

Ben hadn't even considered that as a possibility. He hoped not. 

He really  _ really _ hoped not.

_ Only one way to find out. _

"We should test it out," he smirked, slowly grazing his hand down her face, "you know, for scientific purposes."

Rey giggled and quickly put on a serious face and nodded. "I agree. Strictly for science."

She broke into the most adorable smile that set Ben's body ablaze. He roughly pulled her lips back down to him, biting at them until she let him into her mouth with a gasp. His hand slid between them and he pressed two fingers into her, and  _ kriff _ she was already  _ so _ wet and warm. They groaned into each other's mouths at the feeling. He circled her clit with his thumb while his other fingers pushed in further, and she dropped her head into the crook of his neck.

"Is this okay?" he panted, curling his fingers.

She hummed in pleasure when he grazed her g-spot and nodded against his jaw. "I'm still a bit sore, but it's good, it's so good, Ben."

He used his free hand to brush her hair out of her face, caressing the shell of her ear while he tucked it behind. "Tell me if you need to stop." 

He slowly pulled his fingers out before sliding back in gently, not wanting to hurt her. He did this a few more times before she bit into his neck with a whine.

"Faster," she urged, thrusting her hips back to meet his fingers. He complied and soon he had a third finger inside of her without her even noticing.

"Do you want my cock, sweetheart?" he whispered into her ear in a low voice. "You're ready to take it."

Rey sat up straight and nodded drunkenly. He went to flip them over but she pushed his chest back down. She hovered over him and grabbed his dick, maneuvering herself until the tip was pressed right at her entrance. She slowly began to lower herself onto his cock, and  _ oh, _ this was so much better than any fantasy he'd ever had. The image of her riding him on the Sith Throne was nothing --  _ nothing --  _ compared to this; the view of Rey above him, sinking down on his length and biting her lip, sweat beaded across her small, perky tits, her folds spreading beautifully around him, her clit throbbing behind a few pubic curls just begging for attention, all with the Naboo landscape peeking through their castle's window behind her, now  _ that  _ was something Ben wanted burned into his memory.

When he was fully enveloped in her tight heat, the same orgasmic sensation from the night before set in. Rey let out a sigh of relief, now knowing that it wasn't a single isolated event.

"Oh, thank Force," Ben moaned at the same time. "Thank the kriffing stars."

"I'm never getting off of you," Rey said with a smile, throwing her head back as she started rocking her hips. "Gonna stay here forever with you inside of me."

"Fine with me," Ben agreed, desperately trying to keep his hips still while she adjusted to the stretch. 

Once she felt comfortable, Rey began experimenting with her movements. She tried grinding back and forth, bouncing up and down, leaning back, leaning forward, and stirring her hips in a circular motion. It took her a minute or two, but she finally seemed to find a rhythm that she liked best. Ben planted his feet on the bed, lifting his thighs up for her ass to rest against while she rode him, her hands on his chest holding her weight.

"Touch me, Ben," she whined. "Please touch me."

His hands, which were previously gripping the bedsheets, immediately lifted to caress her body. One hand moved to palm her breasts, cradling the weight of one in his palms while his fingers worked her pebbled nipple. His other hand slid between them to finally attend to her poor, swollen clit. She continued to ride him until her movements slowed and she started to slump onto his chest in a whimpering heap, too distracted by pleasure to continue.

"Rey, sweetheart," Ben panted, using the hand that wasn't rubbing her to grab her wrist. He pulled her hand down to her cunt, pressing her fingers against her clitoris and removing his own. "Take over."

A beat skipped before she resumed the ministrations on herself, while his hands gripped her hips. He held her still and began to thrust into her. She happily squealed while he drilled into her, drowning out the sound of his grunts and heavy breaths. 

"Ben," she gasped out, "Ben, can we come? Please, I want to come so bad. I know you're close."

Ben would do anything for her. If Rey wanted them to come, they were going to come. He let go of her hips with one hand and used it to prop himself into a sitting position. He used the leverage to drive his cock into her with more force, albeit slower. Kriff, he really  _ was _ close. 

"Kiss me, Rey," he begged between groans.

She used the hand that wasn't going to town on herself to tightly grab the hair at the back of his head and pull him into a rough kiss. Teeth clashed and lips snagged and hot moans were swallowed and it was  _ exactly  _ what he needed. His orgasm crashed into him without warning and he began to spill into her with a strangled yelp. It hit her at the same time and both of her hands flew to his shoulders to steady herself. As the pleasure coarsed through them, she pressed her forehead against his and started to softly caress his face. The fingers of her right hand were still slick and smelled like her and it was  _ so good  _ that Ben mindlessly turned his head to catch them in his mouth. Kriff, Rey's cunt was the best thing he had ever tasted in his entire life. While he greedily sucked her fingers, he decided that he would gladly live out the rest of his days with his face buried between her legs if she would let him. 

"I would," she giggled, still shivering through their endless orgasm. "You're a master with that tongue of yours."

He was pretty sure he shot out another small spurt of come at that compliment. He grinned around her fingers and used his tongue to tease the crease between them, copying a few tricks he knew she liked on her cunt. She let out a needy little whine and her walls clenched around his cock. 

He chuckled as he finally released her fingers. He carefully lay back down with her pressed against his chest, careful not to let himself slip out of her. They were both occasionally twitching, still riding out the waves of indescribable pleasure. This orgasm seemed to last longer than the first, if that was even possible...

...not that either of them were complaining.


	22. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Finn felt Rey and Ben "join forces" or, as Poe so eloquently suggested, felt them "fuck"
> 
> We also had a Ben POV of how precious Rey is while she sleeps, how much she means to him, and how kriffing good she feels on top of him 🤭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently the notifications aren't working for everyone, so make sure you didn't miss the last chapter! 🥰

_ ~ The night before, on Chandrila ~ _

Poe sat up in bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. "So," he yawned, "Rey and Ben just fucked."

"What does 'fucked' mean?" Finn asked in confusion.

Poe laughed and winked at his boyfriend. "Remind me to teach you more curse words."

His statement registered in Finn's mind in stages. 

"Oh.  _ OH.  _ No, nononono I did  _ not  _ just feel them have sex. No way. Besides, Kylo -- I mean Ben -- is dead."

Poe nodded thoughtfully in silence for a few moments. "You're right. There is no way even Rey could bring someone back from the dead."

"No," Finn sighed, his unwavering belief in his best friend suddenly an annoyance, "Rey  _ could.  _ Rey could do anything she set her mind to. Kriff, he is alive, isn't he?"

"You're the one with all of that Force witchery; you tell me."

"I need to call her."

Finn threw his legs over the edge of the bed as he reached for his holophone. His wrist was stalled by Poe's grasp before he could reach it.

"Before you do that," Poe said warily, letting go of Finn now that he had his attention. "I need to ask you something first. Do you trust Rey enough to trust Kylo Ren?"

"I trust Rey with my life," he said quickly, voice adamant. 

"Yeah, but," Poe looked off to the side, "this whole Ben Solo thing could be a trick. He could be fooling Rey."

Finn shook his head. "There is no fooling Rey. Besides, they really  _ are  _ a Dyad. I've felt it -- their combined power." His eyes widened as the realization washed over him. "Come to think of it, that's exactly what I felt just now. I felt them join forces on Exegol before, and--"

"--and you felt them boning just now, go on."

_ "I swear to all the gods, Poe, I will kill you in your sleep." _

Poe laughed and climbed across the bed until he was dramatically draped over Finn's lap. "Is that what you felt or not?"

"I felt rightness. I felt balance. I felt them…unite."

"So they fucked."

_ "Stop.  _ All I know for sure is that The Force feels gray. Not in a bad way, but... _ balanced. Right. _ Those are the only words that can describe this." He looked down at Poe's head on his thighs and realized that he'd been mindlessly running his fingers through his thick curls. Poe was a little shit and didn't deserve it, but he kept petting him anyway. "The Light and Dark aren't at war with each other anymore, but at peace. A harmonious coexistence.  _ Something  _ brought the two sides together."

"So what are you saying, Finn?" Poe asked, practically purring from the attention at his scalp.

"Either Ben Solo is alive with Rey," he took a deep breath, "or another dyad has risen."

"You're right," Poe stated solemnly, "you definitely need to call her…"

"I do," Finn agreed.

Poe broke out in a grin. "...and congratulate her on the sex." That earned him a playful smack on the back of his head. "But wait until morning to call." He turned his head so that he was nosing at Finn's crotch, hot breath and open-mouthed kisses against his dick through his sleep pants. "I have a few more swear words I want to teach you first-hand."

_ ~ Currently, on Naboo ~ _

Rey was starting to think she could get used to living a mundane, domestic life; as long as it was with Ben, of course. They had gotten out of bed shortly after their morning fun to use the fresher and get cleaned up, where Rey had the best shower she had ever experienced. There was more blood between her legs than she expected, but it barely phased her because the water pressure was  _ so good.  _ Sure, after growing up on Jakku any water at all was a luxury, but this entire fresher was ridiculously fancy and even bigger than her old quarters at the Resistance base. 

Once they were both feeling clean and shiny, they made their way to the kitchen. Ben took the time to teach Rey how to make jogan fruit pancakes, his favorite childhood breakfast. They were a little bit more complex than cooking portions, so naturally she burned a few. They still tasted better than anything Rey had eaten in months (and were the first thing Ben had even eaten in months) so they finished off the stack in record time. 

After breakfast, they took the time to explore their new home. It was so big and elegant that -- mixed in with how perfect everything currently was -- made Rey convinced she was dreaming. If that was the case, she prayed she would never wake up. 

They spent their afternoon together relaxing in the library. Ben sat in one of the comfy armchairs with Rey on the floor between his legs, braiding her hair while she read an old novel to him. He had done the intricate style on his mother so often when he was young that he didn't even need to focus on his work, instead getting lost in the story of a young adventurer on a quest to find his beloved. 

Rey was in the middle of a particularly thrilling part of the book when they were interrupted by the loud beeping of her communicator across the room, still buried in the bag where she had left it before the ritual. 

"Do you need to get that?" Ben wondered, pausing his work. Her hair was halfway done, one side of her head still down and caressing her shoulder.

"It's probably Finn," she sighed, marking their page in the book. "I should. I haven't talked to him in a few weeks now."

"Are you going to tell him about me?" he asked as she stood up and crossed to the other side of the room. 

"I'm not sure yet. I still haven't told anyone what this 'personal mission' of mine really was."

"They must know something by now. Your friends are not stupid. They know we're a Dyad. They know you were grieving me. What else would you be doing, if not trying to undo what happened?"

"They don't know me as well as you do, Ben," she replied as she finally found her holophone and looked at the screen. "Yeah, it's Finn. Just, be quiet until I decide, okay?"

Ben made a silent gesture of patiently zipping his lips. Rey made sure to stand where he was out of sight before answering the call. With a few presses on her screen, a small hologram of Finn and Poe appeared above the device. Their smiles upon seeing Rey were so overjoyed that she couldn't help but grin back. She missed them.

"Rey!" Finn all but shouted. "It's so good to see your face again!"

"You too, Finn," she responded fondly, before slyly adding, "Poe, I could have gone a little longer without seeing yours."

"Oh, come on," Poe smirked while Finn laughed, "we both know how much you missed seeing this handsome mug. You're just jealous that I was always the prettiest member of the Resistance and not you."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dameron."

"Seriously though," Finn cut in, his laughter faltering, "how are you, Rey? I miss you. We all do."

"I'm okay, I promise."

"I bet you're better than just  _ okay,"  _ Poe interrupted, waggling his eyebrows.

Finn shoved him out of view. "Ignore him."

"What did he mean by that?" Rey asked warily. They were holding something back from her.

"Nothing. But…" Finn looked down, trying to find the words. "I need to ask you. Is Ky--  _ Ben  _ back?"

"What??" Rey laughed, sounding far too guilty. "Why would you say that?"

"Come on, Rey." He drew his brows down, staring at her. "You can't braid your own hair. Besides, I felt you join together on Exegol, and I felt the same thing again last night."

Poe appeared over his shoulder. "He felt you guys fuck."

"Fuck?" Rey asked innocently, not recognizing the word.

Finn groaned. "He thinks I felt you two having sex, because he's stupid. I just felt The Force balance out, like you two united once again."

Rey's entire face turned crimson. Poe put his hands on the sides of his face and squealed.

"I was right!" he gloated in Finn's ear.

"Shut your mouth, Dameron," Rey warned through her blush. 

Finn's face was almost as red as hers once he realized he had actually felt them consummate their bond. "Poe was right?"

Rey looked up to see Ben standing across from her, smiling comfortingly just out of their view.

**You can tell them,** his voice urged through their bond.  **It's okay. I trust your judgment.**

Finn and Poe both took in the sight of her loving gaze aimed above them and immediately knew what she was looking at. 

"He's alive, and he's with you, isn't he?"

Rey gave Ben an almost imperceptible nod before looking back down at her friends. "Yes. He is."

For maybe the first in their lives (well, at least Poe's) both men were speechless...until Ben walked into view, that is.

Chaos erupted.


	23. Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Finn and Poe have discovered that Ben is alive. They're not exactly taking the news well.

Chaos was to be expected, of course. Rey knew that it was easier for Finn and Poe to think of him as Ben Solo when he was just a memory -- an abstract concept. Actually seeing his face? He immediately became Kylo Ren to them; the man who tortured and nearly killed them both. All of their anger, hatred, fear, it all came crashing back at the mere sight of him.

Rey and Ben stayed silent, patiently letting them vent out all of their frustration. It still hurt Rey though, hearing her best friends threaten the life of her soulmate. Ben somehow managed to stay calm, but Rey felt her own anger rising with every filthy name they called him.

"Stop!" she finally yelled, the authority in her tone effectively cutting them off. She took a deep breath. "You all supported me before. You  _ knew  _ that Ben and I were a Dyad. What suddenly changed? Just seeing him?  _ Why?" _

Finn grit his teeth. "It was easier to accept it when he was dead."

"He  _ should _ be dead," Poe growled, a thought popping into his head and making him even more angry. "What the fuck did you do, Rey?! Did you go Dark side?! How did you bring him back?!"

" _ Why  _ would you bring him back?!" Finn cut in. "How could you ever bring Kylo fucking Ren back into the galaxy after he was finally defeated?!"

"He wasn't  _ defeated,"  _ Rey spat. "He gave me his lifeforce. Palpatine killed me and Ben died to bring me back to life."

"Is that what he told you? How do you know he really did?!" Poe shouted. "He's The Jedi _ Killer,  _ for fucks sake. You were supposed to end the First Order, not resurrect Kylo Ren and let that monster slither between your legs like you're some cheap Sith whor--"

"ENOUGH!!" Ben roared suddenly, grabbing Rey's holophone out of her hand. He angrily threw the communicator to the ground before stomping it into bits for good measure. With a grunt, he spun and knocked over an entire shelf of books with a harshness Rey hadn't seen in him since before Exegol. Pages flew everywhere while he violently attacked the bookcase, shoving it to the ground with a crash.

"Ben?" she whispered, sounding so small.

He turned to her with a fierce wildness in his eyes.  _ "How dare they speak to you that way!  _ I should kill them for disrespecting you like that!"

"They're still my friends, Ben," she asserted more strongly. "They just need time."

"What they  _ need  _ is to be taught a lesson. If I still could, I would fire every round of every First Order ship on Dameron for calling you that. I would burn down the entire Republic to teach them both--"

"Ben, Ben," she said softly while he continued yelling, gently bringing her hands to his face. He was livid, ranting with a far-off look in his eyes. "Ben, come back to me. It's okay, Ben, everything is okay. I love you. Come back." He finally looked down at her, her calming tone and repetition of his birth name reminding him who he was now. He blinked hard, his threats quieting down until they completely stopped. "That's right, Ben, come back."

"...I'm sorry," he murmured, like he just realized where he was. "They just...got under my skin."

"I know, Ben, it's okay," she promised.

He dropped his forehead to hers, unclenching his fists at his sides. "Nobody should talk to you like that. Ever. Not strangers, not family, not friends. _Nobody."_

"I know, Ben," she repeated tenderly. 

"I just," he moved his hands to either side of her face, "I just have this overwhelming urge to defend you."

She laughed lightly. "You saw me react to them calling  _ you  _ names. I feel the very same need to protect you."

"I love you, Rey," he whispered, lips brushing against hers.

"I love you too, Ben. We'll get through this," she promised, "together."

"Together."

"Oh, and," she murmured seductively, reaching up and bringing her mouth to his ear, "you owe me a new phone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapters have been so short lately. I'm still taking prompts for this story! You can suggest ideas or quotes or situations or whatever else you'd like to see 🥰


	24. Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Finn and Poe said some very nasty things and caused a violent, Kylo-esque reaction from Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked for a little "Ben Solo in the streets, Kylo Ren between the sheets" and it inspired this filthy smut so please enjoy

Without Rey's holophone, there was no way to fix things between her and her friends without making a trip to Theed to purchase a new one. She still wasn't ready to leave anywhere without Ben yet, so all they could do in the meantime was distract themselves...

...and there was one moment replaying in Rey's head that definitely had her distracted. 

"Hey, Ben?" she asked shyly, shortly after finishing the book.

"Hmm?" he answered around the bobby pin in his mouth, working on the last braid in her hair. 

"I have a confession to make…"

He took the pin from his mouth and slid it into her hair. "What is it, sweetheart?" 

"Remember when we were talking about fantasies?" Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment. "You know...the sexual ones?"

He chuckled. "Yes, I remember those vividly."

"Well," she took a deep breath, "I lied."

She felt his heart fall and his hands still. "You mean, you never fantasized about me?"

"Oh no, I did," she reassured him quickly. "I did a lot...but I told you I only fantasized about Ben Solo...and not Kylo Ren…" She bit her lip. "...I lied."

Ben finished the last of her hair and let his fingers graze over the shell of her ear. Rey shivered. "Is that so, scavenger?" he purred.

The room became too hot. Her friends' anger and her broken communicator were already a distant memory. All of her focus narrowed in on the singularity that was her soulmate.

"Yes…" she answered, overwhelmed by the sudden lust and possessiveness coming from Ben's side of the bond. "Your outburst earlier...it sort of turned me on -- reminded me of some less gentle fantasies I've had."

"Tell me an example," he ordered, voice even deeper than usual. His hands threaded into her braids and he pulled, yanking her head backward to look up at him. "And be detailed, my little desert rat."

That should not have made her as wet as it did. She hated Kylo Ren, but she couldn't keep denying how sexy she found his dominating persona to be...and besides, it was still Ben Solo looking down at her, tugging her hair almost painfully. There was nothing wrong with playing a little game...

 **Tell me to stop and I will,** he promised through the bond. **But until you do…** His hands left her hair and slid underneath her arms, yanking her up into his lap. He pulled her back flush against his chest and breathed into her ear, "I'm in control, little scavenger."

"Kriff," she cursed under her breath, feeling the growing bulge against her ass. 

Ben's hands roamed her body, one cupping her breast while the other teased the inside of her thigh. "Scavenger," he mouthed at her neck, "I told you to do something." He bit her skin softly. "Tell." _Bite._ "Me." _Bite._ "An." _Bite._ "Example." _Suck._

"The turbolift," Rey moaned. His fingers danced upward until they were lightly tracing her core through her leggings. "You would, hnng, you would kiss me," she continued. He added pressure and she squirmed against the hardness under her. "After I told you I saw your future. You told me, ah, that you saw something too. We would kiss. Softly at first," she whimpered. His hand slid inside of her pants and his fingers found her clit. He groaned upon feeling how soaked she already was. "Then we, haaa, _just like that,_ unf, we would dive back in and kiss harder. Rough. Teeth and tongue. You'd hit the emergency stop and we would rip each other's clothes off, ohhh, our lips never separating."

He nipped her earlobe and teased her entrance, shallowly poking his fingertip inside of her. "And would I prepare you first?"

She shook her head, grinding her hips for more friction. "There wouldn't be time. You would just pick me up and shove my back into the wall while I wrapped my legs around you. Oh, Force! You would, _ahh,_ fuck me hard and fast."

He pinched her nipple and at the same time shoved his finger all the way inside of her. She whined so loudly it echoed. "Would it hurt you, scavenger?"

"Yes," she twisted her head to mouth at his jaw, "but you knew I could take it. You knew I wasn't fragile. Neither of us cared if it hurt me." As she spoke, Ben's finger found her g-spot and rubbed it while the heel of his palm pressed against her clit. "Ah, kriff, I'm going to come!"

All at once, Ben removed his hands and pushed her down on the ground between his legs, making her yelp in surprise. 

"Did I say you could come, you filthy desert rat?" he growled.

She turned around to look up at him and was met with the sight of him undoing his pants. She gazed hungrily as he pulled out his cock, hard and huge and _oh so tempting._ He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her towards his lap, leaving her face only inches away from his dick.

"You're going to suck me off, scavenger. I'm going to fuck your face and come in your mouth. You're going to swallow every last drop and you're going to thank me for the opportunity. Maybe -- just _maybe_ \-- if you're a good girl, I'll reward you. How does that sound?"

Rey swallowed hard, fire burning in her chest and clit throbbing at his words. She was so turned on she could only nod in agreement. 

_"Say it, desert rat."_

She knew that even though his tone was harsh and he barked the order, underneath was Ben Solo asking her for consent. 

"I'll be so good for you," she promised. "I'm going to suck you dry like the greedy little scavenger I am."

Above her, he sucked in a breath and tightened his fingers in her hair. His nails dug into her scalp as he pulled her face into his lap. Her mouth wrapped around the head of his cock and she was met with the delicious taste of his precum. She moaned around him and pressed her tongue against his slit before sucking hard. He grunted and involuntarily bucked into her, deep enough that he hit the back of her throat. She reflexively gagged and she felt panic spike through his side of the bond.

"Shit!" Ben cursed, the Kylo persona faltering. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart!"

Oh, but Rey had _liked_ it. 

**Do it again** , she thought to him. 

Relief and arousal flooded through Ben's mind as his fingers once again fisted in her hair. She relaxed her throat and loosened her jaw as he gave one tentative thrust up into her mouth. She didn't gag this time and managed to take him even further. She was still a few inches from his base, but damn it she was going to reach that goal even if it killed her. She wasn't going to stop until her lips pressed flush against his hips or she suffocated; whichever came first.

He caught that thought and Kylo returned with a groan. "Force, you really are a greedy little scavenger, aren't you?" 

"Mm-hmm," she answered around his cock, the rumble in her throat wringing an inhuman noise out of him.

"Don't worry, my naughty little Jedi," his other hand moved to the side of her face, holding her head in place while he fucked up into her, "we'll get there. You're going to take it all before I come down your throat. In fact," he stopped suddenly, pulling her off, "I have an idea. Get up." He let go of her and she immediately did as he asked. He looked her up and down, seemingly dissatisfied with something. "Clothes," he snarled, "off."

Rey quickly pulled her clothes off as Ben stood and did the same. He swooped her up into his arms bridal style and kissed her, hard and fast. He placed her on the chair upside down so that her body curled, head hung off the seat while her ass and legs traveled up the back, knees hooked over the top. Due to his height, Ben had to get down on his knees in front of the chair for his cock to be level with her mouth. He softly ran his hand down her jaw, thumb lightly grazing her lips before finding her chin and pulling her mouth open. He pressed forward slowly, filling her even deeper than before. She closed her eyes against the reflexive tears and relaxed her throat. He bent over her, lifting his hips until -- _oh._

Her nose was nestled against his balls and her bottom lip was flush against the short hair at the base of his cock and _holy Light she had done it._ She had never been so goddamn proud of herself in her entire life.

"What a good little desert rat," he grunted above her, shallowly rocking his hips. "Such a bad, _mmmm_ , Jedi, though. You're supposed to be celibate and here you are swallowing my cock like you were, _ung,_ born to do it." 

**I was,** she whimpered. **I was born to be yours.**

"Damn right, you were." He lightly traced his fingers down her neck, following the line of his dick. "You should see the view, my beautiful scavenger." He projected the image of his point of view into her mind. His hips were flush with her face and her throat bulged, putting the outline of his cock on display through her neck. "Exquisite, isn't it?"

Rey whined in agreement.

He pulled out a few inches, only to push back in a little faster and wrench a grunt from her throat. Before she could even register his movement, he had his mouth sucking at her clit and two fingers inside of her. It was so unexpected and so kriffing good that she screamed around his cock. 

"Kriff, Rey," he moaned quickly in a warning, hips stuttering and pulling almost all the way out, "I'm gonna--"

And then he was coming in her mouth, painting her throat in hot spurts. His orgasm ran into her as well, her walls clenching around his fingers as she followed his lead. She tried to swallow every last drop, but there was still a string of saliva mixed with his come connecting to his cock when he pulled out fully. The orgasm didn't last as long as the ones when he came in her cunt, but it was every bit as intense. When it ended, he slumped over her, careful to angle his softening dick away from her face.

"So good," he mumbled, finally collapsing into a heap on the ground. She twisted her body and tumbled down to the floor next to him, jaw aching and throat sore but oh so satisfied.

"That was a nice," she panted, "a nice reward."

He opened his eyes and looked at her in confusion. "Oh that wasn't your reward, my sweet scavenger…" His smirk was downright wolfish. "...this is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still taking requests and prompts! Also, I love sketching these two so if theres ever a particular moment in this fic that you'd like to see illustrated, you just gotta ask! (That includes old chapters as well)


	25. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey admitted to having a secret crush on Kylo Ren. Ben was more than happy to indulge that kink.

"Oh that wasn't your reward, my sweet scavenger…" Ben's smirk was downright wolfish. "...this is."

…

…

...

"What is?" she asked breathlessly, following his drawn out silence.

**First, are you doing alright, sweetheart?** he wondered through the bond, checking in before going any further.  **Still enjoying this?**

**Very much** , she thought back, before adding aloud, "now give me my kriffing reward."

Ben's brows lowered at that comment, scolding her with a disappointed  _ tsk  _ and finger wave. "Patience, little desert rat. Mouthy girls don't get rewards."

Rey flushed in a giddy anticipation. _Was he going to punish her_ _for that?_ Somehow, discipline sounded even more appealing than a reward.

"Oh, I'm going to punish you alright, scavenger," he confirmed, voice intoxicating. "But I promise you, you won't like it."

Rey grinned at him, pupils dilated and arousal dripping down her thigh. She coyly bit her lip. 

**I bet I will,** she thought.

Ben narrowed his eyes with a tiny smirk, almost winking but not quite. "We'll see," he murmured arrogantly. That split-second was so familiar that it triggered a memory and caused her to revert back to an old name...

"Force, Ky--I mean  _ Ben."  _ Shit! She knew he didn't want her to call him that; he'd told her as much in the World Between Worlds. "I'm so sorry, Ben. It just slipped ou--"

"You can call me Kylo," he interrupted softly, reaching out and caressing her jaw with a tenderness that was contradictory to their previous actions. "If you want, that is...but  _ only _ while we play this game. You can use that name whenever you want me to act like this -- to treat you like this."

She placed her hand over his, which was still gently brushing along her jaw. "You're still Ben Solo underneath."

"I'm still Ben Solo," he nodded, then smirked devilishly, "except for when you don't want me to be, that is."

They had fought enough in the past for her to know he possessed an impressive speed, but she was still taken by surprise when her bare back suddenly hit the wood floor and his heavy body covered her like a weighted blanket. The air left her lungs in a rush that was quickly swallowed by his demanding lips, sliding against hers like he wanted to devour her. She could taste herself on his tongue, lingering still from the few precious seconds he had blessed her with its attention. 

"You want it so bad, don't you?" he asked calmly, moving his mouth to her jaw. "I can practically smell how aroused you are, my dirty little Jedi." His hand trailed down to cup her mound, just enough pressure to drive her crazy. "You're aching for me, aren't you?"

"Yes, Kylo," she moaned, tilting her hips in an attempt to alleviate the blazing need between her thighs; he pulled his hand away just in time. "Kriff, please!"

"I told you to be patient, desert rat," he reminded her, moving down to roughly suck the dip of her collarbone. 

He slowly continued down her chest repeating the act. He was marking her, bruising her skin to show the world exactly who she belonged to. He branded her as a warning that she was  _ his  _ and no one else could touch her. He bit into the flesh right above her breast, hard enough to be on just the right side of pain. He laved over it with his tongue, soothing the sting and calming her gasping breaths. 

"I need," she whined, tossing her head from side to side and trying to figure out the end of that statement, coming up short. "I need. I just need."

"I know, scavenger," he cooed, gently kissing the soft skin around her nipple. "I'm going to take care of you. I'll give you your reward." 

_ Kiss. Lick. Suck. _

_ Bite. _

"Eventually," he grinned cruelly. "I'm gonna make it so good for you, but you have to obey one rule."

"Anything," she whined, desperately trying to wrap her legs around him. His cock was resting on her thigh, half erect and getting harder by the second. She needed it buried inside of her so badly that she could cry.

"You are not allowed to come until I say so," he instructed, a harsh dominance in his tone, "and when I do tell you to come, you better damn well do it."

Rey felt a sudden defiance rise in her chest, causing her to cock an eyebrow and smirk. "And if I break the rule?"

He leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, his voice cold and calculating. "If my little desert rat breaks that rule, I'm not going to touch her for  _ weeks." _

He nipped her earlobe while his large hand snaked between her legs, finally --  _ finally  _ \-- giving her relief from the ache. He effortlessly slid two fingers into her, aided by the slickness that trailed down from her folds and to her ass. He used his thumb to stimulate her clit, rubbing it with a technique and pressure so perfect that he must have been reading her mind to figure out what she liked best. His hot breath was still at her ear, whispering sweet, dirty things as his hand worked miracles down below. She cried out in pleasure when he curled his fingers, her need only elevating as an urgent heat began pooling in her belly.

She could come. 

_ She couldn't come. _

Her whimpers turned desperate as the opposing urges fought in her body, threatening to tear her apart. There was no way she was willing to go weeks without him touching her, but stars, the orgasm was  _ right there. _

"You better not," he warned, his voice strained from feeling the echo of her building orgasm. "Don't you dare come, you filthy little scavenger."

"I want," she whined, the pleasure nearing its peak as he continued pumping his fingers, "but I don't want."

Moments before she reached that finish line, his fingers disappeared as he sat up on his knees between her legs. She sobbed, somewhere between relief and frustration while he towered over her, unbothered and collected while he licked her slickness from his fingers with a nonchalance that drove her mad.

"Good girl," he praised, reaching his dry hand out to caress her cheek. "You did so well."

"My reward?" she asked, sounding breathless and hopeful and oh so desperate.

He gave her the most pitying look before dropping his hips to hers. "Do you want me inside of you, scavenger?" He rocked against her, holding his cock in one hand while he used the head of it to tease around her clit. She nodded enthusiastically before he slid over her entrance, still denying her the delicious stretch. He was so close though, if she were to wrap her legs around his waist she could easily pull him inside of her…

"I am the one in control, remember?" he growled, angling his dick away from her. "Only I know what you need. I will choose what I do to you, and you're going to take it like a good little desert rat."

She was going to spontaneously combust and become one with The Force if she didn't get some sort of relief soon. She opened her mouth to beg but all that came out was an  _ oof  _ as she found herself flipped onto her stomach. Her nipples hardened against the cold floor and she felt his knees roughly shoving her thighs apart and spreading her open. His fingers dug into her hip bones, lifting her pelvis off the floor until she was forced to get on her knees. Her hands instinctively moved to lift her upper half as well, but his fist weaved in her hair and gently held her cheek to the ground while her arms went limp. 

"Stay down, scavenger," he warned, honey on his tongue. "It's going to feel so good like this, I promise."

She felt him taunting her with his cock at her entrance again and she whimpered. "Please, Kylo. I need it."

"I know you do," he finally conceded. 

With one powerful thrust, he completely sheathed himself inside of her with a grunt. The noise she let out was a loud mixture of a gasp and a moan and a scream. The pain of the sudden stretch was nothing compared to how glorious it felt to finally be full of him. Shivers washed over both of them in waves and her eyes watered at the sheer relief. 

"Don't forget," he murmured, grinding his hips tightly against her ass, "you can't come until I say so. You  _ will  _ obey me, scavenger."

"Kriff," she groaned in annoyance. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "It's okay, our Dyad thing, mmm, feels kind of like an orgasm anyway -- like a,  _ fuck,  _ a watered-down one at least. I can, haa, be a good girl for you."

"That's right, my little desert rat," he praised, softly petting her hair. "You feel so kriffing amazing around my cock. Your sweet little cunt was made just for me, wasn't it?"

"Yes," she grunted in agreement. "Just for --  _ oh Force Kylo, right there! -- _ just for you. Every,  _ unf,  _ part of me was made for you...to touch...ahh...to fill...to fuck…"

"Every part?" he questioned in surprise. "Even…" He circled his finger around his cock, dipping into her heat and gathering some of her wetness. His slick finger traced upwards until it was softly pressing against her other hole. "Even this part, scavenger? Was this made for me to touch? To fill?  _ To fuck?" _

Rey's body stiffened. The idea of his huge dick inside of her ass was both thrilling and terrifying. She had been so preoccupied wondering how he would even fit inside of her cunt to consider her other hole. Would that even feel good? She knew anal sex was a thing, but...how could that possibly be pleasurable? 

He sensed her trepidation and moved his hand to cup her ass cheek, squeezing gently. "Perhaps another time," he murmured.

"Your finger," she blurted before she could lose her nerve. "Try using your finger."

"...are you sure?" he asked, sounding much more like Ben then Kylo. "We don't have to."

"I know we don't," she gasped at a particularly pleasurable slide of his cock against her walls, "but I want to know what it feels like."

"Okay. I'm going to use my little finger, though," his voice came from deep in his chest and Kylo returned with a hard thrust. "I wouldn't want to break my little desert rat, after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still taking prompts! I'm also taking sketch requests for any scene/moment from this fic you would like me to illustrate (it can even be smutty!)


	26. Reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey and Ben experimented with some roleplaying. Kylo Ren decided Rey needed to be punished with orgasm denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: dubious consent involving sleeping and breath play 
> 
> I managed to fit two requests into this chapter! Well, one of them is set more in the next chapter...

Rey pressed her forehead against the cold wood floor to ground herself for what was about to happen. Behind her, Ben -- well, _Kylo,_ at the moment -- settled deep inside of her, letting their pleasant Dyad sensation wash over the both of him while his fingers explored her body. His slick pinky circled around the tight hole above where his cock was nestled, fingertip lightly pressing into the uncharted territory. Her body went rigid as he slowly slid it in, but he could barely focus on that because his head was spinning. The ring of muscle around his finger was so impossibly tight and warm that he could probably come from the thought of his dick fucking her there alone. 

"Force, scavenger," his voice was guttural as he softly rocked his hips, "you're gripping my finger so nicely."

"It's too much," she blurted. Ben could practically hear her teeth gritting together. "I can't take it. Not right now."

He gently pulled his finger out, resting his hand lightly on her hip. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" His voice was tinged with worry, undoubtedly Ben.

"I'm fine," she smiled over her shoulder, only looking slightly forced. "It was just. Too full. Too much sensation."

Ben pulled out of her and sat back on his shins, bringing her up with him. He held her bare back to his chest and brushed her hair out of her face before burrowing into her neck. She sighed softly, clearly comforted by his embrace. 

"Let's be done for the night," he murmured at her ear. 

She tensed in surprise. "What? No! I'm fine, I promise." She bit her lip. "Besides, what about my reward? I want to come so bad, Kylo."

"I'll let you come in the morning, scavenger." He tried to keep his voice dominating, but his persona was clearly faltering. 

"I swear to you, I'm fine."

"I'm not," he admitted. He was enjoying their game -- _a lot_ \-- but being in that mental space for so long was starting to take its toll. "I need to be Ben for a while."

She twisted to face him, drawing her brows down. He felt her poking at his mental walls, which instantly turned to caresses once he let her in. She searched his unease until she found what she was looking for and understanding washed over her face. She looked sad, almost guilty, before an idea crossed her mind. "Then would you like to make love to me, Ben?"

His lips spread into a smirk. "Kylo already made his decision, Rey."

She shrugged. "Can't blame me for trying."

"I love you," he chuckled, leaning in to give her a chaste kiss. 

"I love you too, Ben," she smiled against his lips.

With that, Ben stood up and helped Rey to her feet. Her legs were a bit wobbly, but he was quick to sweep her off her feet before she could stumble. He softly kissed her temple before carrying her towards their bedroom. She seemed surprised when he bypassed their bed and went straight into the 'fresher. He deposited her on the toilet and walked over to the massive claw-foot bathtub in the center of the room. He put the plug in place and turned on the faucet, keeping his back to her.

"Go pee," he instructed. "You're always supposed to pee after sex. You could get an infection if you don't."

"Ben!" she blushed. "I'm not going to do that with you in here!"

"Wait, so I can bury my face in your cunt, but I can't be in the same room as you while you urinate?" he teased while he sauntered from the room anyway.

"Shut up!" she shouted as he closed the door, throwing a roll of toilet paper at him for good measure. It hit her side of the wood with a _thunk,_ making him laugh even harder.

While the tub was filling and Rey was emptying, Ben decided to make his way into the kitchen to grab them some snacks. He knew he had pushed her pretty hard while he was role-playing as Kylo Ren, so now he had an overwhelming urge to care for and pamper her to make up for all the nasty things he had said to her. He dug around the crisper until he found what he was looking for: a brick of cheese and a bottle of wine. He cut the cheese into little cubes and dumped them onto a plate with some crackers and grabbed two wine glasses before returning to Rey.

By the time he got back to the 'fresher, the bathtub was full of water, giant soap bubbles, and a very giddy Rey.

"I found bath bubbles!" she exclaimed, splashing around excitedly like a little kid. 

Ben's heart _melted._ He would collect all of the bubble soap in the world for her if it meant seeing her this childishly happy. 

It suddenly occurred to him that Rey had probably never had a bubble bath before this. She never had a childhood. She never had parents to take care of her. Granted, his parents didn't exactly spoil him with attention, but at least they had given him his share of bubble baths as a kid.

He was seething. He wanted to bring Palpatine's crusty ass back to life just so he could kill him again with his bare hands. He wanted--

 **Ben,** came Rey's voice in his head. **Stop brooding and get in the tub already.**

He felt her in his mind, shaking loose and wiping away the negative thoughts he was having. He broke out into a toothy grin and practically ran to her, carefully setting down the wine and snacks next to the bathtub before climbing in. He winced as he lowered himself down, the hot water scalding his skin wherever it touched. The sting quickly disappeared as his body adjusted to the temperature, and soon he was sitting across from Rey with a mountain of bubbles between them. 

"I think you might have over-poured." he commented as he swatted them out of his face.

"Actually," she swirled her finger in the bubbles, collecting a small glob, "I don't think I poured enough." 

She lifted her finger up to the tip of his long nose, leaving the bubbles there with a press of her finger tip and a small _boop_ noise from her mouth. Ben stared at her blankly, blowing up from the side of his mouth with a huff. The bubbles wiggled but stayed in place.

"Aww!" she squealed in delight. "You look so pretty!"

Ben burst into laughter. "How? You made my nose even bigger!"

"I love your big nose!" She splashed him with water as he finally wiped his face. 

His insecurity spiked. "Lies and slander."

"I'm serious! Know what else I love?"

"What?"

She leaned closer, reaching to tuck his hair behind his ear. "I love your big ears."

He wanted to object, but she brought her hand to the other side and brushed his hair back. It felt so good that all he could do was close his eyes and moan. 

"Ben," she grinned, "do you like having your hair played with?"

"I wouldn't know," he swallowed hard. "You are the only gentle touch I've had in decades, not counting medic droids."

He felt Rey's heart sink. She might have grown up touch-starved too, but at least she had physical contact in the recent years from her friends. For the last twenty years, Ben's body only knew violence. 

Rey mustered a warm smile and ran her fingers through his hair, earning a shiver from him. "Can I wash your hair for you?"

His lips twitched as he nodded. She stood up, soap running down her naked body. The bruises he had sucked into her skin were beginning to form, causing a strange mixture of guilt and arousal in him. She stepped behind him, momentarily pausing over his shoulder with the dripping curls on her mound next to his face. It took every ounce of his self-control to look straight ahead when all he wanted to do was turn his head and bury his tongue inside of her. Kylo had already made the decision to wait until morning and he was determined to follow through. He ignored his desires and scooted forward, bending his knees at an awkward angle to accommodate her petite body sitting behind him. He leaned back against her chest, somehow feeling small and protected in her loving embrace. 

"I will always keep you safe," she murmured, kissing the back of his neck. 

Rey reached outside the tub and grabbed a bottle of shampoo, squeezing a generous amount into her palm. She rubbed her hands together before pressing them to Ben's scalp. She lathered it throughout his long hair, gently massaging his head as she went. He could only close his eyes and melt into her touch, letting every bit of tension in his body fade away with a deep sigh. Walls that he didn't even know he had in his mind fell down, and for maybe the first time in his life he was completely vulnerable. Rey was treating him as if he were something precious and delicate, and at the moment, he supposed he was.

She continued rubbing the shampoo through his hair for far longer than was necessary, peppering chaste kisses across his shoulders and neck as she went. He had never felt so loved and cherished that it was overwhelming. The sheer gratitude he felt for Rey streamed down his face in the form of tears. 

It was almost funny -- for as long as he could remember he'd had Darth Sidious in his mind whispering that he deserved nothing, and now his granddaughter was here giving him everything. He breathed out a laugh at the thought.

"You deserve everything," she whispered against his skin. "You _are_ everything, Ben."

"If you say so," he smiled, tilting his head back on her shoulder. 

"I do say so, and I'm right," she kissed his cheek. "Now, can you lean back a little bit more so I can rinse you?"

Ben had to throw his legs outside of the tub to get at the right level. Rey planted her feet and cradled his neck between her knees. She grabbed one of the empty wine glasses and dipped it into the water, pouring it over his hairline as she ran her fingers through his hair. She repeated this over and over, massaging his scalp clean until the bubbles dissipated and the water turned cold. 

When they finally got out, their bodies were shivering and their fingers pruning. Ben found them towels, completely ignoring the uneaten cheese and unopened wine that they were dripping all over. Rey insisted on drying Ben off, continuing the gentle treatment she had been pampering him with for the last hour. When she was done, they put on their sleep clothes and crawled into bed. They were both so exhausted and relaxed that they fell asleep in each other's arms almost instantly.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Ben was having the best dream. The events were hazy, but Rey's mouth was on him and nothing else mattered. He couldn't remember what exactly was happening before that, but it wasn't a concern. Her mouth was so warm and wet that he woke himself up moaning.

Opening his eyes, he discovered why he was dreaming of that. He gasped for air and his hand found her head under the covers. He fisted her hair while his sleep-addled brain attempted to catch up.

"Kriff, Rey," he sighed.

 **Good morning,** she thought.

He blinked his eyes a few times before realizing it was still dark out, moonlight shining through their window.

_She was cheating._

And she was doing a damn good job of it. 

He wasn't sure how long she had been sucking his cock before he woke up, but he already felt his orgasm building. He wanted to come so badly; Rey wasn't the only one being denied an orgasm, after all.

But damn it, he was going to follow through on the punishment he set as Kylo Ren.

"It's not morning," he grunted. "You're cheating."

 **I'm not cheating,** she said through the bond before pulling her mouth off of him. "I'm getting revenge." She pulled his pants back over his cock and crawled back up into the crook of his arm. "Now you know how it feels to be denied. Goodnight."

He could sense that it was a trick; she didn't hide it very well. She just wanted to get him riled up enough to give in and let them both come. If she pretended to stop, she could let him think that continuing was his idea.

Unfortunately for her, Ben had years of practicing self-control when it came to any sort of pleasure. 

"That's fine," he murmured, closing his eyes and settling back in. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

Rey sat up swiftly. "You weren't supposed to listen!"

He chuckled, not opening his eyes. He pulled her back down, holding her tightly in his arms. 

"Go back to sleep, scavenger," he growled against her temple.

The next time Ben opened his eyes, the sunlight was streaming in through their window.

Fucking _finally._

He was on his side, Rey in his arms with her back to him, their entire bodies fused together like spoons. He was hard against the curve of her ass, and Force, his poor dick was so angry at him for waiting this long. He rocked against her with a moan. 

Force, it felt good. 

He took the hand resting on her stomach and slid it under her shirt, sneaking up until he was squeezing a handful of her small breast with a shudder. He started grinding against her ass harder, hoping that he could affect whatever dream she was having as she had done to him.

"Ben," she sighed in her sleep. 

He wanted her to wake up from this, like he'd done in the middle of the night. His hand left her tits to trail down between her legs. He stayed on the outside of her loose shorts and pressed two fingers against her mound. He applied pressure and rubbed in time with his thrusts against her. 

"Yes, Ben," she mumbled, still not awake.

This wasn't working. 

He leaned over her to reach her ear. "Wake up, sweetheart," he murmured with a bite to her lobe.

That worked.

"Ben? Wha-ohhhh," she was interrupted by a long moan as he pressed both his cock and his fingers harder against her. "Fucking _finally,"_ she repeated his earlier thought.

He slipped his hand under her waistband, praying that she was wet enough for him because he needed to be inside of her right the fuck now. His dick twitched upon discovering that not only was she already _soaked,_ but that the leg holes of her shorts were loose enough that he could just simply move them aside. 

"Please, Ben," she begged upon hearing his thoughts. 

He quickly shimmied his pants just low enough to free his cock and hitched her thigh over his hip. He shoved her shorts to the side, exposing her wet cunt to the warm air underneath the blankets. He gripped his dick and angled himself at her entrance, pressing in lazily. The room was filled with the sound of their heavy breaths as they savoured every second of his cock slowly inching in. He buried his face in her neck while she reached behind her to hold his hip tightly, trying to urge him in faster. He kept up at his unhurried pace, eventually bottoming out with a gasp. 

Ben's fingers returned to her clit, circling slowly while he reveled in the feeling of just being inside her. The sensation of their Dyad reaction paired with the sleepiness still holding onto their minds was practically nirvana. Ben would have been content to spend the rest of his life like that, but he was greedy and after a bigger prize.

He finally began rocking his hips, sliding in and out of Rey at a slow but steady pace. 

"Harder!" she begged.

In response, he slowed down and began thrusting at a painfully gentle pace. 

Reverse psychology?

Rey could work with that.

"Ooh," she fake-moaned, "wait, softer."

The absolute bastard _listened_ that time, punishing her with an even slower tenderness.

"Kylo," she whispered, saying everything she wanted in a single word.

His thrusts changed almost immediately and he began fucking into her hard and fast.

"It's time for your reward, scavenger," he growled into her neck with a soft bite. "Would you like me to drag this out, or do you want to come right away? The choice is yours."

"I want to come right away," she gasped. "And then I want to come again."

He laughed in surprise. "What a gluttonous little desert rat." 

He snapped his hips into her a bit harder, and then used The Force to gently apply pressure to her carotid artery. Her breath hitched and he felt her senses heighten and pleasure magnify. 

"What makes you think you deserve that, insolent scavenger?" he asked in a cold, low voice. 

He stopped choking her within a few seconds, feeling endorphins flood into her body with the oxygen. She keened in pleasure as her orgasm slammed into her, Ben following right behind her. He shot his load in her cunt, coming and coming and coming until his head spun. The orgasm continued to overwhelm them both until his dick eventually softened and slid out of her. 

They both rolled onto their backs and attempted to catch their breath. Ben returned to himself and was hit with a wave of guilt. 

"Was that okay?" he asked worriedly. "Was it too much? I know the Force-choking was a lot--"

"It was amazing," she cut him off. "And to answer your other question…"

She was suddenly straddling his torso, her hot, slick cunt sliding across his chest. A fire lit up her eyes, and Ben could only gulp as he recognized the expression of power on her face.

_Empress Palpatine._

"I _do_ think I deserve to come again," she said with a husky finality. "And that's exactly what I'm going to do."

He felt powerless.

He felt weak.

He felt so goddamn aroused.

 **Tell me to stop and I will,** she assured him, repeating his own promise. **But until you do...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still taking prompts! I'm also taking sketch requests if anyone wants to see a certain moment or scene 🥰


	27. Empress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:   
> Kylo Ren has already made his appearance in the bedroom....now it's Empress Palpatine's turn

Ben's heart was racing. Either that, or he was feeling Rey’s core throbbing against his chest which she was so elegantly straddling. 

Probably both.

The two of them had always butted heads, both being fairly dominant by nature. Of course, the exchange of power often switched between them in different areas, but Rey tended to be more submissive when it came to sex...until this moment, that is.

"Force, Rey,” he squeaked, taken aback by the sheer power she was exuding.

As soon as he said her name, his throat forcibly closed up from an unseen pressure.

She was Force-choking him.

And fuck if it wasn’t the hottest thing he had ever experienced.

“Call me  _ Empress,”  _ she corrected with a sneer, before shyly adding through their bond,  **only if you want to, of course.**

She released her Force-hold on his neck and he immediately inhaled oxygen into his lungs, gasping like a fish out of water. “Empress,” he choked out as soon as he could speak. “You were right.”

“Right about what? Say it, Kylo,” she ordered, running her fingers through his hair.

“You do deserve to come again. You deserve to come as many times as you’d like.”

“That’s better,” she smiled. “Have you caught your breath yet? I’d like to borrow your mouth.”

He gulped and nodded, hoping she was about to do what he thought. 

_ Please sit on my face sit on my face sit on my face sit on my face,  _ he repeated in a prayer.

She shuffled up to the pillows on her knees until his head was braced between her soft thighs. He moaned excitedly and then his hair was being yanked and she was lowering herself onto his mouth. He eagerly lapped at her, tonguing through her folds and flicking her clit and not even caring that he could feel his own cum dripping out of her cunt onto his chin. His technique was sloppy and uncoordinated due to how excited he was, but judging by the breathy noises she was making, she was definitely enjoying his enthusiastic approach. He was whimpering and growling while he made out with her cunt, feeling himself get harder with every suck of her clit.

When her legs began to tremble, her grip on his hair tightened and she began rocking her hips. He let out the loudest moan when she started riding his face, only spurring her on even more.

“Are you enjoying this, Kylo?” Her voice was pitchy as she pushed down harder against his tongue. “Do you like it when I fuck your pretty face?”

“Uh-huhhhhhhhhhhh,” he groaned against her, dizzy with lust as he completely surrendered himself to her.

He felt her nearing her peak, only making his mouth more passionate. His hand instinctively gripped around his cock and he began jerking himself off in time with the grind of her hips. His other hand snuck up behind her, surprising her when he slid two fingers deep inside of her cunt. With one press against  _ that  _ spot at the front of her walls, she fell apart. He automatically came with her, shooting hot spurts across his stomach and chest, feeling her stiffen and whimper as the first threads of his cum reached their end on her backside. She rode out her orgasm against his tongue, twitching through the occasional aftershocks.

Thankfully, she removed herself from his face after they were through, letting him catch his breath. She leaned back against the wall with her eyes closed, her own lungs practically heaving for air. He tilted his head back to look up at her and smiled. She was covered in a sheen of sweat, little errant hairs that had fallen from her braids were matted to her forehead, and her chest and cheeks were flushed red. She looked so perfect.

“Is that better, my empress?” he finally asked.

She looked at him, clearly amused. “Oh, I’m not done.”

Ben found himself once more straddled by her, this time at his thighs. She surveyed his own body as well, seemingly pleased with the mess of a man he knew she was seeing. Personally, he felt disgusting -- sticky with sweat and drying cum. 

“I want more.” Her voice held no room for argument. 

Oh, she was going to be the death of him. She softly grabbed his still sensitive dick, making him hiss. His hands instinctively reached out to stop her, but they were suddenly pressed up against the pillow on either side of his head, completely immobilized by The Force. He stared at her with wide eyes, expression somewhere between fear and arousal. 

“Re--I mean  _ empress,”  _ he swallowed thickly, “there is no way I can get hard again yet.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him, her smirk clearly conveying her next question: “is that so?”

Sure enough, his cock began to grow in her palm. He breathed out in disbelief before he realized exactly how she was causing the erection.

_ That dirty little Jedi. _

“You know,” he grinned, “that is completely inappropriate use of The Force.”

She sank down on his  _ very  _ hard length, face twisted in ecstasy. “Do I look like I care?”

“Not at all,” he groaned.

“By the way…” she leaned forward until her lips were by his ear; he had to lift his hips to keep himself from slipping out of her. “...this orgasm is going to come from you,” she whispered, nipping at his lobe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still taking writing and drawing prompts for this story!


	28. **update**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOT A CHAPTER

Y'ALL I JUST NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT TO SHARE THIS FUCKING VIDEO WITH YOU 

https://youtu.be/YceUPsXB1dw

HE PROTECC

HE ATTACC

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY 

HE COME BACC


	29. Choke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Ben got a taste of Empress Palpatine in the bedroom. Rey wasn't finished.

“By the way…” Rey leaned forward until her lips were by Ben’s ear; he had to lift his hips to keep himself from slipping out of her. “...this orgasm is going to come from you,” she whispered, nipping at his lobe. She planted her hands on his chest and pushed herself up, sitting back down on his cock until his ass lowered into the mattress. She began to rock back and forth, lifting and falling in a steady rhythm that made his eyes roll back in his head. “You thought making your dick hard was an inappropriate use of The Force?” She lifted her hand in front of her face and clenched her fist. Ben felt his airway close once again and a helpless arousal flooded through his veins like fire. “You haven’t seen anything yet, Ren. I’m going to use The Force to make you come harder than you ever have in your entire life.” Her Force-grip tightened around his throat while her cunt squeezed his cock firmly at the same time, making him dizzy. “Every orgasm you’ve ever had is going to seem like nothing compared to this. You’re going to wonder how you ever survived without me.”

**I already wonder that,** he thought, nearly on the verge of blacking out from the lack of oxygen.

She released her hold on his windpipe and he inhaled with a gasp, finally getting relief from the burning in his lungs. She donned the most satisfied, twisted smile he’d ever seen while he writhed under her, heaving for air. Kriff, he wanted to touch her; run his hands along her thin waist, grab her perfect tits,  _ anything.  _ He wanted to wrap his long fingers around her hips and fuck up into her until she forgot her own name while she screamed his. __

Rey must have heard that thought because his hands were suddenly held down even tighter, reminding him who was in control. She ran her fingers across his broad chest, staring with a strange fascination while she circled around his nipple. 

“Do you like pain, Ren?” she wondered, voice distant. 

Honestly? She had him so wrapped around her finger in that moment that she could cut off his hand and he would probably thank her. Besides, he must like it, judging by how much he enjoyed being Force-choked by her. Rey was the only person more powerful than him, the only one who could possibly defeat him, and it had always awed him. Did he like being at her mercy and letting her hurt him?

Yes.

Yes he did.

He could only confirm with a nod. She smirked in response, dragging her nail across his nipple. She tentatively squeezed the tight bud, making him draw in a sharp breath at the strange combination of pleasure and pain. With his reaction in mind, she rubbed it between her fingers until it became hard.

Then she flicked it.

_ Oh. He definitely liked that. _

Her grin was downright devilish. The Force thickened around them and her fingertips suddenly became electrified against his nipple. A slight shock of pleasure jolted throughout his body and his breath -- fuck, his entire soul -- left his body in a huff. He had seen her use Force-lightning once before on accident, but he had no idea that she could control it. He didn’t even know it was possible to control the intensity of it, but here she was sending the smallest bit of electricity through his body from his nipple. 

Gods, she was fucking incredible.

"Do you trust me?" she asked, letting the shock against his nipple die down.

Of course he did. He trusted her with his life. He nodded vigorously.

She zapped him, stronger this time but lasting mere nanoseconds. His body convulsed with a moan.

"Say it, Ren," she ordered. "Out loud."

"Yes, empress," he breathed out, "I trust you."

She smirked. "Good."

He then felt a strange finger-like pressure at his ass. It was almost like her pinky was circling his hole, but both of her hands were clearly on his chest rubbing across his pecs. 

_ She wouldn't use The Force like that... _

_...would she? _

He discovered the answer when the pressure slid inside of him. He stiffened at the intrusion, panic welling up in his throat. He had never explored that part of his body before, and the sensation was strange and unexpected. 

She closed her eyes in concentration, shallowly rocking on his cock while she felt around inside of his asshole with The Force, seemingly searching for something. She pressed against a spot inside of him and --

His vision whited out at the mind-numbing pleasure that surged through him.

"You like that, Ren?" she grinned brightly.

_ "Yes,"  _ he managed to gasp out. 

She massaged the area more as she resumed riding him in earnest, bouncing on his cock like she was possessed. Her thumbs pressed against both of his nipples and the smallest voltage was emitted while she circled them. He felt The Force caress his balls, tenderly tugging on them. 

He had never been so overstimulated in his entire life. The pleasure was more than he could handle; it was somehow way too much but not enough at the same time. The Force,  _ Rey,  _ was everywhere. Nothing else existed except for the two of them and the way she was making him feel. He was dying. He knew it. He had to be. This was too good,  _ too much,  _ and he readily accepted death if this was how it ended. He was riding the edge of orgasm, moans ripping their way out of his throat as he teetered on the brink. 

_ He just needed a little more. _

"I want your cum," she growled above him. His windpipe tightened and choked off his groans. "Give it to me," she ordered through her teeth. 

She leaned forward, letting him get a good look at her glowing, dilated eyes. 

_ Powerful. _

_ In control. _

His vision started to go fuzzy around the edges as he began to black out. Before he did, she mercifully released her Force-hold on his throat and everything came back at once. The oxygen in his lungs, the electricity at his nipples, the pressure against his prostate, the cradling of his balls, her cunt clenching around his cock,  _ everything. _

"Come for me, Ren." The Force crackled around them as Rey smiled wickedly.  _ "Come for your empress." _

He came.

He came with a scream of her name. He came until there was nothing left of him. He came until he was crying from the sheer bliss of his release. He came until his face contorted into a toothy grin, giggling at the waves of pleasure that continued to wash over them both like a warm blanket. 

"Rey," he gasped after he finally slipped out of her. "Rey, that was amazing. That was everything."

"Yeah?" she smiled sheepishly. "I was worried it was too much."

He shook his head swiftly. "No, I loved it! But…"

Panic welled in her eyes. "What was it? Shit, I'm so sorry Ben! Was it the prostate thing?"

He laughed in surprise. "No, not that! I liked that. I just don't think I can handle the Empress very often. My body can't withstand that amount of pleasure. She's going to be the death of me."

Rey cackled. "You just can't stand being submissive. I'll keep her under wraps, though. I'll only let her out when you ask for her."

"Thank you." He bit his lip. "Also, the prostate thing...where did you learn to do that? Please don't say it was from my mother."

"Ben," she rolled her eyes. "My best friends are gay. I once made the mistake of asking them how anal sex can possibly be pleasurable."

He blushed. "I wouldn't call that a  _ mistake,  _ per se," he mumbled, remembering the intense pleasure it brought him. 

"I'll keep that in mind," Rey giggled. "On that note," she kissed his cheek, lingering against his skin, "I'm going to go make us some breakfast. Why don't you take a shower and get cleaned up. Sound good?"

"Sounds  _ great,"  _ he agreed. 

She puckered her lips to give him another peck on the cheek, but he turned his head swiftly and caught her mouth with his own. He kissed her, short and sweet, and then pulled away with a grin and hopped out of bed. As he walked towards the 'fresher, Rey couldn't help but ogle his backside as he walked. 

**Your gaze is burning my ass,** Ben thought through the bond, not bothering to turn around.

**Can you blame me?**

Before closing the door, he turned to face her. He looked up and down his own body, from his broad chest to his beautiful cock to his toned legs. 

"Nah," he shrugged, "I guess I can't blame you."

She threw a pillow at him, but it only managed to reach the door after he'd already slammed it shut.

"You arrogant nerf-herder!" she shouted with a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, I think that's the last of the smut (for a while at least). we're getting back into storyline mode! I'm gonna be adding some time jumps as well so watch for those 🥰
> 
> I'm also still accepting prompts! I can squeeze them into the story


	30. Sabers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey and Ben have been settling into their home on Naboo quite well. The two of them had a heated argument with Finn and Poe before Ben broke their only communicator.

Three standard weeks passed by before Rey felt comfortable enough to leave Ben alone -- finally certain that he wasn't a dream and wouldn't vanish -- to make a supply run into town. The trip to Theed was blessedly uneventful and she returned with a full pack of goods on a new speeder big enough for the two of them. 

Sure enough, Ben was still there, running out to greet her like an excited puppy. He pulled her off the speeder and into his broad chest for a crushing hug, spinning her around while her legs flailed uselessly behind her. 

"Can't...breathe…" she mumbled into the warm fabric of his gray sweater.

He set her down immediately, loosening his hold without letting her go completely. "Sorry...did you get the parts?" he asked excitedly.

Her grin was wide as she nodded towards the pack attached to her speeder. "Got them."

Ben insisted on carrying everything inside by himself, unsurprising to Rey. Once all the bags were placed on their kitchen counter, he started digging through them in search of the components. She rolled her eyes and started putting away the perishables. He found the pack he was looking for with an "ah-ha!" and ran with it to the dining room. 

Rey finished unpacking before she finally joined Ben in the next room. Their large table was covered, scrap metal from aboard the Falcon strewn across the entire length. He sat at the middle of the table in front of the two unfinished lightsaber hilts, spreading out the Diatium power cells she had just brought back. 

She took her seat across from him and got to work. Her saber was largely based on the one carried by Empress Palpatine; compact and precise when folded, but long and unyielding at its full length. Not only did it resemble her faithful staff, but she even used bits of said staff to create the hilt.

"Hey Ben?" Rey asked sometime later.

"Yes, sweetheart?" he responded without looking up from his work.

"Why are you building the same tri-blade you created as Kylo Ren?"

He paused in silence, frozen at the question. After a few moments he got back to fiddling with his hilt.

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"No," she said quickly.

He sighed with a small smile. "Do you know what a broadsword is?"

"No, I don't," she answered after some thought. 

"In some cultures, knights once carried swords made of metal. A broadsword's hilt was T-shaped like this. They were also carried on a knight's back, which is how I carried my training saber when I was a padawan."

"Why would I ever laugh at that?" Rey wondered incredulously.

Ben shrugged. "Kids at Luke's school used to make fun of me for being a nerd. I did little things like that, and I enjoyed reading and studying...I got picked on a lot. It didn't help that I had Sith whispers in my head telling me that they all hated me, which only alienated me even further."

"Ben…" she whispered, deeply saddened by his words. She reached across the table to place her hand over his. "I'm sorry that happened. I love you so much."

He smiled softly, turning his palm up to twine their fingers together. "I love you too, sweetheart."

They held hands for an infinite moment before they let go and got back to work on their respective sabers. By dinnertime they were more or less finished with the hilts, so they decided to stop for the night and cook supper. They couldn't really do much more work on either saber without having kyber crystals anyway, which would require a trip back to Ilum. Over dinner, they discussed when they would make the journey, deciding to leave within the next few days.

Later that night while Ben slept, Rey stared at the brand new holophone in her hands. She knew she needed to call Finn. She wasn't as pissed off at him and Poe now that time had passed. Honestly, she couldn't even blame them; she would have had the same reaction if she had been in their shoes. 

She paced around the sitting room, trying to gather her nerves, lest her emotions get too high and inadvertently wake Ben. It was better to do this while he slept, so that his presence didn't set them off again. Also, she didn't want to risk him blowing up on her friends -- or her technology, for that matter -- if they insulted her again.

She really hoped that they wouldn't, though.

She exhaled the breath she didn't know she was holding and called Finn. The connection beeps only lasted for a few seconds before he immediately answered, his frantic face appearing in a hologram.

"Rey!" he breathed out in relief. "I'm so glad you called." He looked down, a bleak cloud overtaking him. "I didn't think I would hear from you again, not after...that."

She gave him a tight, forced smile. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Finn."

"Good," he whispered, joy slowly seeping into his features. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry about what I said before."

"So…" Rey trailed off uncomfortably. "Where is Poe?"

"At the citadel. Kaydel and Rose needed his opinion on some trade bargain or treaty or something like that. The three of them are really getting the hang of the political stuff."

"What, and you're not?" she asked in concern. Last she had heard, Finn was a huge part of reforming the new Republic.

"I am," he shrugged. "I'm just more help when it comes to the humanitarian parts. Oh! Speaking of which, I've been dying to tell you that Janna and I have been working on an ex-Stormtrooper welfare project! Housing, education, we want to give them all of it. We're still ironing out some details, but in the meantime she's been leading liberation missions to the existing Sith factions we discover, in order to free the Stormtroopers."

"Finn, that's wonderful! I'm so proud of you!"

"Thank you. That means a lot, Rey." Finn looked down and smiled, before he was visibly struck by a thought. "Where's Ben?"

Rey's heart swelled upon hearing him use Ben's true name, instead of calling him Kylo Ren like last time. That was a start.

"He's sleeping. I thought...I thought that would be best."

"You don't want him to know you're talking to me?" His nostrils flared in anger. "Rey, if he won't let you talk to me--"

"Calm down," she interrupted his tirade, "that's not it at all. Last time we spoke, you and Dameron said some really hurtful things to us -- to _me._ Ben smashed my holophone just so I wouldn't be able to hear your insults. I didn't know if you would speak to me that way again, and I _just_ bought this phone. Besides, his presence seemed to set the two of you off."

"Sorry about that," Finn mumbled in embarrassment. 

"I just wanted to be able to have a conversation with you, is all...without any hot-headed men flanking us," she said wryly. 

He laughed at that, quick and breathy. "Poe is sorry too, by the way." He smiled comfortingly. "We've talked about it a lot. If you trust him -- if you believe that he's not Kylo Ren anymore -- then we will try and trust him too. We know that a Dyad is a package deal, and we want you back, even if it means accepting the other half of the coin."

Rey shook her head softly. "We are not simply two halves of the same coin, Finn; it goes so much deeper than that. Ben and I, we are One in the eyes of The Force; one single entity. We share a soul. We practically share minds -- we are in each other's heads almost constantly. I  _ know  _ Kylo Ren is gone as well as I know what I had for breakfast this morning." She stared into Finn's eyes, willing him to understand the gravity of what she was saying. "When we're apart, we can appear to each other. Even separated by galaxies and lightyears, we can still feel each other's skin, even share objects. We are yin and yang, yes, but we are so much more than that. What we share, it is a bond as strong as life itself."

"...you love him," he stated after a long pause. It wasn't a question.

"I do," Rey said without hesitation.

The two of them stared at each other in silence, Finn letting the conversation wash over him. Finally, he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"This isn't going to be easy for any of us, especially you."

"I'm aware of that. I'm prepared to face any of the consequences of my actions."

"You'll be morally judged for sure, but legally you should be fine." He looked uncomfortable about what he had to say next. "But Rey, no one is going to let Kylo Ren off the hook with just a slap on the wrist. Ben is going to be punished for his crimes."

Rey clenched her fist and held back tears. "I know he will." 

She did know. All along, in the back of her head, she knew. Their peace on Naboo was always going to be fleeting. She hoped to all the gods in the galaxy that they could someday return to it.

"The longer you wait, the harder they're going to be on him," Finn warned delicately.

Rey felt Ben stirring in the other room. She wiped her eyes and steeled her voice. "...I know that, too. I have to go, but I'll call you tomorrow. Goodnight, Finn."

She hung up before he could answer, throwing the holophone onto the sofa before returning to Ben. As she walked through the halls, she mapped out their plans for the immediate future in her head.

They will go to Ilum.

They will meditate with their crystals.

They will finish their lightsabers. 

They will go to Chandrila. 

They will face judgement.

Ben will be taken away from her.

Again. 


	31. Ilum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey and Ben made new lightsaber hilts, only missing their crystals. Rey spoke with Finn, discussing their future trip to Chandrila, knowing that ~Kylo Ren~ is going to have to turn himself in for disciplinary action upon arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Ilum is no more, but I'm pretending it wasn't completely destroyed by the attack. Also pretending that the First Order didn't completely mine all the caves for their Kyber. Artistic liberties, and such. Pretend with me.
> 
> Interesting fact about what ACTUALLY happened to Ilum, according to wookiepedia:  
> "Following the attack, led by Poe Dameron, the planet collapsed into a star that would later be named Solo after the legendary smuggler Han Solo, who died at Ilum."

In all honesty, Rey wasn't sure how any of the Kyber crystal mines on Ilum were still standing after their raging battle that took place on Starkiller Base years before. She supposed that The Force finds a way to protect certain things.

She and Ben had been walking through a cave for well over 15 minutes, lit only by the dull glow of the scattered gems embedded in the walls around them. 

"What's wrong with all of these crystals?" she finally asked in annoyance.

"The crystals must pick us, first. They will call out to us." Ben murmured distractedly in response.

Rey stopped moving and listened carefully. Ben made it a few meters away before realizing she was no longer with him. He turned around and looked at her, the confusion on his face illuminated by the shining crystals surrounding them.

"Why did you stop?" he wondered.

She stared at him obviously. "To listen. I couldn't hear over the sound of my footsteps."

Ben scrunched his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, looking far too much like Luke for either of their comfort. 

"I didn't mean," he sighed in exasperation, although clearly holding back laughter.

It dawned on Rey. "You meant they'll call through The Force, yep, got it," she muttered dumbly.

Ben's lips twitched, trying very hard not to smile at her. "Let's just keep going."

They only had to walk for a few more minutes before a strong pulse in The Force stopped them dead in their tracks. A strange melody played faintly in their minds, calling them closer to their crystals. Their feet automatically followed the siren song without question, leading them further into the dark cavern. The magnetizing pull drew them to the same section of the wall, where their hands reached out of their own accord, fingers brushing against each other as they went for the same gem.

This crystal was different from the others. Bigger. It was almost as if it were two gems fused into one -- two distinct shapes separated until merging at the middle. The music in their heads sped up, urging them to each clasp half of the crystal. As their fingers gripped it, the melody rose to its crescendo and a flash of light burst from their hands, bouncing off every other gem in the cave around them and temporarily blinding them. 

When the spots in their eyes cleared, they were both holding a single crystal in their palms. Rey noted that the Kyber felt right against her skin, as if clasping it tightly was the most natural thing in the universe. It was _hers,_ and judging by the look on Ben's face, his crystal was _his_ as well.

The crystals were two halves of a whole, just like them.

They made their way back to the Falcon hand-in-hand, their gems pressed together in their joined grasp. The crystals hummed and vibrated in their closed palms, clearly happy to remain in close contact with one another. 

Once aboard the ship, they stored their Kyber crystals together in a pouch and placed them next to their unfinished hilts. They went to the cockpit and Ben began preparing for lift-off, but Rey sat in the co-pilot's seat and stared out at the snow covered landscape deep in thought. The last time she was there, outside in that icy forest, she and Ben had fought. She had won, maiming him in the process. 

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Ben asked, suddenly above her. 

She twisted and looked up to meet his gaze, smiling sadly. "I'm just remembering.." she trailed off, not wanting or needing to say the words.

He nodded in understanding. "I was too, earlier."

Rey slowly lifted her hand to his face, lightly touching the now unblemished skin above his right eyebrow. He closed his eyes and let her trace her fingers down his cheek, following the line of where his old scar used to lie. She continued the path down his neck, stopping when she reached the end at Han's old blue jacket, which they had discovered deep in the closet in the captain's quarters of the Falcon.

"Thank you for healing it," he murmured about the scar. "Thank you for healing  _ me,  _ that day on the Death Star."

"I healed everything," she whispered back. "I was prepared to give you everything. All of my lifeforce, if needed."

Ben's eyes flew open. "What?" he gaped.

Rey smiled softly. "I would have died, if I had to."

"Rey," he frowned, "I was still Kylo Ren at that point. That was minutes after I was begging you to join the Dark Side. Why would you have given me your life then?"

"I believed in you, Ben. I always have. I told you, from the moment we touched hands, I knew that you would turn."

He didn't answer. 

He couldn't. 

What does one even say in response to that? 

Instead, he gently cradled the back of her head and leaned down, pressing his lips to her forehead. She melted under his touch with a sigh, while he held the kiss far longer than strictly necessary. She felt a dam open in their bond and suddenly she was drowning in his emotions. Gratefulness at her actions, disbelief that he could even have someone like her, inadequacy of feeling undeserving of her, all wrapped up in all-encompassing love. So much love that Rey's heart could break sheerly from how full it was becoming. 

When he finally pulled away, his lip quivered and jaw clenched before he turned around and plopped down into the pilot's seat.

"So," he cleared his throat as he changed the subject, "the trip to Chandrila will take roughly one standard week, give or take a few sleeps. That should give us enough time to meditate with our crystals and finish our sabers…" he pointedly looked away from her before saying the next part. "...and that's all the time we have left together."

Her head snapped to face him. He tried hiding his emotion, but Rey saw right through it. She didn't even need to look into his mind because his body language was so obvious; the way his knuckles were white from his strong grip on the controls, the way his other fingers shook as he flipped switches, and of course his eyes -- Ben's eyes  _ always  _ gave him away. 

"For now," Rey added. "That's all the time we have left together  _ for now." _

"For now," he repeated, clearly not believing it a single bit.

"It's going to be okay, Ben," she promised. "No matter what punishment they choose, I'll stay right by your side the entire time."

"Sweetheart, we both know that isn't possible. It's not like they're going to lock you up with me."

"Well maybe they won't imprison you at all," she said hopefully.

Ben let out a humorless laugh. "Of course they're going to imprison me. Prison is probably the nicest punishment they can give me anyway, considering the alternative."

_ Execution. _

That was the word circling in both of their minds, too horrible to even speak out loud.

"Maybe they'll go easy on you," Rey offered. "I'll testify to everything that happened on Exegol. They'll see that you're no longer Kylo Ren -- that you've been redeemed."

"I don't think it works like that. Besides, no matter what happens to me…" His voice lost volume with each word until he was whispering the last part. "...I deserve it."

They were both silent as the Falcon jumped into hyperspeed. 

There were no words left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like sketching these two idiots, so please give me scenes from this fic to draw and I'll post them 🥰


	32. Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> The two have finished their trip to Ilum, where they walked away with matching Kyber crystals. Ben is concerned that the rest of the flight to Chandrila is the last of their time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on Tumblr! Send me asks! (Questions or comments or anything really) I might also post little tiny updates and polls here and there 😊 (and a TON of memes and art)  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xayahmoonblood

Their first meditation session took place while they were stationed in a rural area refueling the Falcon. The moon they were on was outside both Republic and First Order jurisdiction, so they were hopeful that no one would recognize them there. They decided to stay parked there overnight, agreeing that it was the perfect chance to start bonding with their Kyber crystals.

"What colors do you think our sabers are going to be?" Rey wondered excitedly. "I hope not red."

Ben smiled softly as he emptied the crystals out of their pouch and into his palm. "Kyber does not turn red naturally. A Sith has to purposely bleed their crystal for it to turn red."

"Oh," she nodded in understanding. "You know, I used to think sabers were only blue and red, until I saw Luke's green one. Do the colors have meaning or anything?"

Ben handed over her crystal. "Yes. Green is a sign of maturity and thoughtfulness. They were typically the color carried by Jedi masters. Blue is a standard color for a Jedi. The Jedi guardians used them, like my grandfather -- back when he was still Anakin Skywalker, of course -- and Obi-Wan Kenobi, among many others."

Rey considered that for a few moments. "We'll probably get blue, huh?"

"Maybe. My saber was originally blue."

"It was?"

"Mm-hmm," he nodded, turning his Kyber between his fingers. "When I first made it, at least. I ended up modifying the entire thing after I turned to the Dark Side. To be honest, I did a sloppy job. My crystal was cracked and unstable, so the two side beams were actually vents for the extra heat. My hilt was crudely constructed -- inner mechanisms were exposed -- and the beams were volatile. I could have fixed it over the years, but I loved the erratic crackling and the violent danger it exuded."

Rey  _ laughed  _ at him. Actually, she fell into a fit of laughter. She laughed until she was curled over herself, clutching her pained stomach, still giggling uncontrollably. 

Ben was stoic the entire time. 

"What's so funny?" he finally asked, a slight tinge of anger in his voice.

It took a minute for Rey to catch her breath and find her voice. "Kylo Ren is! You were such an edge-lord back then!"

"I don't think I want to know what that term means…"

"Well all that you need to know is that it's something Poe used to call you, and that he was very right."

"Dameron is such an asshole," Ben sighed. "But then again, my mother  _ did  _ always have terrible taste when it came to choosing pets..."

"Ben!" she scolded, yet she still giggled anyway.

His anger faded away, replaced by a lop-sided grin. "Let's just begin our meditation."

"Okay." Rey nodded with a wide smile. "How long does this usually take?"

"We have to meditate with them to imbue them with The Force. This bonding process will take at least a few days."

"We'd better get started, then."

They sat together on a long seat in the sitting room of the Falcon, cross-legged and facing one another. Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath, centering herself. She let every sensation fall away, focusing all of her awareness on the crystal in her clasped palm. Summoning The Force was as easy to her now as breathing, so it didn't take long for her soul to fill with that balanced energy. Everything living, everything dying, what once was, what will be, the Light, the Dark, joy, grief, it all flowed through Rey and into her Kyber crystal like her body was a holy conduit of The Force. 

It stayed like that for a while, until her and Ben's bodies both suddenly jolted from a small but jarring impact. It was as if their minds bumped into each other; their consciousnesses began to flow together, blending until they were One. It was unexpected, but it was  _ right.  _ The crystals vibrated in their hands and hummed in approval while their minds melded together, sending The Force through their dual vessels like channels. 

During the second session, the same thing happened. They began to meditate and bond their crystals to themselves, but then their minds once again crashed into each other, pulled together by the Kyber they tightly clutched. The third session followed suit, turning their individual meditations into a shared experience.

In between the crystal bonding, they spent as much time together as they could. Whenever the Falcon was on autopilot or parked in uninhabited areas, they filled up their time by making love, playing games, and just generally holding onto each other. Poe had already taught Rey how to play Dejarik ages ago, which she loved. However, she never seemed to win against Ben, who she suspected was cheating. 

"I'm playing fair!" he insisted at her latest accusation. "I learned how to play from my uncle and he was the best!"

"Chewie was a notorious cheater!" she argued back. "Your mom and dad both told me that!"

"Look," he drawled, leaning back and stretching, "it's not my fault you're terrible at this. Maybe you should just be better."

She seethed and stood up, kicking the holo-chess table in anger. Ben just chuckled, showing off that damned smile that always melted her. It reminded her of their first kiss every time, instantly snuffing out her frustration.

Not to mention, his true smile turned her on  _ immensely. _

Stars, Ben was looking good lately. He'd always been handsome, even more so after renouncing Kylo Ren -- she still couldn't believe how much younger he looked when he showed up on Exegol -- but these days he was just  _ exquisite.  _

He had started to let Rey do his hair in buns once in a while, keeping his hair out of his face while they did routine maintenance and small repairs on the ship. His favorite was the current one, where only the top half of his hair was tied up in a knot. 

Both of their wardrobes consisted mainly of gray now (a compromise between his signature black and her usual white) but ever since they left Naboo, Ben had slowly started raiding his dad's closet on the Falcon. Some of Han's clothing was too small for Ben's broad shoulders and long legs, but most of the jackets were a near-perfect fit.

Ben would never say it aloud, but Rey knew that wearing his coats made him feel closer to Han. They suited him well, and if Rey ever saw him secretly give the lining a nostalgic sniff, she kept that to herself. After all, she couldn't even measure the amount of time she spent with her nose buried in Ben's old sweater after he died, finding comfort in his familiar scent.

However, none of that was going to stop her from pouting about Dejarik and her cheating bastard of a soulmate.

"I'm going to beat you at this game one day," she promised with a sigh, staring down at her poor, defeated, holographic creatures. 

"Sure you will," he grinned, knowing that neither of them believed it.

After six days and their fourth meditation, they decided that their crystals were ready to be installed into their hilts. They waited to put them into their sabers until a stretch of space where the Falcon was able to be put on autopilot. The two of them stood across from each other a sabers distance apart with bated breath, both anxious to see what colors awaited them.

"On three," Ben instructed, clutching his hilt tightly. "Ready?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded.

"Alright. One."

Rey clenched her jaw in anticipation.

"Two."

Her finger nervously hovered over the power switch.

"Three."

Both sabers ignited at the same time, filling the small room with the dual zipping sound of lasers cutting through air. Their faces glowed with the light of their matching colored plasma, bathing their skin in a brilliant shade of violet. 

"Purple," Rey huffed with a smile. "A mix of red and blue."

"Balance," Ben whispered in awe. He moved his saber through the air, giving it a small test swing. "Purple lightsabers signify a connection to both the Light Side and the Dark Side of The Force."

She followed his lead, snapping her own saber to its full length. It felt so perfectly  _ right  _ in her hand. "How common is it?"

"Not common at all. I've heard of one member of the old Jedi counsel having a purple saber, but that's it."

They shared a coy look with each other, projecting their thoughts. With a spin of her body and a twirl of her saber, Rey suddenly brought her weapon down on Ben, who effortlessly blocked her attack with his own saber. He gave her a wry smile before twisting out of the way, trading his defensive stance for an offensive one. He quickly ducked under her next swing and swept his saber under her feet, which she easily evaded by jumping onto the bench against the wall. She misjudged the length of her saber -- slightly longer than her old staff -- but even the tearing sound and burning smell of the ripped cushions under her feet wasn't enough to interrupt their playful sparring. They moved together like a perfectly choreographed dance, striking and blocking with steps so graceful they might as well have been on a ballroom floor. 

They laughingly fought until the ship alerted them of an approaching asteroid field. The alarm blared, momentarily distracting them both. Rey's closed saber was mid-swing, too much momentum built up to stop it in time. Her dual beams sliced across Ben's arm, thankfully not close enough to touch his skin.

Han's jacket, on the other hand, was not so lucky.


	33. Chandra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Our duo finished their lightsabers! Rey's dual/staff saber and Ben's improved crossguard saber both turned out purple! Rey accidentally slashed Han's infamous blue jacket (from Empire Strikes Back) while Ben was wearing it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait! Hopefully the length of this chapter makes up for it <3

"I mourned him, you know," Ben stated out of the blue before taking a swig of his drink. 

"Mourned who?" Rey wondered, nursing her own beverage. 

He set the empty glass down with a loud thud before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes flicked over to Han's torn jacket, the right sleeve charred and barely hanging on. 

"My dad." 

"Oh?" she urged curiously. 

"Yeah." With a solemn sigh, he poured more Corellian whiskey into his glass, letting the clink of liquid on ice cubes fill the silence. "I wanted to find his body; I wanted to cremate him and send his ashes to my mom and Uncle Chewie. It would have cleared my conscience just a tiny bit." 

"Did you find him?" 

"No." He downed the entire glass of alcohol in one go, Adam's apple bobbing with every swallow. "I didn't look. Snoke was in my head all of the time, so he found out before I could even try. That was one of the more savage punishments I received." 

Anger swelled in Rey's chest. "What did he do to you?" 

"Lashes. I lost count of how many." 

She thought back to the throne room, remembering the whips Snoke's army fought with; specifically the electro-plasma filaments conducting the violent currents that ran through them. "How...how did you survive that, let alone come out unscathed? You didn't even have a scratch on your back the night I saw you in just your trousers." 

"I survived because I’m strong,” he said arrogantly, making her roll her eyes at his overconfident tone. “But I did pass out from the pain at some point...or maybe from blood loss. It burned like hell, but they were whipping me too fast for the plasma to cauterize my skin. I counted forty-three lashes before the overwhelming wetness of blood on my bare back took up my attention. I genuinely thought that I was going to die that day. I remember not caring if I lived or not, and even embracing the blackness as it overtook me. I woke up the next day in the med bay. Our med droids had been quick to apply bacta patches to stop my back from scarring long-term. There were no painkillers on the Supremacy though, because Snoke considered them a hindrance. He trained us to use the pain to fuel our hate." 

"Is that why you kept punching the wound on your arm during our fight on Ilum?" she cut in. 

"Mm-hmm," he hummed around the rim of his glass as he took a quick drink. "It's also why Snoke had me back training less than an hour after I regained consciousness." 

Rey was silent, sipping her drink in quiet contemplation. She hadn't thought about Snoke in so long -- not since her grandfather had returned. She had almost forgotten how much she hated that vile creature. The thought of him lashing Ben made her far angrier than the memory of him torturing her did. 

She finished off her whiskey and Ben picked up the bottle in a silent offer. She gave a small nod and he slowly poured more into her glass. 

"When you killed Snoke," she started, twisting toward him until their knees touched. "When you did that to save my life...that was the moment I first realized that I could love you. It broke my heart to leave you that day." 

He reached out and took her empty hand, turning it over to softly trace patterns on her palm. "It broke my heart too. I didn't understand why you refused. I thought…" He stared down at their hands and took another swig of whiskey. "I didn't believe that you could ever love me in the way that I already loved you, but I thought that I could persuade you to join me by offering you power. Even if you were to try and use me for your own agenda, at least we would still be ruling together...and I'd have a shot at earning your love." 

"Ben," she said with a sad smile, "I was afraid you just wanted to use me too." 

He let out a humorless laugh and pressed his forehead to hers. "We wasted so much time." 

"We did," she agreed. 

"And now we don't have any left." Ben pulled away and took a long drink, finishing it before setting it back on the table. "We have to talk about it," he whispered quietly. 

"No we don't." Rey's voice was shaky, even to her own ears. "I don't want to." 

"Neither do I," he admitted under his breath. "But it needs to be discussed, sweetheart. We have to prepare for any outcome." 

"You mean prepare for one specific outcome and you know it." 

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before placing his elbows to his knees, bending to bury his face in his palms. His hands flexed, running up and down his cheeks in frustration. "What if that _is_ the outcome?" 

She rubbed the traitorous tears out of her eyes. "Say it. You claim you want to talk about it, and yet you can't even speak the words. Say it, Ben." 

He threw his hands down angrily and sat up straight, looking her directly in the eyes. "What if they execute me, Rey?" 

"I won't let them," she promised through gritted teeth. "We can run. If they choose that punishment, I'll break you out and we'll run away together. Back to Naboo." She threw back her whiskey, shaking her head at the burn in her throat. "Or somewhere else far away. I don't care where we go, just as long as you're safe there." 

"And if they decide to kill me on the spot? What if there is no chance to run?" 

"...we fight." 

"We fight?" he repeated incredulously. "You do realize it would be your friends we would have to fight, don't you?" 

"I…" she stumbled, not knowing what to say next. This was not a situation she wanted to think about – a situation that was inconceivable in the first place. "It won't come to that. It can't. It just can't." 

Rey stared into Ben's vulnerable eyes, her vision beginning to cloud over with tears. She didn't want to cry anymore. Not tonight. 

Not on their last night together. 

She looked away from those raw, unguarded eyes that threatened to break her. She turned her attention to the bottle of Corellian whiskey, courtesy of Han Solo and aged to perfection. Before she could change her mind, she swiped the bottle and began drinking straight from it with a pained expression. She got a few big gulps in before Ben ripped it from her hands. Whiskey dribbled from her lips as she coughed, choking from the strong bitterness that made her entire body shiver. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Rey?!" he exclaimed, his voice landing somewhere between concern and frustration. 

A warm feeling began to wash over her along with a pleasant buzzing in her brain, counteracting against the sudden ache in her stomach and flames lingering in her throat. She drunkenly smiled at Ben, whose disbelieving face was looking downright angelic with the lavender light reflected through the cockpit window glowing around him like a halo. 

Right now, she could forget. 

She could forget that they were parked on one of Chandrila's moons for the night. 

She could forget that Ben would face judgement the next day. 

She could forget about the terrifying uncertainty of their future. 

Right now, all she could think about was the fire blazing through her veins and her soulmate's soft, plush lips. 

"Kiss me, Ben." 

"What?" His brows furrowed in confusion as he slowly placed the bottle on the opposite side of the table, out of Rey's reach. 

"Kiss me," she pleaded again. "Please, I don't want to think anymore -- I just want to lose myself in your lips." 

Ben's face softened in understanding. He licked his lips and nodded while his intense eyes bore into hers. He gently pulled and maneuvered her so that she was straddling his lap, looking down into his dilated pupils; up close, she could see that the alcohol was affecting him more than he let on. She leaned in, softly pressing her lips to his. His hands caressed the sides of her face, tenderly holding her still while he led the kiss. The act was intimate and chaste with no desperation or expectation of it leading to sex; it was just two people, enjoying the sacred moment. Their kiss held all the comfort of coming home, effectively calming her former anxiety. 

"I love you, sweetheart," Ben murmured against her lips. 

He reached up to the buns on her head, deftly undoing them so that her hair fell and framed her face in waves. He thread his fingers through it to hold the back of her head. She began to return the _I love you,_ and Ben used the opportunity to slide his tongue into her open mouth. He tasted like whiskey and the sweets they'd eaten earlier, so intoxicating that she didn't even mind being interrupted. 

They kissed for what felt like hours. They kissed until their lips melded together to fit like corresponding puzzle pieces. They kissed until their tongues knew every detail of each other's mouths. They kissed until Rey felt his cock stirring underneath her, getting hard against her core. 

She pulled away slightly. "Ben--" 

**You can ignore it,** he thought quickly, immediately chasing after her lips; he made a relieved _mmm s_ ound when he caught them. **It's okay. We can just keep kissing.**

**No,** she replied through the bond, moving her lips lower. "I wan' you," she slurred out against his jaw -- the whiskey was really kicking in now. She pressed wet open-mouth kisses up to his ear, giving his lobe a short nip and a long suck. "Wan' allofyou." 

Ben moaned in response as he slid his hands down her sides until he reached her ass, cupping her cheeks with a tight grip. 

"Iwantyoutoo," he mumbled out in a rush, his brain misfiring while his hips bucked against the warmth between her legs with a mind of their own. 

"Then take me," she purred in his ear. 

Before she knew it, she was on her back with Ben on top of her devouring her mouth again, her left leg landing on the table. She flailed it around trying to find footing, accidentally kicking the nearly empty bottle of whiskey to the floor. Ben heard the crash but his movement didn't falter at the sound of breaking glass; he just dug his fingers into her thigh and held it tighter against his hip. When he was certain she'd leave it there, he let go and pulled away to attend to the _absurd_ amount of layers she was wearing. 

"Too many clothes," he grumbled under his breath while he worked off her belt. Now all that he had left was her vest, undershirt, breast band, boots, leggings, and panties. 

"Absurd," Rey giggled in agreement to his thoughts. "Ge' yours off firs' then." 

Ben smiled devilishly as he sat up on his knees. He threw his arm outwards and the whiskey bottle – somehow still intact – floated from the ground and into his open palm. He seemed to sense her confusion. 

"It was the cups tha' broke," he said as he brought the bottle to his lips with a wink. He began to chug it, getting about three long swigs in before Rey sharply nudged her thigh into his hip. "Ow!" he exclaimed, spilling the whiskey that was in his mouth onto her belly, soaking her vest. 

"H'come you can drin' from the bottle and I can't?" she huffed without missing a beat. 

"B'cause _I,"_ he poked himself in the chest and took another drink in spite, "can handle it." He drunkenly grinned at her, looking down and chuckling softly at himself while he examined the prominent bulge in his pants. He moved his gaze from the long outline of his erection to Rey's blown pupils, his own eyes lidded with lust. "Wha'bout you?" he asked, catching her staring at his cock now too. "Can you handle it?" 

"Shu’ the fuck up an’kiss me." She surged up and met him halfway, both moaning when their lips reunited. She began to yank at his tunic. "Get this kriffing thing off!" she demanded against his mouth. 

She managed to get his shirt off without his help, because he was busy focusing all of his attention on her neck; she would have to wear her hair down tomorrow to hide the bruises he was surely sucking into her skin. She let out a frustrated sigh and closed her eyes in concentration. She used The Force to pull off her boots and then did the same to his. He looked up when his shoes and socks were off, his face twisted in confusion while his whiskey-addled brain struggled to comprehend what had just happened. She rolled her eyes at his current uselessness and pulled her knees to her chest and shimmied out of her pants and underwear. Ben snapped his head to look so fast that his hair whipped around his face. She threw her bottoms to the ground while he ogled her, his face full of wonder like he was seeing his first vagina. 

She groaned in annoyance. 

"You gonna fuck me, Ben?" 

He nodded over-enthusiastically. "All night long, swee'heart." 

He slid his pants down with a wiggle, just low enough to free his leaking cock. He lowered himself over her, supporting himself with one forearm braced by her head while he aimed his dick to her entrance with his other hand. He dropped his head to kiss her deeply as he pushed in, both gasping pitchy noises into each other's mouths. They paused when he was buried inside her to the hilt, letting Rey adjust to the shape of him. 

He began to thrust, bending over her, crowding her. With his warm body on her and the _a_ _bsurd_ amount of clothing she still had on, she realized that she was hot. 

_Very ho_ _t._

_Hot_ _hot_ _hot._

She whined into the heated skin of his neck. “I’m hot, so hot.”

“Yeah,” he growled, “so hot. Hottest lil’ thing I’ve ever seen.” 

“No,” she snorted. “Temper'ture. ‘S hot.” 

He pulled away and ran his hand through his hair. “So sorry swee'art,” he apologized as he began taking off the rest of her clothes. 

She wriggled around, tearing at her clothing, trying and failing to help Ben. She finally gave up and fell back limp, letting him finish it by himself. 

When she was fully nude, he somehow managed to stand up with his pants hanging just below his ass and Rey wrapped around him, still fully impaled on his dick. Her face turned into one of pure wonder. 

“Did'ju haf to use The Force to do that?” 

“Not tellin',” he smirked. 

She rolled her eyes. “Le's go to bed.” 

He found her lips with his and hummed against them in agreement. He began to walk towards the captain’s quarters, which proved difficult with Rey clinging to him and writhing on his cock. 

Naturally, he stumbled. 

He was able to catch himself on a wall, but that didn’t stop Rey’s soaked cunt from sliding off of him. She barely had time to place her feet on the ground before Ben was turning her around on her tiptoes and pressing her tits against the cold, metal wall. He lifted her leg up and out to the side and entered her, supporting her with his other arm wrapped around her body. And if he happened to use that hand holding her up to play with her clit? Well that was a very happy accident. 

It wasn’t long before Ben’s cock was hitting every spot _just right_ _,_ and somehow the whiskey had Rey so wound up and so relaxed at the same time. Before she knew it she was rising, overflowing, fucking _flying_ and Ben was right there, gasping against the back of her neck and following her over the edge. 

Soon -- _t_ _oo soon_ \-- his dick softened and slipped out of her and ended their shared orgasm. They both began to sag as they came down until they were just sort of leaning against the wall and each other at the same time. 

“So,” Rey grinned, still trying to catch her breath, “am I really _‘the hottest_ _lil'_ _thing you’ve ever_ _seen’_?” 

He smiled devilishly in return, turning and pressing his hands against the wall, effectively caging her between his arms. “Abs'lutely.” He began to make his way down her body, puncturing each word he spoke with a soft kiss. “You’re. Hotter. Than. Mustafar.” 

By the time he made his way to her cunt, she was already trembling and running her fingers through his impossibly soft hair. 

“Bennnnnn,” she moaned softly. “Take me tah bed.” 

He acknowledged her with a nod and a smile, moving his tongue up and down and making her giggle. He stood and grabbed her hand, and then they were laughing and chasing each other to their quarters. They fell onto the bed in a mess of crashing lips and tangled limbs. 

Rey was getting sleepy, but that thought was in the back of her head because Ben’s mouth was on her again and the only thing she was capable of thinking was his name as it spilled from her lips. She chanted it, _p_ _rayed it,_ until she felt herself once again nearing her peak. 

No offense to Leia, but Ben was a son of a bitch; she whined those thoughts aloud after he pulled his mouth off moments before she could finish. 

“Nah' yet,” he teased. 

He crawled up her body, kissing her neck while slowly slipping his cock inside of her. His thrusts were almost lazy, like someone had sapped all of the energy out of him. Rey felt the tiredness as well, but it all felt too good to stop. Her vision was starting to blur around the edges and her head felt floaty. She was out of her body and all she could do was feel the pleasure Ben was giving her. 

Until he stopped. 

“Can you get on top? ‘M tired.” 

It took a few seconds for his words to make their way through the maze in her drunk brain, but eventually they registered and she nodded. He rolled over with a grunt and flopped down on his back. She climbed on top and positioned herself over his dick, sliding down with ease. Ben made a high, breathy noise when she was completely filled. 

She placed her hands on his pecs for support while she began to ride him. His chest was so soft under her palms, and she remembered what comfortable pillows they made. She lowered herself down until she was lying with their entire torsos fused together. It wasn’t a great angle for her to fuck him at, but his arms encircled her tightly to keep her there. She stilled her movements, keeping his dick inside of her. 

“Comfy,” she mumbled against his chest. 

“Mmm,” he agreed with a drunk smile. 

“Sleep?” she asked, her eyelids barely staying open. 

“Sleep,” he yawned. 

She couldn’t help but yawn herself. “Nigh'-night, Ben.” 

She was met with the sound of soft snores into the crown of her head before she herself passed out too. 

She dreamed. 

She was on Naboo, with Ben. 

They stood together in their secret spot: a patch of grass bordering the edge of a small lake at the bottom of a cliff. There was a small waterfall showering down in the otherwise calm body of water. They used to climb down the rocks to picnic and swim there. 

Rey looked at Ben with a playful smirk. “Remember when you dared me to jump off that cliff into this lake?” 

Ben rolled his eyes. “No, I remember saying ‘no, Rey, don’t jump off that cliff. The water looks too shallow,’ and you said ‘don’t tell me what to do,’ and then jumped off the cliff anyway. The water _was_ too shallow and you broke your leg and I had to Force heal it.” 

“Preeeetty sure you dared me to.” She looked at the little lake with the refreshing mist of the waterfall, then back to Ben. She eyed him up and down while biting her lip; she was going to make the most of this dream. “Wanna skinny dip?” 

Ben shed his clothes faster than a fathier at full speed. Rey giggled and did the same, running behind him into the water. 

They were in one another’s arms almost immediately, devouring each other while they moved deeper into the water. When Rey’s toes no longer touched the ground, she held onto Ben’s shoulders while he led them even deeper. Their legs softly kicked to keep them afloat, their thighs gently skimming against each other while they made out. 

Rey got the brilliant idea to reach down and stroke his cock. He moaned against her lips while he grew hard in her palm. Once he was fully erect, he wasted no time grabbing her hips and lifting until he was lined up to her cunt. 

Sex felt different in water. It washed away most of her own slick, making his entrance rather dry. It pinched. It hurt. 

_The pain felt amazing._

Of course with no gravity, he couldn’t exactly fuck her. He pulled her towards the shallow end until he could plant his feet on the ground. Until the water only reached his knees while he held her, the little brat bouncing on his cock like she wanted them to fall. Until Rey’s back was pressed into the muddy shoreline, her head on the grass and Ben above her, inside her, while the water covered them like a blanket. 

They made love for hours. Every time one of them got close to an orgasm, they would ride that edge and pull away. It was the most delicious torture; the most beautiful agony. 

When they finally let themselves come together, it was intense. It felt real. 

_Too real._

When Rey woke up, she was sprawled across the wide expanse of Ben’s chest, her face wet from the drool she left pooling in his collarbone. His dick was still buried in her and she relished the feeling. 

_Connected._

She didn’t want to move, but the position was giving her a crick in her neck. She slowly slid off of his cock, finding a fresh batch of cum leaking out of her. 

Ben must have also had a wet dream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this smut will tide you over for a while...next stop, Chandrila
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xayahmoonblood


	34. Last Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey and Ben spent their last night together on Chandra, one of Chandrila's moons. Now it's time for them to head towards Ben's birthplace for him to face judgement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the long wait :(  
> come bug me on tumblr and tell me to write faster: www.tumblr.com/blog/xayahmoonblood

Rey was on Jakku, alone. 

She stood in the exact same place her parents had left her, while memories swirled around her. 

She saw a ship, flying away from this cursed planet. 

She heard a young girl’s shrieks, echoing the words “come back! Don’t leave me!” over and over until it became background noise. 

She felt a large grotesque man suddenly pulling on her arm, barking that “it’s time to grow up, little girl.” She yanked her arm out of Plutt's strong grip, terrified and ready to run far away from the bastard that made her his ward. Thank Force, the Blobfish disappeared and instead she saw Ben behind him, holding out his hand. 

As she reached out to take it, it all changed. It turned into a red room, where Ben was now an unhinged man offering her the universe in his trembling, gloved hand. His eyes were begging for her to take it, while a small “please” floated from his quivering lips. Her hand got closer and everything changed again. 

She was now in a quiet place, the only sound being crackling wood and heavy breaths. Ben was now a lonely man desperate for someone to finally understand him, and the words “not alone" hung in the air between them, as heavy and thick as fog. His bare hand, bathed in firelight, reached for hers in uncertainty. Their fingers grazed together in an unending moment of pure acceptance, two halves of a separated soul recognizing each other after so many years apart. When she started to grip his hand, he changed back into the current Ben. 

_Her Ben._

Her beautiful, unscarred Ben whose gray cowl was shining white under the radiant Jakku sun. He gave her his soft, chuckling grin, filling her with an indescribable amount of happiness…until his smile slowly fell and eyelids drooped as his face went slack. He slid his hand out of her grasp and he turned away, leaving Rey screaming his name desperately. As he left her behind, he began to slowly fade away, dissolving into a blue shade of nothingness. 

When he disappeared completely and she stood alone, she woke up crying in an empty bed. 

“Ben?!” she shouted frantically, sitting up. 

Moments later, he ran into the room holding his lit saber, poised to strike whatever threat had her sobbing for him in fear. “What is it?!” 

“You’re here,” she gasped in relief. 

He looked around the room warily before he extinguished his saber and crossed the room to sit next to her on the bed. He brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. 

“Where else would I be?” he murmured, pulling away to look her in the eyes. 

“I had a nightmare. You…left me. Again. You left me.” 

“Never,” he said vehemently. “I would never leave you. Even if I die today, I will always be with you. I’ll be one with The Force again, following you across the galaxy and annoying you.” 

That made her laugh, a small smile appearing as she wiped her tears. “No one’s ever really gone,” she whispered. Leia once confided to her that Luke said those words to her shortly before he died, telling her that Ben was still there in Kylo Ren, somewhere deep down. 

Luke was right in more ways than one; Ben Solo would never truly be gone. 

“I am sorry you awoke alone, though,” Ben cut into her thoughts. “I was just brewing us up some caf for the hangovers.” 

_Hangovers._

As soon as he said the word, she became acutely aware of the throbbing in her head and nausea in her stomach. Her insides churned and she felt saliva begin to flood into her mouth, her body preparing to vomit. 

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” he asked in concern as he took in her wide, far-off stare. 

Rey looked at him in horror as a gag caught in her throat, bile blocked by her closed mouth. She shoved Ben aside, booked it to the fresher and slammed the button to close the door, but the noise of her retching still seemed to fill the entire ship. It was mainly dry-heaving and stomach acid, but _kriff_ it hurt. 

Through their bond, she felt Ben reacting to the sound of her throwing up. The fresher door flew open and she managed to stop and move out of his way as he crashed to the floor and started vomiting into the toilet. She used the back of her hand to quickly wipe her mouth before she scooted to kneel over Ben. She held his hair back for him while he gagged in pain, puking up what appeared to be some caf that he drank before she woke up. 

She started snickering. 

“You were once Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, Master of the Knights of Ren; now you’re Ben Solo, the last Skywalker, heir to the Organa fortune, Prince of Alderaan and Naboo, and yet you can’t even hear someone vomiting without throwing up too?” 

“Shut.” A dry gag. “Up.” A wet cough. 

She was too amused at the revelation that Ben gets squeamish to even think about the pain in her own stomach. 

“What else grosses you out?” she wondered excitedly. “Not blood or violence, obviously. Needles? Hmm…oh! What about the word ‘moist'? Poe hates that one.” 

“None of those,” he rasped, removing his head from the toilet bowl, “but I’ll keep that one in mind to fuck with Dameron.” 

They took turns brushing their teeth before making their way to the galley of the ship. Not only had Ben brewed them caf, but the beeping in the kitchenette signaled that he also made breakfast. While he went to check on it, she grabbed her mug from the table and took a sip. He hadn’t just poured it for her; he’d also added the perfect amount of her Ishi Tib-cracked coconut flavored syrup. Han once told her that a sign of love is knowing how your partner takes their caf. Ben has always said he likes his caf black and bitter, but Rey knew that secretly he actually prefers it with lots of cream and sugar. 

Ben came back into the room with a plate full of biscuits. 

“I threw these in the oven when I woke up. I figured they would help with the nausea.” 

“You are a smart man, Solo.” 

She grabbed one, still hot, before he could even set them down. She shoved the entire thing in her mouth, no semblance of table manners whatsoever; at least she had finally learned to chew with her mouth closed, though. 

“You are such a scavenger,” Ben smiled and shook his head. “You’re not even going to add butter first?” 

“Is that a thing???” she mumbled around a mouthful of food, eyes wide. 

“It’s a _great_ thing,” he promised as he picked up a biscuit. He took the knife and sliced it in two before slathering one half in butter, which he then offered to her. 

Rey immediately grabbed it with her greedy little scavenger hands. She swallowed her dry biscuit and took a tentative bite of the new one given to her. When she tasted it, her face lit up brighter than a supernova. 

Ben just chuckled as he buttered and ate the other half. “Someday, you should try it with fruit preserves.” 

The breakfast – along with some expired pain medication they found in the fresher – dulled their hangovers to a manageable level. They had woken up early enough to have a little bit of time to kill before they had to leave Chandra and fly to the moon’s planet. They shared a suggestive glance at one another, both knowing exactly how to spend their last moments together… 

Ben won the game of Dejarik, as always. 

_Fucker._

The flight to Chandrila was largely uneventful. There were silent moments, moments where they conversed only through the bond, and moments where they simply spoke aloud. There were moments where they talked as co-pilots, moments where they talked as strangers, moments where they talked as best friends, and moments where they talked as lovers. 

During all of those moments, they talked as soulmates. 

When they entered the planet’s atmosphere, it was time to call Finn. Rey reached for the communicator, pausing inches from the dial to look at Ben. There was sweat beading on his brow and anxiety rolling off him in waves. 

“There’s still time to back out, Ben,” she said earnestly. “We can turn around and never come back.” 

He turned his head back and forth, shaking loose the nervous thoughts and steeling himself. “No,” his voice was determined, “I’m doing this. It’s something that I need to do.” 

“Are you sure?” She spoke with intent, stressing the weight of this decision. 

“Positive,” he answered resolutely, before nodding towards the communication controls under Rey’s hovering fingers. “Call him.” 

“I love you, Ben,” she murmured while she searched for the frequency she was given. 

“I love you too, Rey,” he said, with an obvious lump in his throat. 

It was then that Finn’s voice came through the Falcon's speakers. 

“Rey!” 

“Finn! We just entered Chandrila’s atmosphere and are en route to Hanna City now. Is everything ready?” 

“Yeah. Poe – I mean _General Dameron,”_ there was an obvious smile in his voice, “has it all set up. Ben is going to be brought into custody immediately after you land. Poe will board the ship alone, and the two of you will escort Ben into the citadel together. There will be plenty of soldiers present.” He seemed to be holding his breath. “And guys? Be prepared. There’s a crowd. A big one. Word got out that Rey apprehended Kylo Ren, and people aren’t exactly fond of him. It’s practically a riot out there…and they want Ben’s head.” 

“There are going to be assassination attempts,” Ben said flatly. 

“That’s why I’ll be there,” Rey promised. 

“That’s why you’ll be there,” Finn agreed. “You’ll have your lightsaber in hand and turned on. Everyone will just think it’s to keep Ben under control, but really it’s to protect him. The troop will be on guard too, but you have quicker reflexes and the help of The Force, so it’s mainly going to be down to you.” 

“And when we’re safely inside the building?” Rey asked automatically, her brain used to mission briefings at this point. 

“Ben will be taken to a prison cell designed to hold him, until his trial this evening.” 

Ben laughed. “A cell designed just for me? How sweet,” he drawled in a sardonic tone. 

“Ben!” Rey scolded. 

“Oh come on, Rey,” he defended. “It’s not like they could create a cell to contain me, anyway. Not that I’m going to escape or anything,” he added on for Finn’s benefit. 

“Actually,” Finn sounded arrogant, “we found an ancient artifact that neutralizes The Force.” 

“That’s impossible,” Ben murmured in shock. 

“That’s. That’s blasphemy!” Rey sputtered. 

Ben leaned closer to whisper. “Sweetheart, you once shoved The Force up my ass, remember?” 

“I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!” Finn shouted through the comm. 

Rey turned red while Ben remained unfazed. 

“Don’t act so scandalized, 2187,” Ben used his Stormtrooper number almost like a term of endearment, “where do you think Rey learned about the prostate in the first place?” 

Finn was silent for a few moments. 

“I’m going to kill Poe,” he finally grumbled under his breath. “Anyway, our scientists were able to use that artifact to construct a cell and even handcuffs. From the moment Poe boards your ship, Ben will be completely cut off from The Force.” 

“How fun,” Ben said lifelessly. 

Rey swallowed dryly. “We’ll see you soon, Finn.” She muted their side of the communicator, leaving it tuned to the same frequency in case he needed to speak to them again. “Ben? How far are we from Hanna City?” 

Ben stared ahead unblinking. “We’re about an hour out.” 

“How fun,” she repeated, copying him. 

It was difficult to steer one-handed, but that didn’t stop them from holding hands the entire flight, which was simultaneously the shortest and longest hour they’d ever experienced. The sun was setting when they finally arrived at the capital city. 

“Do you remember which building is the citadel?” Rey asked, her eyes trained on Ben and memorizing every mole on his handsome face just in case. 

“Yes, but even if I didn’t,” Ben pointed in front of them, “it would be a pretty easy guess.” 

She turned her attention in the direction of his finger. He was pointing her to a tall building surrounded by the biggest crowd she had ever seen. Finn was wrong; it wasn’t a riot. 

It was a _party._

A giant group of people gathered around the citadel awaiting their arrival, all celebrating the capture of Kylo Ren. They had balloons. They had homemade signs that were still too far away for Rey to read. They had paper mâché dolls of Kylo Ren, all holding his recognizable saber and all missing his head, squirting red streamers from his neck like blood. 

Rey felt the color drain from her face, actually heard the blood leaving her head with the sound of rushing water in her ears. Her heart simultaneously sunk down into her belly and rose up into her throat. Her stomach was so suddenly tied in knots that she didn’t even realize how hard she was clasping Ben’s hand, leaving tiny crescent indents where her short nails dug in. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Ben soothed calmly. “I was expecting something like this.” 

“But Ben,” she said with a dry mouth, “they’re _happy._ How can they celebrate and root for someone’s death? It’s cruel!” 

“I was cruel,” he reminded her. “I have done unspeakable things, Rey. I’ve slaughtered entire planets because I was caught up in my hero-worship of Darth Vader -- a monstrous tyrant that Anakin himself renounced. I spent my entire adult life trying to follow my grandfather’s footsteps, and I suppose I did; after all, we both found The Light again through a fight on the Death Star with someone we love.” 

“Yeah, well,” Rey frowned; of course she understood why people felt that way, “I still don’t like this.” 

“Me neither,” Ben said under his breath. 

The guards on the ground directed their ship to a large space behind the citadel reserved for their landing. When they hit the ground, they became momentarily distracted by the mob on either side of the designated pathway into the building. They were finally close enough to read the signs. 

_Slay the Supreme Leader_

_Fuck the First Order_

_Kill Kylo_

_Kill Kylo_

_Kill Kylo_

_KILL KYLO_

_K I L L K Y L O_

“I’m going to vomit again,” Rey rasped. 

“Please don’t,” Poe’s voice came from behind them; they were too focused on the protesters to even hear him board the ship. 

“Hey, Dameron,” Ben greeted dryly, not even bothering to turn and face him. “Long time no see.” 

Poe rolled his eyes. “I’d say it’s nice to see you, but that would be a lie. How’ve you been? How was being dead?” 

“Not too bad.” Ben finally turned around with a smirk. “The afterlife isn’t too bad -- a little _moist,_ but not too bad.” 

Rey practically saw Poe’s soul leave his body when he cringed at the word. Ben chuckled softly at himself as he stood up and Rey followed suit. 

“Let’s just get this over with,” she sighed, brushing her fingers down Ben’s arm until she was squeezing his palm in solidarity, wordlessly reminding him that they would get through this together as a team. “Time to face the music.” 

Ben slid his hand from Rey’s grasp and presented his hands to Poe, forearms braced together face up in a silent offering. Both he and Rey looked pointedly down at the Force-suppressing handcuffs held by Poe, who nodded at their implication. He slipped the manacles around Ben’s wrist, locking them in place with a loud snap. 

The cord that tethered the Dyad severed. 

Rey and Ben both flinched in sudden agony, the absence of their bond unbearable. To Rey, it felt exactly like after Ben slipped away on Exegol, and she assumed it felt to him like when she died there as well. 

“No!” Rey shrieked, throwing herself at Ben, who met her halfway. She ducked under his cuffs to stand inside his arms, both holding each other tightly. “Take them off!” she screeched at Poe. 

“What’s wrong?!” Poe shot back in worry. 

“You’ve disconnected us, you son of a bitch!” Ben yelled, voice livid. 

Rey had already lived through this same pain for months while Ben was dead. She couldn’t do it again. 

_She couldn’t._

“It hurts, Poe! Please, take them off!” she begged with a sob. 

“You know I can’t,” Poe said with authority. “The cuffs stay on.” 

“Is it really necessary?!” Rey and Ben asked at the same time. 

“In front of them,” he pointed outside of the ship, “yes it is.” 

Poe was right, of course. It was imperative that they keep up the charade of Ben being a prisoner for a number of reasons, but for his own safety if nothing else. Rey stood up straight and composed herself, lifting her head from Ben’s chest but still remaining safely encircled in his arms. 

“We can do this, sweetheart,” Ben promised in a whisper. 

Rey steeled her nerves while he lifted his arms, allowing her to duck out of them. She gave Poe a long stare, letting The Force roll off her in waves. He flinched at the sudden supremacy that she wielded over him. 

“When we get inside that building,” she commanded, eyes glowing ever so slightly, “the cuffs come off.” 

Poe gulped and nodded. 

The three of them approached the Falcon’s door and stared out at the scene in front of them. Rey reached down to the two sabers she wore, hers on her left hip and Ben’s on her right. She grabbed her own lightsaber and brought it down to her side, igniting it with a zip and bathing her hand in a royal shade of purple. 

“New lightsaber?” Poe commented nonchalantly. “It’s interesting. Never seen one with two parallel beams before.” 

Rey kept eye contact with him as she flicked her wrist and snapped her saber to its full length so that it resembled her old staff. Poe’s brows rose, his face appearing impressed. 

Ben sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m ready.”


	35. Chandrila

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on:  
> Rey and Ben arrived at Hanna City, the capitol city of Chandrila, where Ben is set to face sentencing for his war crimes.

Their first steps off of the Falcon were exactly that: 

_ First steps. _

First steps into a new, unfamiliar environment. 

First steps into a new, uncertain future. 

First steps into a new  _ life. _

When Ben set foot on the pavement, the roar of the crowd was deafening. The soldiers on either side of their pathway immediately had to hold people back. Judging by the shouts and slurs coming from the horde, the First Order had killed a loved one of everyone present, and it was easiest to hold the Supreme Leader personally responsible. There was no denying that Ben had plenty of blood on his hands, but Snoke's and Palpatine’s hands were  _ dripping  _ with it. Except, it was hard to blame the dead, and Ben was a good lightening rod for their hatred. 

They were halfway to the citadel before the first attempt on Ben’s life was made. 

Rey sensed the exact moment the would-be assassin pulled the trigger, alerting her before anyone else even heard the blaster fire. Luckily she had the reflexes of a nexu, and with that feline level of agility she was able to use her saber to deflect the shot, mere inches from Ben’s face. 

Her hand instinctively flew out in the direction of the shooter, feeling heat and hatred fill her clenched fist, directing The Force at whoever dared to try and assassinate her soulmate. She felt Dark tendrils swirl at the base of her brain, threatening to seep further into her head and make her squeeze her fist until there was nothing but a broken neck and crushed windpipe on the other end. 

She heard Anakin’s voice somewhere in the back of her mind: 

_ Acknowledge your Dark thoughts. _

She wanted to destroy the shooter! They tried to kill Ben! How dare they! 

_ Honor those thoughts. _

It was okay, she realized, to have those bad thoughts – as long as she didn’t act on them, of course. 

_ Release them. _

She sent the Dark thoughts away from her, replacing that negative energy with Light. 

She relaxed her hand and brought it back down to her side. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben staring at her. She met his gaze and he gave her a nearly imperceptible nod and a barely-there smile, showing her that he was proud of her for her self-control. 

The assassination attempt only created more chaos. Several guards split in pursuit of the shooter, leaving them vulnerable for more attacks. Mainly it was projectiles flying at them; a few blaster shots, but mostly garbage. Rey, Ben, and Poe all hastened their walk until they were actually making a run for the citadel. Rey used her saber to block them from being pelted with trash, the three of them not slowing their sprints until they were safely ushered inside the building by a line of guards. 

The lobby was filled with people shuffling about, all of whom glanced at them for a few moments before turning their attention back to their work and conversations. Finn was waiting for them by the front door and had Rey locked in a bear hug before she even had a chance to greet him. She hugged him back tightly, her eyes tearing up over how much she’d missed him. 

“Gods, Finn, it’s so great to see you again,” she sniffled. 

He buried his head in her shoulder. “I’ve missed you too, Rey.” 

They embraced for a few more moments until Rey’s senses came back to her and she remembered how badly she was hurting. She straightened up and regained her composure before turning to face Poe. 

“The cuffs,” she ordered, voice coated in authority, “off.” 

Poe nodded and grabbed ahold of Ben’s wrists and undid the shackles with a loud snap. 

Ben’s presence flooded into Rey’s mind as soon as the Force-suppressing handcuffs were removed. They both visibly shivered when their minds reconnected and souls reunited, the relief being instantaneous. 

“What the hell was that?” Finn wondered, scrunching his face in confusion at their seemingly random shudders. 

“Those kriffing cuffs cut off our connection to one another,” Ben spat. 

“What does that mean?” Finn asked, clearly irritated at Ben’s tone. 

“No Force means no Force-bond,” Rey explained tiredly. “Remember how much pain I was in after Ben died? That bone-deep ache that made me cry myself to sleep every night? The empty hole in my chest that prompted me to scour the galaxy for months looking for a way to bring Ben back and restore the other half of my soul? That’s what we both feel when he is cut off from The Force. It’s torture. It’s inhumane, Finn.” 

“I’m sorry, Rey. I really am, but—” 

“—but you can’t do anything about it,” she finished flatly. 

“I wish I could.” Finn looked over at Poe, who just looked down and sighed. “I hate seeing you in pain,” Finn promised, sounding genuinely torn. 

“It has to be like this,” Poe cut in, voice somehow both weak and strong at the same time, “no matter how much it hurts. Justice isn’t always pleasant.” 

“We saved the galaxy,” Rey glared at him, “but yeah, this is totally justice.” 

“Would you rather go with their definition of justice?” Poe nodded at the murderous mob outside. “I know I’d take a little tummy-ache over a blaster shot to the face any day.” 

Ben looked at a speechless Rey. “…I never thought I’d say this, but Dameron does make a good point.” He followed his sentence with a dramatic gag, as if the words he spoke tasted like bile on his tongue. “Even if he equates a ripped in half soul to a mere stomachache.” 

“Wow,” Poe said, clearly taken aback at Ben’s agreement with him. “Maybe he is a changed man after all.” 

“I told you,” Rey rolled her eyes at them both. “He isn’t Kylo anymore.” 

“He’s still an asshole, though,” Poe shrugged. 

“And you’re still just a hot-headed pilot who is now wearing a General’s pin,” Ben retorted with a shit-eating grin. 

“Listen here, Solo,” Poe poked him in the chest, “you—" 

“—I hate to interrupt your dick-measuring,” Finn said loudly and stepped between them, “but we need to get him to his cell and prepare for the trial.” 

Rey rested her head on Ben’s shoulder and clasped his hand in her own. “And rip us –  _ our souls  _ – apart again in the process,” she groaned, her heart aching at the sheer thought of it. 

“Unfortunately,” Finn confirmed. 

Rey gripped Ben’s hand tightly as they started to walk, not even caring what people would think about the last Jedi holding hands with the Supreme Leader of the First Order. 

**You should care about it** , Ben said through the bond, completely emotionless. 

**I don’t** , she shot back immediately. 

Ben slipped his hand from hers in one swift motion.  **You shouldn’t associate yourself with me. Not yet.** He glanced over at her.  **You need to continue to treat me as a prisoner.**

Rey nodded sadly. Ben was right, as usual. She couldn’t align herself with Kylo Ren without being seen as a traitor. They didn’t need to both be behind bars. 

**I hate this** , she pouted. 

**So do I, sweetheart** , he thought back quietly. 

The four of them walked through a double locked door and into a long, empty hallway, which they navigated until they reached a transparent section of the wall. Behind the glass-like barrier was a full-sized quarters, complete with furniture and a private fresher. 

“This is my prison cell?” Ben asked, tone disbelieving. “It’s surprisingly…adequate. I shouldn’t deserve a room this nice.” 

Finn laughed lightly. “Anything less and Rey would kill us.” 

“I would,” she agreed with a giggle. “Seriously though, thank you for making it at least somewhat comfortable for him.” 

“Well, who knows how long he’ll be in there,” Finn shrugged casually. “We had to make it livable.” 

Poe tinkered with the control pad on the wall and the see-through wall opened up with a hiss. He and Finn both stepped into the cell, looking behind them for Rey and Ben to follow. The Dyad walked into the cell as well, Ben looking around and taking stock of his new room while Rey zoned out, replaying the words Finn had just said. 

_ Who knows how long he’ll be in there.  _

The gravity of the situation started setting in. Kriff, she really  _ was  _ losing Ben for a while, and she had no idea for how long. Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? 

Years? 

“Rey? Did you hear me?” 

Rey blinked at Finn as she tuned back in. “Sorry, what did you say?” 

“I said we have to go prep you for Ben’s sentencing now. Your testimony might be the only thing that can keep him alive at this point, so it has to be perfect.” 

**I believe in you, sweetheart,** Ben’s voice slipped into her mind before the massive weight on her shoulders could set in.  **Everything is going to be okay, I promise. We can do this.** **_You_ ** **can do this.**

Rey's gaze made contact with his, finding no trace of uncertainty. He truly believed in her. He pulled her close to him and pressed his lips to her forehead while he embraced her tightly. She pretended not to notice the teardrop that fell onto her skin. 

“It’s time to go, Rey,” Poe said quietly. 

Rey and Ben released each other with a nod, trying and failing to discreetly wipe the moisture from their eyes. Finn wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her out into the hallway with Poe by their side, who went to the control panel to lock the door. 

Rey stared into Ben’s eyes while the glass wall closed between them, separating both their bodies and their minds with a hissing sound of finality. He offered her a small smile, obviously waiting until she couldn’t feel his wavering emotions. She didn’t need to see inside his mind to know that, though; Ben was never very good at keeping his feelings from being written across his face. 

Force, she didn’t want to leave him there. If it wasn’t for Finn gently pulling her palm away from where it was pressed against the glass, she might have stayed forever. 

She knew, though. 

She knew she had to leave him now if she wanted to get him out. His fate –  _ their fate  _ – rested in her hands. Ben believed in her, and it was time for her to believe in herself too. 

The three of them walked down the corridor, leaving Ben alone in his cell. 

_ Who knows how long he’ll be in there.  _


	36. **not a chapter**

I'm sorry its been so long. I haven't abandoned this fic. Life has been crazy and my creativity is shot. Major writers block.

But yeah. I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm still working on this.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from a Ryan Star song, which you can find on this Reylo playlist of mine:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MAbc90AU37PuDiEKF5k9J?si=rWpMwuchS1acBFfyqwuA7Q
> 
> P.S. I promise they'll be so so so happy before this is over
> 
> P.P.S. This is my first time posting here, so kudos and comments would be very much appreciated :)


End file.
